Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Peas and petunias


Almost Memorial Day so, time to get going. Ground temperature about 55 in the raised part. Can a trip to the nursery be far off? Money burning a hole in my wallet. Oh, and I found a little green sprouting on another plant I thought was dead but survived the winter.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

So you think you're an original, huh?

As a writer one thing you strive for is originality. It vital to develop new concepts, new situations, new insights different from anything that’s been written before. A friend once said we are all experts at something, in particular we are experts at being ourselves and that alone can lead to those creative insightful truths, That has never been enough. Over the years occasionally I have said or written something I was sure had never been said or written before. Example, I was staying with a friend and for some reason had liberated this huge kettle barbecue I owned from storage and put it on his deck. A volcano erupted somewhere south of us and eventually dusted the whole area including leaving a layer of that fine gray ash on my red barbecue. I remember looking out the window and telling my friend “I should probably go out there and clean the volcano dust off my barbecue.” At that moment I figured most likely no one else had ever said that.

Of other things that seemed original at the time, I have found, while I at least thought I came up with them on my own, it turns out someone else had the idea and sadly often expressed it better than I did. We are always encouraged to read other writers and learn from them. I think I wrote in a previous posting about Shakespeare. As I worked my way through that writer it seemed he had already said everything and what was left for us was only to put things in a modern context. Still, as the Eschatological Laundry List down the side column says, you are bound to keep trying anyway.

One of the terms I had thought was original was Green Day. I mean to my mind it is only a concept: Who actually believes everything turns green on the same day? Apparently EVERY SCIENTIST IN ALASKA. That fellow Ned Rozell who writes the science column I have mentioned before wrote about “Greening up” yesterday and pointed out that scientific observers had kept track of that single date for years. Well it turns out more like naturalists do, but the only thing that matters is I didn’t originate this idea. Here’s a quote from the column testifying to that fact.

“Ted Fathauer, who has recorded green-up at his home on Chena Ridge since 1986, ... declared May 17, as the day ‘leaf buds in birch and aspen open just enough to produce a faint, but distinct green flush through the forest canopy.’”

Here I recorded it as May 13, but that fits, in that we are about four days farther south than Fairbanks, even though it tends to get warmer there in the summer.

So, another expectation of originality shattered. First Shakespeare and now Ned Rozell. I don’t intend to read about barbecues or volcanoes anytime soon so I can at least cling to that one.

The full Rozell column is worth reading, so here it is.

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Rapture

For some reason I haven’t gotten behind the fun around the supposed rapture happening around 6 p.m. today though the person predicting it didn’t choose to say what time zone that is based on. If one assumes the appropriate time zone is the one where Jesus lived, guess what, folks in the U.S., it already happened, If that's the case, it happened at 5 a.m. Alaska daylight time and 9 a.m. eastern time: subtract an hour because they didn't have daylight time in biblical times so, it was all over at 4 a.m and 8 a.m. Anyway, just because it didn’t appeal to me doesn’t mean there isn’t humor involved. Here are a few postings my friends made on Facebook:

Good thing I don't believe the Rapture is coming today becau

Before you ask, Rapture is not covered by apple care.

"One of the best pieces of advice I ever got was from an old man I knew long ago. He said, "Kid, never bet on the end of the world. It's something that will only happen once and you won't be around to collect your winnings."

So the world didn't end, don't worry, it's not the end of the world

And, in case you are one of the survivors, here’s a guide to looting.

And, on Twitter, end of the world confessions.
My favorite: It was me, I let the dogs out.

Friday, May 20, 2011

Rewards







I had lunch yesterday with a longtime friend. As we thought back through our lives it turns out we have known each other for a generation.

We first met at the East Pole; she and others own a cabin just across the main trail maybe a little less than half a mile away. That’s within chainsaw hearing distance. When I first went out there to build, my plan was to live in a tent until I could move in. They graciously let me live in their cabin while I built and believe me that was a wonderful offer given that I was building in winter and just staying alive in a tent might have been more adventure than I was up for.

We stayed friends over the years and each time a book of mine was published, I made sure to give them a copy. I also shared some of the stories, particularly the ones about the Bush, that have never been published.

