Wednesday, July 27, 2016

Noah's Ark, White House construction, Lady Gaga and everything in between

Sunflowers do grow in Alaska. Those stakes are six feet tall.
Curiouser and curiouser. It's been a while since the last post and readership has fallen off considerably, not that it was ever very large. But something happened this week and I am not sure what. I have been getting almost 200 page hits a day from Russia. They occur overnight here, daytime across most of that country. No clue what triggered it and they seem to be hitting a variety of posts, not just one or two. My thought is they are so bad at hacking they are trying to get Hillary's emails and end up with the ravings of an Alaska maniac. Just doing my part. lol. So here are a bunch of discoveries over the past month. I have tried to stay away from  politics as much as I can. It's just too easy. So, try these:

Noah's Ark crashed into a Coast Guard vessel while docking in Oslo, Norway. Of course it was a replica but someone had already called animal control in case of an abandon-ship before that was determined.

Petsmart is using the Stones' "Sympathy for the Devil" in TV commercials. Whu-u-u-ut?

Basketball's greatest, Michael Jordan, contributed a million dollars to a police chiefs' organization called Institute for Community-Police Relations and another million to the NAACP Legal defense Fund.

There's a young teen-looking boy who walks his sheep on a leash over the bike trails around here.

A friend who is close to my age and suffers some age-related infirmities raced in a hill climb with
Kitty Delorey Fleischman takes a corner in a hill climb flashing
her "handicapped" placard.
her vintage Porsche recently. This is what she had to say about it: "I was the only person up on the hill with both racing numbers and a handicapped placard."

A gun shop in Illinois raffled off an AR-15 rifle to benefit victims of the Orlando night club massacre.

Facebook thinks I would like being friends with someone named Chi Chi Ajuga. Hmm I think maybe so.

The NFL suspended Johnny Manziel four games for substance abuse. Johnny Manziel doesn't play in the NFL any more.

Lead was found in the drinking water at a building holding congressional offices. Sixty Reps petitioned the EPA for stronger lead and copper standards for water. Meanwhile 5,000 city water systems across the country have higher concentrations of the lead and copper.

Lady Gaga kisses the ground after
passing her test.
Lady Gaga finally passed a test and received her first driver's license. A week later pulled over by the police. No plates on her new pickup truck. Wait, Lady Gaga drives a pickup truck?

Yup, she's driving a pickup.
There's this ad Montel Williams does on TV for a quick-loan operation. At the end where medicine products' side effects would be listed, he has to say the loan offer is not available in New York state because of laws against high interest rates. Shouldn't that tell potential borrowers something?

There is a city named White in Georgia. (Actually named for a postmaster, but, still …)

In reading a headline recently, I realized I am still not sure where Darfur is.  (Thanks to Google I found it.)

Retired Lt. Gen. Michael Flynn, a military adviser to Donald Trump's campaign called on Iranian leader Ayatollah Khomeini to denounce the terrorist attack in Nice, France. Khomeini died in 1989.

Today, July 27, it has been 133 days since Merrick Garland was nominated to be a Supreme Court justice.

Basketball player Lebron James who went to the NBA right out of high school has donated more than $41 million to send 1,100 students to college.

Donald Trump, who flew from New York to Scotland for a weekend of golf, said Sarah Palin lived too far away to be invited to speak at the Republican convention. Don't know whether to criticize or thank him.

There's such a thing as a bass flute. Who knew?
Featuring a bass flute.


Fist bump – two First Ladies: Fox flabbermouth Bill O’Reilly criticized  Michelle Obama's comment she wakes up every morning in a house built by slaves by claiming those slaves who built the White House “were well-fed and had decent lodgings.” Another first lady, the second one to be exact, Abigail Adams, who moved into the White House while it was still under construction, wrote about 200 years ago that the slave labor was ill-fed and treated poorly. Trolled. As if being a slave wasn't enough for O'Reilly.

Deadhorse, Alaska, on the coast of the Arctic Ocean hit a record temperature of 85 degrees F in mid July.

And, as a postscript, here is a link to a playlist of all the songs the Republicans have used without permission.



2 comments:

  1. Oh, COOOOL! You forgot to mention that I hadn't been able to race for 10 years, and my handicap placard was property of the "Queen of the Hill" for the fastest women's time. Thanks for sharing that, Tim. I love it!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Great column. Thanks for the comment about O'Reilly. I've been watching whenever I had a chance today for comments about the slavery thing from O'Reilly. As always, you nailed that one. I hadn't seen Abigail Adams' comment before your comment, but thought it was remarkable that the slaves who built the White House were well-fed and housed. It sure sounded out of character for the times. Also, on one post, someone had written about the architect who built it, and I started wondering at what point architects started (and stopped) swinging hammers. I'd never known of an architect to do the actual construction.

