One path to life on the street

This is going to take some explaining. First all this is fiction, keep that in mind. Secondly it is written in instant-messaging format keeping all the inherent typos, misspellings and syntax intact. That is to preserve the story in a way it occurred. I know that makes it difficult to read, but in the long run it helps understand the two people involved. This is a small part of a much longer project. 
At the time of this conversation she is living in a group home for vulnerable women so at least we don’t have to decipher the language she uses when she’s high. She ran away from an abusive home when she was 16 and ended up on the street working occasionally as a prostitute to support a meth addiction. I am posting this because in the past week I have been posting about another friend who’s dealing with this kind of world as she had to have renters evicted from a property she owned, people much like the young woman on one side of this conversation. 
In the eviction process we saw some insight into a young man’s relationship or non relationship with his father, an insight that raised more questions than it answered. But, the question most frequently asked was "How can people live like this?" This conversation describes how the runaway woman I know described her original home life and what eventually pushed her out and led her into a situation similar to the one we are dealing with in the eviction.

Bet Cee: i think my parents were just young

Bet Cee: and poor

Bet Cee: and hot tempereed

Bet Cee: and didn't necesarily like each other

Bet Cee: or me

whaleman11: a recipe for disaster.

Bet Cee: lol right

whaleman11: how old were they when you were born?

Bet Cee: 21 and 22 i think...

Bet Cee: babies

whaleman11: for sure

whaleman11: i think it takes people longer to grow up than it did 100 years ago

Bet Cee: i think youre very right

whaleman11: but are still expected to be mature at that age

Bet Cee: ive spent a lot of time thinking about it

Bet Cee: and i thnk youre right

Bet Cee: not everyone does well forced into a situation they dont wnt to be in

whaleman11: yes that too

whaleman11: was it sort of an accidental pregnancy or do you know?

Bet Cee: totallly accidental

whaleman11: probably didn't help the situation any

whaleman11: but people have to accept the responsibility of their actions

Bet Cee: ya..

Bet Cee: how do you feel about abortion?

whaleman11: like a lot of  things, i can see both sides of the argument.  I can also see that it is a woman's choice and none of government's business

Bet Cee: i think its a womans choice too

whaleman11: while i can see the life argument, i can also see times when abortion is the best choice

Bet Cee: and i thikn i would have been an excellent abortion candidate

whaleman11: that's a sad thing tohave to say

Bet Cee: no...not really sad

Bet Cee: true I could literally look my Dad in the face and tell him Ishould have been an abortion … he would tell me I'm right

whaleman11: still the feeling of not being wanted

Bet Cee: haha i wasnt

Bet Cee: i dont mean like...i dont deserve life

Bet Cee: i mean more...

whaleman11: and that might have affected your whole life

Bet Cee: if you think about it objetively

whaleman11: yes i see what you are saying

Bet Cee: right

Bet Cee: im all for womans choice

whaleman11: as it should be

Bet Cee: anyway..i was just wondering

whaleman11: how i felt about it?

Bet Cee: ya

whaleman11: how i feel about it, is if it ever came up in my life i would  think about it long and hard as I did in the past and hope we both came to the same conclusion, knowing if we didn't it would be her vhoice

whaleman11: choice

whaleman11: and certainly anyone else's is their issue not mine

Bet Cee: cool

whaleman11: got that settled?

Bet Cee: ya

whaleman11: i am glad hyou parents didn't get one

whaleman11: did your father ever molest you?

whaleman11: i think you told me once he didn't but i forget

Bet Cee: woah

Bet Cee: no

whaleman11: glad to hear that

Bet Cee: me 2

whaleman11: yes you for sure more than me

whaleman11: i think i told you once on here about afriend whose father began raping her at the age of 9

Bet Cee: ya..

