Friday, June 24, 2011

Scarecrows dressed in the latest styles

A lot's been going on around here and has built to the breaking point. Interesting how such small things can change the mood, like some success in the garden and then a little change in the background music, too. One of those days when money was burning that perpetual hole in the pocket, seems most of my pants have that hole. So that explains the pictures. The plants are those peas that threatened to take over the house. Would you look at them now. Not to bore anyone on here (like i don't anyway) but there is a small album of garden pictures here.
And then there's the second picture: How long were we going to go without mentioning her anyway? Actually the subject of the photo isn't really her. That money burning that hole led to the display of iPhone docks that amplify the music. They were on sale and I grabbed one and was heading away when I saw this one. Whoa. an iPAD dock. Of course it was the only one that wasn't on sale. And to top that off, and I know I'm late with this, but discovered Pandora, too. Now this is cool. I plugged in just a few favorite musicians and since then have been listening to an assortment of music I haven't heard in years, including many I didn't name in my list.

"Broken windows and empty hallways,
a pale dead moon in a sky streaked with grey"

Prime time television was interrupted last night for one of those alert test messages. I thought it strange it wasn't done in the early morning hours when it only interrupts TV for those of us limited to those hours of freedom. Then it came up with tsunami warning. There was a sizable earthquake in the Aleutian Islands and a tsunami was deemed possible. Then the predictions for the time of arrival at various places came up on the screen. At first I thought that was a good idea, and then I looked at the clock. All those arrival times had already passed. I was already dead. Thanks GCi. Save it for late-night next time.

"...the frozen smiles to chase love away ..."

Driving around the past two hot and sunny days, I have seen several children sitting on the grass, lawns and parks..... reading.....books..... real books. I waved to them. It's been so warm the top almost came off the Jeep today.

The other night driving home I saw a moose wading through this swamp:

Understand it was after midnight you could still spot a moose against a dark background. Twice last week I pulled out of work about 11:30 p.m. and the sun was so bright setting that I had to put the visor down. That of course was right on the solstice which passed without much fanfare this year. Still a solstice and now the days start getting shorter or the nights start getting longer depending on your outlook.

"Bright before me signs implore me..."

And one pretty neat thing came up this week, but to see it you will have to click on the "More Wild Critters" book cover in the right hand column. I came across it by accident just wandering around the web on a lazy day.

"Help the needy and show them the way."

So much for observations, now on to the adventures in Alaska government. Once again the powers that be have shot themselves in the foot, though it's possible it was done on purpose. There is a federal program for coastal zone management. It was ostensibly designed to give people living in coastal areas some voice in the development of resources along the coast and offshore. Each state with ocean frontage has to develop a coastal zone management program. Once that is established it gives those folks their voice. If the state fails to install a program the state and local folks are excluded from influencing development in their neighborhoods. There is also federal grant money available through the program for projects like studying the effects of such development and creating base line data banks among other things. The state of Alaska has such a program, at least until June 30. It expires then. During the regular session of the Legislature passage of an extension failed. It failed again in a special session. Now there's another special session set for Monday. It may still work out. The effort to pass some kind of bill that would keep the program received no support from the milktoast toe-the-conservative-line governor and a lot of opposition from people like the oil industry. Giving people who live in an area a voice in things like offshore oil exploration and development, well, that can create some expensive problems. Much better to keep the people out of it so they can go ahead and develop without restraint. That worked out really well in the Gulf of Mexico last year. And anyway, what harm could come from drilling offshore in the Arctic? That may be the real reason for the lack of leadership from the governor and the Republicans in the Legislature. A person in the oil industry once told me there are no coincidences where that industry is concerned. Perhaps a sharpened harpoon launched from the people who will be most affected by offshore drilling in the Arctic would be enough stimulus to get some action.

But there's a twist. No politician worth his salt in Alaska ever ran for office without using the word "jobs." It is like they think it is the magic word that will grab votes. You can't talk about any issue at all without someone saying it will either cost jobs or create jobs. It took politicians to create the mess in the Legislature a mess that is costing 33 people their jobs. Thirty-three people in Juneau, Alaska, which isn't that big a place and has no industry to speak of, except government. Wonder how many of those guys will talk about creating jobs next time they have to campaign. Answer: All of them, conveniently forgetting they put 33 people in jeopardy of losing their jobs.

