It's the Monday before Christmas and all across the TV
there are ads that offend anyone who can see.
Yes, that time of year again and Madison Avenue has been
hard at it, taking traditional Christmas carols and using them to sell us stuff we don't really need.
To begin with, this was the first year I can remember seeing
Christmas items on display in stores during September. People complain it
starts earlier every year, but September? Almost four months early? Seriously? I love the joke that
goes: "The thing I don't like about this war on Christmas is that it
starts earlier every year."
Once again Kmart wins the top of the post video position
with another tasteless ad. Last year it was "Jingle Balls." This
year is not quite so bad, but fat guys beating their bellies like bass drums to
"Jingle Bells" to sell underwear is pretty darned close.
But, back to those early ads. How about the guy pitching a
spray sealant, one of those miracle sprays that fix everything, as the perfect gift
for everyone on your list. Tell that to your wife. On top of that it first
showed up around Oct. 3. By Oct. 8 there were promotions for future broadcasts
of Christmas movies to the tune of "It's Beginning to Look a Lot like
Christmas." Hey guys, on October 8 it doesn't look anything like
Christmas.
This one stretches the Christmas theme but it still fits the
bill nicely. Somebody advertised that Black Friday begins on Wednesday this
year, and sadly it probably worked. Just for the record, I have never bought
anything on Black Friday – I don't even like that name, black is such a
negative image and who decided that? – except maybe cigarettes back when I
smoked. I also saw someone posted the Seven Days of Black Friday, but there was
no way I was going to find out what they were.
One I found extremely offensive – and sadly it was for a
product close to my heart, Alaska seafood – was "Angels We Have Heard on
High" used to sell dead fish.
Then there was the ad that began with an image of a room and
door decorated festively (is that redundant?) with an announcer in loud voice declaring, "Fear not
for we bring good tidings of great joy …" The door bursts open and
professional wrestlers explode into the room while the announcer tells us World
Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) will broadcast marathons of wrestling matches.
And while we are on sports (if pro wrestling can be counted
as a sport) some soccer organization put up an ad promoting attendance at
upcoming matches with the song, "Oh, Come All Ye Faithful."
I guess we can be thankful Pampers finally gave up selling diapers to "Silent Night," and let it go at that. I TAKE THAT BACK! PAMPERS AD USING "SILENT NIGHT" seen Dec. 26.
And, just so this post doesn't end on a totally negative
note, here is a song new this year from Pentatonix, the group that brought us
"Little Drummer Boy" last year.
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