She lives Outside now and was visiting family in Alaska and found time for us to get together for a lunch and a bit of a drive around the country.

The conversation was mostly a mix of memories and current situations, very pleasant. She had asked me to bring a couple of books and when I gave them to her she asked me to sign them for a young person in her life. That person was her great-granddaughter, the daughter of someone who was running around in the woods as a little kid back in those days when we all shared a lot of time together. I distinctly remember one time towing her and my son as they rode in a sled behind my snowmachine.

(A brief aside: One night I was invited to their place for dinner. In order to “bring something” I made one of those Jell-O no-bake pies. As I headed down the hill later, cradling my bear protection shotgun in the crook of one arm balancing a flashlight and the pie in two hands, stumbling over tree roots here and there, a realization made me laugh out loud {If a man alone in the woods laughs out loud, does it really make a sound?}. It hit me as totally ludicrous that there I was this rough and tough Bush Alaskan running around in the woods with guns and knives, but being ever so careful not to lose the peaches off the top of my Jell-O cheesecake pie as I did.)

Back to the present: So, I signed these two books for my friend’s daughter’s granddaughter and as I was doing that she told me that she and her daughter and her son (who helped with building the cabin a day or two here and there) had kept my books over the years in special places, like where you collect precious memories. That moment made all the writing worthwhile. I have never had a best seller so obviously the writing is for some other reasons.

My friend had just given me one of those reasons. When she said it, I felt this wave of emotion kind of flow through me, one of those tingles you get now and then. For the moment it felt like it had all been worth it just to know that friends had found a creation of mine was worth saving as something special.

THE PHOTO: Taken by this friend. I looked and don’t have any pictures of her or her family. It is 1987 or ’88. The other fellow in the picture is another friend who lived out there, too. I have no idea why I was packing heat to cook a dinner for us.

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Olfactory surprise

According to the directions that came with the fancy disposable greenhouse I bought by accident, once the plants have good leaves you cut back the weaker ones in each little cell. This is the one I put the peas in. So, I did that today and it was a bit of a surprise when after i had cut a few I caught the very distinct scent of fresh peas. Anyone who has ever shucked peas or had some garden fresh knows that scent, it is unmistakable. Maybe that is a good sign that in time there may be whole peas. At least it confirms the seeds I bought really are for peas. Now those plants can join the petunias outside during the day for the hardening process.

On other notes: A Canada goose was strolling along the main highway not far from where Fred used to hang out. Maybe he's back. Overhead Arctic terns were hovering on the Knik River tidal marshes. They may be mating or may be past it. Without a longer observation it's difficult to tell. They have such an interesting way of courting. Female will stand on a high spot, a piling or in this case electrical wires. Males come to her and hover in front of her the way terns can, flapping their wings rapidly. In their beaks they hold small fish in offering. I have seen a female actually refuse this offering by lifting her beak and turning to the side in a rejection that can only be called haughty. One time and too many beers ago we sat on the bow of the boat scoring the dives the terns made into the harbor for prey, giving them points from 1 to 10 the way an Olympic diving judge might. The Russian judge always low-balled them.

The pond is totally free of ice now and still no swans on it. It would seem the ones that fellow shot last summer belonged on this pond. What a despicable act.

The porcupine blossoming hasn't happened yet, and for some reason the moon didn't show last night on the whole drive home despite a clear sky with daylight and rose-colored horizon well after midnight. But, on the way to work today a porcupine beside the road.

And one more thing. Just to shatter the pastoral atmosphere. This started today, too. I love the sound of a high-rpm drag car running the quarter mile on a Sunday afternoon.

Friday, May 13, 2011

Green Day !


OK not so breaking. Just that I wasn't paying much attention and I looked up and there was a green hue to everything. Means i can get these petunias out of the house before they take over. Anyway finally here. On top of it all there is a beautiful just about full moon tonight, probably the last one we'll see until September. Oh, the picture? Peas. Have you ever had split pea soup made from fresh, sweet peas? Reminds me of one of those one-upmanship conversations I had with a woman many years ago. She finally quit when I told her I split my own peas.