"Tin can at my feet.
Think I'll kick it down the street.
Human kindness overflowing,
and I think it's going to rain today."

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Interesting quotations

· " “Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.” — Ernest Hemingway

When I write, I feel like an armless, legless man with a crayon in his mouth. Kurt Vonnegut

“If you wrote something for which someone sent you a cheque, if you cashed the cheque and it didn't bounce, and if you then paid the light bill with the money, I consider you talented.” Stephen King

The thing about ignornance is, you don't have to remain ignorant. — me again"

Never debate with someone who gets ink by the barrel" — George Hayes, former Alaska Attorney General who died recently

My dear Mr. Frost: two roads never diverge in a yellow wood. Three roads meet there. — @Shakespeareon Twitter

"The mark of a great shiphandler is never getting into situations that require great shiphandling," Adm. Ernest King, USN

Me: Does the restaurant have cute waitresses?

My friend Gail: All waitresses are cute when you're hungry.

I'm not a writer, but sometimes I push around words to see what happens. – Scott Berry

“The rivers of Alaska are strewn with the bones of men who made but one mistake” - Fred McGarry, a Nushagak Trapper

Many people hear voices when no one is there. Some of them are called mad and are shut up in rooms where they stared at walls all day. Others are called writers and they do pretty much the same thing. – Meg Chittenden

A non-writing writer is a monster courting insanity. – Franz Kafka

We are all immortal until the one day we are not. – me again

If the muse is late, start without her – Peter S. Beagle

Substitute ‘damn’ every time you’re inclined to write ‘very;’ your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be. ~Mark Twain Actually you could do the same thing with the word "really" as in "really cold."

If you are looking for an experience that will temper your vanity, this is it. There's no one to impress when you're alone on the trap line. – Michael Carey quoting his father's journal

Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing. – Benjamin Franklin

It’s nervous work. The state you need to write in is the state that others are paying large sums of money to get rid of. – Shirley Hazzard

So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of intelligence -- Bertrand Russell

You know that I always just wanted to have a small ship to take stuff from a place that had a lot of that stuff to a place that did not have a lot of that stuff and so prosper.—Jackie Faber, “The Wake of the Lorelei Lee”

If you attack the arguer instead of the argument, you lose both

If an insurance company won’t pay for damages caused by an “act of God,” shouldn’t it then have to prove the existence of God? – I said that

I used to think getting old was about vanity—but actually it’s about losing people you love. Getting wrinkles is trivial. – Eugene O’Neill

German General to Swiss General: “You have only 500,000 men in your army; what would you do if I invaded with 1 million men?”

Swiss General: “Well, I suppose every one of my soldiers would need to fire twice.”

Writing is the only thing that when I do it, I don’t feel I should be doing something else.—Gloria Steinem

Exceed your bandwidth—sign on the wall of the maintenance shop at the West Coast/Alaska Tsunami Warning Center

One thing I do know, if you keep at it, you usually wind up getting something done.—Patricia Monaghan

Do you want to know what kind of person makes the best reporter? I’ll tell you. A borderline sociopath. Someone smart, inquisitive, stubborn, disorganized, chaotic, and in a perpetual state of simmering rage at the failings of the world.—Brett Arends

It is a very simple mind that only knows how to spell a word one way.—Andrew Jackson

3:30 is too late or too early to do anything—Rene Descartes

Everything is okay when it’s 50-below as long as everything is okay. – an Alaskan in Tom Walker’s “The Seventymile Kid”

You can have your own opinion but you can’t have your own science.—commenter arguing on a story about polar bears and global warming

He looks at three ex wives as a good start—TV police drama

Talkeetna: A friendly little drinking town with a climbing problem.—a handmade bumper sticker

“You’re either into the wall or into the show”—Marco Andretti on giving it all to qualify last at the 2011 Indy 500

Makeup is not for the faint of heart—the makeup guerrilla

“I’m going to relax in a very adult manner.”—Danica Patrick after sweating it out and qualifying half an hour before Andretti