    ReplyDelete

Best headlines ever

Naked pair fed LSD gummy worm to dog

Owners of a Noah's Ark replica file a lawsuit over rain damage

In Southcentral Alaska earthquake, damage originated in the ground, engineers say

A headline that could only be written in Alaska: At state cross country, Glacier Bears and Grizzlies sweep, Lynx repeat, Wolverines make history — and a black bear crosses the trail

Man kills self before shooting wife and daughter

Alabama governor candidate caught in lesbian sperm donation scandal

Sister hits moose on way to visit sister who hit moose.

Man caught driving stolen car filled with radioactive uranium, rattlesnake, whiskey

Man loses his testicles after attempting to smoke weed through a SCUBA tank

Church Mutual Insurance won't cover Church's flood damage because it's 'an act of God'

Homicide victims rarely talk to police

Meerkat Expert Attacked Monkey Handler Over Love Affair with Llama Keeper

GOP congressman opposes gun control because gay marriage leads to bestiality

Owner of killer bear chokes to death on sex toy

Support for legalizing pot hits all-time high

Give me all your money or my penguin will explode

How zombie worms have sex in whale bones

Crocodile steals zoo worker's lawn mower

Woman shot by oven while trying to cook waffles

Nude beach blowjob jet ski fight leads to wife's death

Woman stabs husband with squirrel for not buying beer Christmas Eve

GOPer files complaint against Democrat for telling the truth about Big Lie social posts

Man shot dead on Syracuse Street for 2nd time in 2 days

Alaska woman punches bear in face, saves dog

Johnny Rotten suffers flea bite on his penis after rescuing squirrel

Memorable quotations

The best way to know you are having an adventure is when you wish you were home talking about it." — a mechanic on the Alaska State Ferry System. Or as in my own case planning how I will be writing it on this blog.

"You can't promote principled anti-corruption without pissing off corrupt people." — George Kent

"If only the British had held on to the airports, the whole thing might have gone differently for us." — Mick Jagger

"You can do anything as long as you don't scare the horses." — a mother's favorite saying recalled by a friend

A poem is an egg with a horse inside” — anonymous fourth grader

“My children will likely turn my picture to the wall but what the hell, you only get old once." — Joe May

“Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.” — Ernest Hemingway

When I write, I feel like an armless, legless man with a crayon in his mouth. Kurt Vonnegut

“If you wrote something for which someone sent you a cheque, if you cashed the cheque and it didn't bounce, and if you then paid the light bill with the money, I consider you talented.”Stephen King

The thing about ignorance is, you don't have to remain ignorant. — me again"

"It was like the aftermath of an orgasm with the wrong partner." – David Lagercrants “The Girl in the Spider’s Web.”

Why worry about dying, you aren't going to live to regret it.

Never debate with someone who gets ink by the barrel" — George Hayes, former Alaska Attorney General who died recently

My dear Mr. Frost: two roads never diverge in a yellow wood. Three roads meet there. — @Shakespeare on Twitter

Normal is how somebody else thinks you should act.

"The mark of a great shiphandler is never getting into situations that require great shiphandling," Adm. Ernest King, USN

Me: Does the restaurant have cute waitresses?

My friend Gail: All waitresses are cute when you're hungry.

I'm not a writer, but sometimes I push around words to see what happens. – Scott Berry

I realized today how many of my stories start out "years ago." What's next? Once upon a time?"

“The rivers of Alaska are strewn with the bones of men who made but one mistake” - Fred McGarry, a Nushagak Trapper

Many people hear voices when no one is there. Some of them are called mad and are shut up in rooms where they stared at walls all day. Others are called writers and they do pretty much the same thing. – Meg Chittenden

A non-writing writer is a monster courting insanity. – Franz Kafka

We are all immortal until the one day we are not. – me again

If the muse is late, start without her – Peter S. Beagle

Substitute ‘damn’ every time you’re inclined to write ‘very;’ your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be. ~Mark Twain Actually you could do the same thing with the word "really" as in "really cold."