Bet Cee: how is she doing?

whaleman11: i don't know

whaleman11: haven't heard from her since early fall

whaleman11: she had just come out of rehab  and was living with her son and girlfriend

Bet Cee: sounds like shes doing well then

whaleman11: well considering the silence, i hope so

whaleman11: i hope she hasn't relapsed

Bet Cee: ill hope the best for her too

whaleman11: good

whaleman11: it's funnyu

whaleman11: i won't hear from her for months

whaleman11: and one day i will have these strong feelings and thoughts abouther

whaleman11: and she contacts me within a week

Bet Cee: haha thats pretty cool

whaleman11: some kind of connection

Bet Cee: i love people like that

whaleman11: me too

Bet Cee: do you think that because my father didnt molest me that it wasnt that bad and i should have stuck it out?

whaleman11: i don't know enough to make that judgment

whaleman11: nor would i

whaleman11: what matters is how you perceived what was going on

whaleman11: and iff he was cruel and beating you,  you had good enough reason without adding molestation onto it

Bet Cee: k..

whaleman11: does that sound right ot you?

Bet Cee: wut

whaleman11: what i just said

Bet Cee: ya its fine

whaleman11: anyway

whaleman11: i am sure your reasons were good

whaleman11: or at least justified

Bet Cee: kk

Bet Cee: im not sure NOW that leaving was good

Bet Cee: but i was very sure then that leaving was good

whaleman11: on that list of basic truths on my blog there is one that says

whaleman11: all decisions are based on unsufficient data

whaleman11: sometimes you jsut have to do what feels right at the time

whaleman11: i think if you hadn'r run, you might be better off today

whaleman11: but can't we be sure

whaleman11: do you think it was possible he could really have hurt you?

Bet Cee: no doubt yes

whaleman11: did you ever have to get treatment, go to the hospital?

Bet Cee: i told you

Bet Cee: he broke his knuckles punchning the door

Bet Cee: next to my face

whaleman11: yeah

whaleman11: did he ever hit yhou like that?

Bet Cee: yes

Bet Cee: i dont care how drunk you get

Bet Cee: your stillresponsbile for your own actions

whaleman11: yes you are

whaleman11: and a lot of this hapened when he was drunk?

whaleman11: did yo ever go to the hospital?

Bet Cee: i think he was an alcholoic

Bet Cee: but he never went to meetings or anything...

Bet Cee: thats just like my ownopinin

Bet Cee: no

whaleman11: yeah  i get it,   no to hospital?

Bet Cee: well

Bet Cee: i should rephrase

whaleman11: how about your mother, did she drink with him?

Bet Cee: not for injuries that 'happened in the home'

whaleman11: for what then?

Bet Cee: it was like 'oh you hurt yourself in basketball and we didnt go until later that night'

whaleman11: ok now confused

whaleman11: he hurt you but they blamed it on basketball?

Bet Cee: no..

Bet Cee: so if you go to the hospital

Bet Cee: they ALWAYS ask what happened

whaleman11: yes

Bet Cee: so i was never there for an inury that happnee din the home

Bet Cee: it was always something that happened earlier

Bet Cee: like basketball game

whaleman11: oh

whaleman11: still not sure what you are saying

Bet Cee: ugh nvm

Bet Cee: no my  mom didnt drink

whaleman11: but she didn't defend you?

Bet Cee: my parents

Bet Cee: were

Bet Cee: are

Bet Cee: ?

Bet Cee: can i say are?

Bet Cee: im gonna say are

Bet Cee: my parents are under some delusion

Bet Cee: that they have to protect and back each other up on everything

Bet Cee: or they are being like...

Bet Cee: unfaithful

whaleman11: oh   so that make you the common enemy

Bet Cee: so..

Bet Cee: EXACTLY!

Bet Cee: fucking exactly

Bet Cee: and what else it does

whaleman11: ugh

Bet Cee: is if mom tried to liike...say..'well honey..it will be ok, let it go this time'

Bet Cee: then hed say that i was turning my mom against him

Bet Cee: and then things just got worse

Bet Cee: it was fucked up

whaleman11: i can see it

whaleman11: and how often would something like that happen

Bet Cee: it was ALWAYS tense

Bet Cee: but like my dad losing it?

Bet Cee: all weekend

Bet Cee: and maybe once or twice on the weekday

whaleman11: what would be a happy time at home for you?

Bet Cee: hanging out with grandparents OUTSIDE of my house

Bet Cee: that was fucking fantastic

Bet Cee: they were awesome

Bet Cee: probobly because grandkids can do no wrong

Bet Cee: they were cool

Bet Cee: they had hobbies

Bet Cee: and we went and did like activities

whaleman11: are these your mothers or father's parents?