Monday, May 9, 2011

Another Alaska danger they didn't warn me about



So, I was walking into a store a week or so ago and just outside the door they had a display of flats full of green plants. Petunias for $21. I thought what the heck, a start to this year's garden. I brought them home and put the flat on the kitchen table and forgot about it until it looked like the top picture. Looked pretty full. I know the standard rule in Alaska is you don't plant outdoors at least until the end of May. There is still frozen ground in the shade and it can go below freezing during the night.
That's fine. I asked a friend at work what i am supposed to do with this jungle growing in the flat and she said you have to separate them. One by one.
That led to more flats, a bag of dirt and some individual containers. Then i was ready to wait two or three more weeks. So, I thought. Now look at the second picture. What the heck do I do now? What am I going to do now?
I could put one on every desk at work and still have 50 left over. In addition through a purchasing error I now have 72 pea plants poking through dirt in one of those greenhouse flats. And, it is only May 10 and we still haven't even had Green Day yet. Where is that global warming when you really need it?
In cultivating the garden i found some green on plants I thought were dead. And farther out in the yard there are little green buds on the wild roses.
There's a lot of open water on the swan pond, too, and a couple of ducks on it yesterday.
As Petunia's boyfriend might say the the the that's all folks.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Passages

The other day a friend suggested, with some measure of innuendo, a connection between me and one particular very beautiful young woman. Of course, the idea is ludicrous. I mean, I did the math. But I do have one question. When the hell did I go from being twice their age to being three times their age?

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Na na na na, hey hey hey goood bye

As the news was coming across last night I began to grow increasingly uncomfortable with the idea of cheering and jubilation over the death of another human being. It just didn’t sit well despite the evil of the man and the number of people worldwide who were killed because of him.

Then as the night progressed, and pictures of various demonstrations started coming in, I discovered a different perspective. What I saw were Americans smiling, laughing, happy, waving American flags, placing signs and memorials at Ground Zero, at the spot where the fourth plane went down in Pennsylvania and in Times Square and other places across the nation. There was sheer joy in the air.

My thoughts went to photographs of other demonstrations I had seen over the years, the ones in foreign countries where people were displaying hatred for the United States, dating all the way back to the 50s to the first one I could remember which was Richard Nixon’s motorcade under attack somewhere in South America, What was different in ours yesterday was nothing was thrown, no flags were burned, no effigies hung, just an expression of pure joy. And, I found myself hoping the people in the countries where those other demonstrations took place could see that same message. Hey, we don’t hate you, we don’t hate your country, we got our man and that’s that. Justice served. As our editorial writer wrote today, we didn’t start the war, he did and now he is a casualty of his own war.

Finally the word I came up with to put on it was satisfaction. I felt satisfied in the way good old American western justice was served. The bad guy got his; it’s over, let’s see what we can work out now without the gunfire.

The cowboy justice was carried out in a way we can appreciate too. How many times have we seen an impossible covert mission like this in the movies and on TV. Only this time those were real bullets flying around. Even so, mission accomplished with no friendly casualties.

So, my word was satisfied. Other words I heard were closure and revenge and a few others. Revenge isn’t going to bring his victims back and as for closure, well perhaps the survivors will feel as I do that justice was served but that isn’t going to bring their loved ones back either.

And sadly this isn’t over. There are 10-year-old kids being trained right now to hate us and to carry on the man’s holy war. We can be aware of that and prepare for it and do what we can to stop it but that has to be a continuing operation,

For now it’s time for a moment of satisfaction. Eight years after it was declared prematurely: Mission Accomplished.

ADDENDUM: One interesting aspect of the action was a couple of fellows near the compound actually tweeted the whole attack without realizing what it was about. This is a link to one of the Twitter feeds.

Best headlines ever

Naked pair fed LSD gummy worm to dog

Owners of a Noah's Ark replica file a lawsuit over rain damage

In Southcentral Alaska earthquake, damage originated in the ground, engineers say

A headline that could only be written in Alaska: At state cross country, Glacier Bears and Grizzlies sweep, Lynx repeat, Wolverines make history — and a black bear crosses the trail

Man kills self before shooting wife and daughter

Alabama governor candidate caught in lesbian sperm donation scandal

Sister hits moose on way to visit sister who hit moose.