If you are looking for an experience that will temper your vanity, this is it. There's no one to impress when you're alone on the trap line. – Michael Carey quoting his father's journal

Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing. – Benjamin Franklin

It’s nervous work. The state you need to write in is the state that others are paying large sums of money to get rid of. – Shirley Hazzard

So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of intelligence -- Bertrand Russell

You know that I always just wanted to have a small ship to take stuff from a place that had a lot of that stuff to a place that did not have a lot of that stuff and so prosper.—Jackie Faber, “The Wake of the Lorelei Lee”

If you attack the arguer instead of the argument, you lose both

If an insurance company won’t pay for damages caused by an “act of God,” shouldn’t it then have to prove the existence of God? – I said that

I used to think getting old was about vanity—but actually it’s about losing people you love. Getting wrinkles is trivial. – Eugene O’Neill

German General to Swiss General: “You have only 500,000 men in your army; what would you do if I invaded with 1 million men?”

Swiss General: “Well, I suppose every one of my soldiers would need to fire twice.”

Writing is the only thing that when I do it, I don’t feel I should be doing something else.—Gloria Steinem

Exceed your bandwidth—sign on the wall of the maintenance shop at the West Coast/Alaska Tsunami Warning Center

One thing I do know, if you keep at it, you usually wind up getting something done.—Patricia Monaghan

Do you want to know what kind of person makes the best reporter? I’ll tell you. A borderline sociopath. Someone smart, inquisitive, stubborn, disorganized, chaotic, and in a perpetual state of simmering rage at the failings of the world.—Brett Arends

It is a very simple mind that only knows how to spell a word one way.—Andrew Jackson

3:30 is too late or too early to do anything—Rene Descartes

Everything is okay when it’s 50-below as long as everything is okay. – an Alaskan in Tom Walker’s “The Seventymile Kid”

You can have your own opinion but you can’t have your own science.—commenter arguing on a story about polar bears and global warming

He looks at three ex wives as a good start—TV police drama

Talkeetna: A friendly little drinking town with a climbing problem.—a handmade bumper sticker

“You’re either into the wall or into the show”—Marco Andretti on giving it all to qualify last at the 2011 Indy 500

Makeup is not for the faint of heart—the makeup guerrilla

“I’m going to relax in a very adult manner.”—Danica Patrick after sweating it out and qualifying half an hour before Andretti

“Asking Congress to come back is like asking a mugger to come back because he forgot your wallet.”—a roundtable participant on Fox of all places

As Republicans go further back in the conception process to define when life actually begins, I am beginning to think the eventual definition will be life begins in the beer I was drinking when I met her.—me again

Hunting is a “critical element for the long-term conservation of wood bison.”—a state department of Fish and Game official explaining why the state would not go along with a federal plan to reintroduce wood bison in Alaska because the agreement did not specifically allow hunting

Each day do something that won’t compute – anon

I can’t belive I still have to protest this shit – a sign carriend by an elderly woman at an Occupy demonstration

Life should be a little nuts or else it’s just a bunch of Thursdays strung together—Kevin Costner as Beau Burroughs in “Rumor has it”

You’re just a wanker whipping up fear —Irish President Michael D. Higgins to a tea party radio announcer

Being president doesn’t change who you are; it reveals who you are—Michelle Obama

Sports malaprops

Naked pair fed LSD gummy worm to dog

Owners of a Noah's Ark replica file a lawsuit over rain damage

In Southcentral Alaska earthquake, damage originated in the ground, engineers say

A headline that could only be written in Alaska: At state cross country, Glacier Bears and Grizzlies sweep, Lynx repeat, Wolverines make history — and a black bear crosses the trail

Man kills self before shooting wife and daughter

Alabama governor candidate caught in lesbian sperm donation scandal

Sister hits moose on way to visit sister who hit moose.

Man caught driving stolen car filled with radioactive uranium, rattlesnake, whiskey

Man loses his testicles after attempting to smoke weed through a SCUBA tank

Church Mutual Insurance won't cover Church's flood damage because it's 'an act of God'

Homicide victims rarely talk to police

Meerkat Expert Attacked Monkey Handler Over Love Affair with Llama Keeper

GOP congressman opposes gun control because gay marriage leads to bestiality

Owner of killer bear chokes to death on sex toy

Support for legalizing pot hits all-time high

Give me all your money or my penguin will explode

How zombie worms have sex in whale bones

Crocodile steals zoo worker's lawn mower

Woman shot by oven while trying to cook waffles

Nude beach blowjob jet ski fight leads to wife's death

Woman stabs husband with squirrel for not buying beer Christmas Eve

GOPer files complaint against Democrat for telling the truth about Big Lie social posts

Man shot dead on Syracuse Street for 2nd time in 2 days

Alaska woman punches bear in face, saves dog

Johnny Rotten suffers flea bite on his penis after rescuing squirrel