“Asking Congress to come back is like asking a mugger to come back because he forgot your wallet.”—a roundtable participant on Fox of all places

As Republicans go further back in the conception process to define when life actually begins, I am beginning to think the eventual definition will be life begins in the beer I was drinking when I met her.—me again

Hunting is a “critical element for the long-term conservation of wood bison.”—a state department of Fish and Game official explaining why the state would not go along with a federal plan to reintroduce wood bison in Alaska because the agreement did not specifically allow hunting

Each day do something that won’t compute – anon

I can’t belive I still have to protest this shit – a sign carriend by an elderly woman at an Occupy demonstration

Life should be a little nuts or else it’s just a bunch of Thursdays strung together—Kevin Costner as Beau Burroughs in “Rumor has it”

You’re just a wanker whipping up fear —Irish President Michael D. Higgins to a tea party radio announcer

Being president doesn’t change who you are; it reveals who you are—Michelle Obama

Things sports announcers say

"… there's a fearlessment about him …"

"He's got to have the lead if he's going to win this race."

"Kansas has always had the ability to score with the basketball."

"NFL to put computer chips in balls." Oh, that's gotta hurt.

"Now that you're in the finals you have to run the race that's going to get you on the podium."

"It's very important for both sides that they stay on their feet."

This is why you get to hate sportscasters. Kansas beats Texas for the first time since 1938. So the pundits open their segment with the question "let's talk about what went wrong." Wrong? Kansas WON a football game! That's what went RIGHT!

"I brought out the thermostat to show you how cold it is here." Points to a thermometer reading zero in Minneapolis.

"It's tough to win on the road when you turn the ball over." Oh, really? Like you can do all right if you turn the ball over playing at home?

Cliches so imbedded in sportscasters' minds they can't help themselves: "Minnesota fell from the ranks of the undefeated today." What ranks? They were the only undefeated team left.

A good one: A 5'10" player went up and caught a pass off a defensive back over six feet tall. The quote? "He's got some hops."

Best homonym of the day so far: "It's all tied. Alabama 34, Kentucky 3." Oh, Tide.

"Steve Hooker commentates on his Olympic pole vault gold medal." When "comments" just won't do.

"He's certainly capable of the top ten, maybe even higher than that."

"Atlanta is capable of doing what they're doing."

"Biyombo, one of seven kids from the Republic of Congo." In the NBA? In America? In his whole country?

"You can't come out and be aggressive but you can't come out and be unaggressive."

"They're gonna be in every game they play!"

"First you have to get two strikes on the hitter before you get the strikeout."

"The game ended in the final seconds." You have to wonder when the others ended or are they still going on?

How is a team down by one touchdown before the half "totally demoralized?"

"If they score runs they will win."

"I think the matchup is what it is"

After a play a Houston defender was on his knees, his head on the ground and his hand underneath him appeared to clutch a very sensitive part of the male anatomy. He rolled onto his back and quickly removed his hand. (Remember the old Cosby routine "you cannot touch certain parts of your body?") Finally they helped the guy to the sideline and then the replay was shown. In it the guy clearly took a hard knee between his thighs. As this was being shown, one of the announcers says, "It looks like he hurt his shoulder." The other agrees and then they both talk about how serious a shoulder injury can be. Were we watching the same game?

"Somebody is going to be the quarterback or we're going to see a new quarterback."

"If you're gonna play running back in the SEC you're gonna take hits."

"That was a playmaker making a play."

Best headlines ever

Sister hits moose on way to visit sister who hit moose.

Man loses his testicles after attempting to smoke weed through a SCUBA tank

Church Mutual Insurance won't cover Church's flood damage because it's 'an act of God'

Homicide victims rarely talk to police

Meerkat Expert Attacked Monkey Handler Over Love Affair With Llama Keeper

GOP congressman opposes gun control because gay marriage leads to bestiality

Owner of killer bear chokes to death on sex toy

Support for legalizing pot hits all-time high

Give me all your money or my penguin will explode

How zombie worms have sex in whale bones

Crocodile steals zoo worker's lawn mower

Woman shot by oven while trying to cook waffles

Nude beach blowjob jet ski fight leads to wife's death

Woman stabs husband with squirrel for not buying beer Christmas Eve