Man caught driving stolen car filled with radioactive uranium, rattlesnake, whiskey

Man loses his testicles after attempting to smoke weed through a SCUBA tank

Church Mutual Insurance won't cover Church's flood damage because it's 'an act of God'

Homicide victims rarely talk to police

Meerkat Expert Attacked Monkey Handler Over Love Affair with Llama Keeper

GOP congressman opposes gun control because gay marriage leads to bestiality

Owner of killer bear chokes to death on sex toy

Support for legalizing pot hits all-time high

Give me all your money or my penguin will explode

How zombie worms have sex in whale bones

Crocodile steals zoo worker's lawn mower

Woman shot by oven while trying to cook waffles

Nude beach blowjob jet ski fight leads to wife's death

Woman stabs husband with squirrel for not buying beer Christmas Eve

GOPer files complaint against Democrat for telling the truth about Big Lie social posts

Man shot dead on Syracuse Street for 2nd time in 2 days

Alaska woman punches bear in face, saves dog

Johnny Rotten suffers flea bite on his penis after rescuing squirrel

Memorable quotations

The best way to know you are having an adventure is when you wish you were home talking about it." — a mechanic on the Alaska State Ferry System. Or as in my own case planning how I will be writing it on this blog.

"You can't promote principled anti-corruption without pissing off corrupt people." — George Kent

"If only the British had held on to the airports, the whole thing might have gone differently for us." — Mick Jagger

"You can do anything as long as you don't scare the horses." — a mother's favorite saying recalled by a friend

A poem is an egg with a horse inside” — anonymous fourth grader

“My children will likely turn my picture to the wall but what the hell, you only get old once." — Joe May

“Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.” — Ernest Hemingway

When I write, I feel like an armless, legless man with a crayon in his mouth. Kurt Vonnegut

“If you wrote something for which someone sent you a cheque, if you cashed the cheque and it didn't bounce, and if you then paid the light bill with the money, I consider you talented.”Stephen King

The thing about ignorance is, you don't have to remain ignorant. — me again"

"It was like the aftermath of an orgasm with the wrong partner." – David Lagercrants “The Girl in the Spider’s Web.”

Why worry about dying, you aren't going to live to regret it.

Never debate with someone who gets ink by the barrel" — George Hayes, former Alaska Attorney General who died recently

My dear Mr. Frost: two roads never diverge in a yellow wood. Three roads meet there. — @Shakespeare on Twitter

Normal is how somebody else thinks you should act.

"The mark of a great shiphandler is never getting into situations that require great shiphandling," Adm. Ernest King, USN

Me: Does the restaurant have cute waitresses?

My friend Gail: All waitresses are cute when you're hungry.

I'm not a writer, but sometimes I push around words to see what happens. – Scott Berry

I realized today how many of my stories start out "years ago." What's next? Once upon a time?"

“The rivers of Alaska are strewn with the bones of men who made but one mistake” - Fred McGarry, a Nushagak Trapper

Many people hear voices when no one is there. Some of them are called mad and are shut up in rooms where they stared at walls all day. Others are called writers and they do pretty much the same thing. – Meg Chittenden

A non-writing writer is a monster courting insanity. – Franz Kafka

We are all immortal until the one day we are not. – me again

If the muse is late, start without her – Peter S. Beagle

Substitute ‘damn’ every time you’re inclined to write ‘very;’ your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be. ~Mark Twain Actually you could do the same thing with the word "really" as in "really cold."

If you are looking for an experience that will temper your vanity, this is it. There's no one to impress when you're alone on the trap line. – Michael Carey quoting his father's journal

Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing. – Benjamin Franklin

It’s nervous work. The state you need to write in is the state that others are paying large sums of money to get rid of. – Shirley Hazzard

So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of intelligence -- Bertrand Russell

You know that I always just wanted to have a small ship to take stuff from a place that had a lot of that stuff to a place that did not have a lot of that stuff and so prosper.—Jackie Faber, “The Wake of the Lorelei Lee”

If you attack the arguer instead of the argument, you lose both

If an insurance company won’t pay for damages caused by an “act of God,” shouldn’t it then have to prove the existence of God? – I said that

I used to think getting old was about vanity—but actually it’s about losing people you love. Getting wrinkles is trivial. – Eugene O’Neill

German General to Swiss General: “You have only 500,000 men in your army; what would you do if I invaded with 1 million men?”

