Singing in the Rain – in Alaska – in January

What's wrong with this picture? Could it be bare ground in the garden? Or
the thermometer past top dead center? Or the puddle of water farther on.
Or the fact this is January in Alaska?

During the great sleeper movie Galaxy Quest, one of the characters looks at a rather bizarre scene and says, "oh, that's just not right." That's exactly what I have been thinking as I look out my windows these days.

It is winter in Alaska, January in fact, which is usually the coldest month. So, what's not right? What's not right is my yard is one solid sheet of ice with open pools of water here and there in the depressions. Rain is falling and the temperature is 45, ABOVE, and has been for several days and is expected to stay that way at least through the week. Most of the snow has melted away in the warmth and rain and there's minor flooding along the road out front.

Indoors, I have to deal with muddy footprints when the dog comes back, mud, IN JANUARY. I wasn't prepared for that and now regret the decision to allow him to hang out on the couch. I keep getting this bizarre vision of trying to jam the couch into the washing machine.  So, officer how did this happen?  "Well it looks like the victim was trying to cram his couch into the washer and when it wouldn't go he tried to break it apart with a sledgehammer. It looks like it broke in half, and the bigger half fell on him and that's how we found him, followed the muddy footprints to the laundry room and there he was sprawled out on the floor with water running out of the washer and the couch on top of him with the dog chewing the handle of a sledge hammer." 

Then too, I just figured out the dog is big enough if he stands on his hind legs he can put his front paws on my shoulders. You know how I know? There are muddy paw prints that high on the door where he scratches to let me know he wants to come in.

All winter long the snowplow driver has taken, I assume, perverse pleasure leaving a berm across the end of my driveway at odd hours of the day, like after it turns dark on a day when I have given the driveway a good snow blowing. That berm compresses and freezes overnight and I have a mountain to climb in the next day if I want to go anywhere. I have yet to see him go by once when I could have gotten out there with the blower to take that berm down before it hardens. Three different times I have taken a heavy ice chipper and shovel out there to break it down, but I have spent more days with the berm than without it. Today with the thaw and the rain I figured it might be soft enough that I could give it a good go and I chipped and shoveled through about three levels until I hit about six inches of solid ice at the bottom.  I can see gravel through it, but nothing short of a jackhammer is going to take it down any farther. Now I am hoping rain over the next couple of days will soften that up and I might be able to get the rest of it. Of course, there's a depression at that end of the driveway and what I am actually doing is creating a small lake that will freeze over as soon as the cold comes back and that will be there for the rest of the winter.

Another difficulty in this crap shoot of a winter is the rest of the driveway. When I run over it with the snowblower I leave a layer so next time through, the diggers won't hit gravel. When that leftover snow melts and I drive over it, or through it, the tires leave huge ruts which then freeze and then I have those for the rest of the winter also. The neighbors must have thought I was nuts two days ago when I took the snowblower and ran through that slush a few times trying to break down the sides of the ruts and level things as much as I could.

Picked this up off Facebook today.

So here we sit in what looks like early spring, snowmachines rusting in the yard, an unattended cabin waiting in the woods and unused firewood seasoning out in piles. And get this, there are bugs flying around, BUGS!

Meanwhile, the governor of New York has declared an emergency because of winter weather. Another governor declared one even before the storm came. What is the matter with those people? Growing up near Buffalo I lived through several huge lake-effect snowstorms and no one ever declared an emergency. We just dealt with it and moved on. Maybe those doomsayers who say Americans are getting soft are right. I know I feel like I am getting soft sitting indoors watching rain … in Alaska … in January.