Swiss General: “Well, I suppose every one of my soldiers would need to fire twice.”

Writing is the only thing that when I do it, I don’t feel I should be doing something else.—Gloria Steinem

Exceed your bandwidth—sign on the wall of the maintenance shop at the West Coast/Alaska Tsunami Warning Center

One thing I do know, if you keep at it, you usually wind up getting something done.—Patricia Monaghan

Do you want to know what kind of person makes the best reporter? I’ll tell you. A borderline sociopath. Someone smart, inquisitive, stubborn, disorganized, chaotic, and in a perpetual state of simmering rage at the failings of the world.—Brett Arends

It is a very simple mind that only knows how to spell a word one way.—Andrew Jackson

3:30 is too late or too early to do anything—Rene Descartes

Everything is okay when it’s 50-below as long as everything is okay. – an Alaskan in Tom Walker’s “The Seventymile Kid”

You can have your own opinion but you can’t have your own science.—commenter arguing on a story about polar bears and global warming

He looks at three ex wives as a good start—TV police drama

Talkeetna: A friendly little drinking town with a climbing problem.—a handmade bumper sticker

“You’re either into the wall or into the show”—Marco Andretti on giving it all to qualify last at the 2011 Indy 500

Makeup is not for the faint of heart—the makeup guerrilla

“I’m going to relax in a very adult manner.”—Danica Patrick after sweating it out and qualifying half an hour before Andretti

“Asking Congress to come back is like asking a mugger to come back because he forgot your wallet.”—a roundtable participant on Fox of all places

As Republicans go further back in the conception process to define when life actually begins, I am beginning to think the eventual definition will be life begins in the beer I was drinking when I met her.—me again

Hunting is a “critical element for the long-term conservation of wood bison.”—a state department of Fish and Game official explaining why the state would not go along with a federal plan to reintroduce wood bison in Alaska because the agreement did not specifically allow hunting

Each day do something that won’t compute – anon

I can’t belive I still have to protest this shit – a sign carriend by an elderly woman at an Occupy demonstration

Life should be a little nuts or else it’s just a bunch of Thursdays strung together—Kevin Costner as Beau Burroughs in “Rumor has it”

You’re just a wanker whipping up fear —Irish President Michael D. Higgins to a tea party radio announcer

Being president doesn’t change who you are; it reveals who you are—Michelle Obama

Sports malaprops

Naked pair fed LSD gummy worm to dog

Owners of a Noah's Ark replica file a lawsuit over rain damage

In Southcentral Alaska earthquake, damage originated in the ground, engineers say

A headline that could only be written in Alaska: At state cross country, Glacier Bears and Grizzlies sweep, Lynx repeat, Wolverines make history — and a black bear crosses the trail

Man kills self before shooting wife and daughter

Alabama governor candidate caught in lesbian sperm donation scandal

Sister hits moose on way to visit sister who hit moose.

Man caught driving stolen car filled with radioactive uranium, rattlesnake, whiskey

Man loses his testicles after attempting to smoke weed through a SCUBA tank

Church Mutual Insurance won't cover Church's flood damage because it's 'an act of God'

Homicide victims rarely talk to police

Meerkat Expert Attacked Monkey Handler Over Love Affair with Llama Keeper

GOP congressman opposes gun control because gay marriage leads to bestiality

Owner of killer bear chokes to death on sex toy

Support for legalizing pot hits all-time high

Give me all your money or my penguin will explode

How zombie worms have sex in whale bones

Crocodile steals zoo worker's lawn mower

Woman shot by oven while trying to cook waffles

Nude beach blowjob jet ski fight leads to wife's death

Woman stabs husband with squirrel for not buying beer Christmas Eve

GOPer files complaint against Democrat for telling the truth about Big Lie social posts

Man shot dead on Syracuse Street for 2nd time in 2 days

Alaska woman punches bear in face, saves dog

Johnny Rotten suffers flea bite on his penis after rescuing squirrel