Bet Cee: both...but my dads set was cooliest

whaleman11: were they aware of what was going on?

Bet Cee: but like...

Bet Cee: howd it go..

Bet Cee: hmm..

Bet Cee: can you know without actually knowing?

Bet Cee: that kinda thing

Bet Cee: i thikn they knew my dad drank

whaleman11: yes   or knowing and not wanting to know

Bet Cee: i think they knew he had a short temper

Bet Cee: they just didnt put it all togehter

Bet Cee: right but then..

Bet Cee: im trying to remember like the order

Bet Cee: things at home got worse...

Bet Cee: uncle my dads best friend...committed suicide

Bet Cee: grandpa died...

Bet Cee: things at home got worse

Bet Cee: boyfriend and i broke up

Bet Cee: i left

whaleman11: i am jsut shakingmy head here

whaleman11: it seems like somebody could have stopped it

Bet Cee: my dad needed help

Bet Cee: but no one saw it i guess

whaleman11: well you needed help too

Bet Cee: you know what i mean...

Bet Cee: he was hurting

Bet Cee: and i dont think he knew how to handle it

Bet Cee: and things just keep getting harder

whaleman11: for him and for you

Bet Cee: and my mom too i gues

Bet Cee: although..

Bet Cee: out of everyone

Bet Cee: i hat her

Bet Cee: not him

Bet Cee: i hate her

Bet Cee: she should have seen what was going on

Bet Cee: and she should have gotten involved

Bet Cee: and she should have gotten him help

Bet Cee: and she should have protected me

whaleman11: i can see that

Bet Cee: instead

Bet Cee: she turned the other way

Bet Cee: and helped him beat the shit out of me

Bet Cee: fuck her

Bet Cee: selfish woman

whaleman11: or afraid

Bet Cee: they fought bad too

Bet Cee: thats the fucked up part

Bet Cee: ugh...

Bet Cee: its complicated

Bet Cee: she wasnt afraid of him

Bet Cee: she was afraid to lose him

whaleman11: yea itis never simple

whaleman11: is she pretty?  thin? heavy? tall ? short?

Bet Cee: i think she used to be pretty

Bet Cee: but shes heavy

Bet Cee: and tall

whaleman11: just curious

whaleman11: what about your dad,   big man?

Bet Cee: like strong

Bet Cee: not like fat

whaleman11: but a big guy?

Bet Cee: ya

whaleman11: reason i ask is it seems a lot of men who beat up women are little guys

Bet Cee: interesting....

Bet Cee: i got it

whaleman11: it just sounds like an intolerable situation

whaleman11: with no way out

Bet Cee: so i made a way out

whaleman11: without much planning

whaleman11: but you did get away from it

Bet Cee: errr

whaleman11: and i bet to them it was all your fault

Bet Cee: right

Bet Cee: i duno...

Bet Cee: like yes

Bet Cee: but i duno how much of it was my fault and how much of it wasnt

whaleman11: some days I just want to put my arms around you and protect you

whaleman11: ok now here is something to think about and mybe why the psychologist is digging

whaleman11: at the age this was happneeing maybe you did agitate some of it

whaleman11: but from birth your parents created the atmospher in which it all grew

whaleman11: their failures as parents earlier led to greater failures later but later, you could see it and at times reblel

whaleman11: and when you gorw up in a home like that, you have no way of knowing itis not nromal

whaleman11: the way it is everywhere

Bet Cee: ya...

Bet Cee: i could tolerate it until my uncle deied

whaleman11: and that's when it  really got worse?

Bet Cee: ya

whaleman11: how long was that before you took off

Bet Cee: maybe like little more than 6 months

whaleman11: ohhh taht soon

whaleman11: i pictured a year or two

Bet Cee: omg no

whaleman11: and you were a junior in high school

whaleman11: ?

Bet Cee: ya

Bet Cee: i just think too many things happened to fast

whaleman11: sounds like it

whaleman11: iwould like to talk sometime about that first night or two

Bet Cee: when i left?

whaleman11: yes

Bet Cee: lol ok

Bet Cee: parents...cant live with them and cant live withoutt hem

whaleman11: lol for sure

Bet Cee: and there isnt much to say about the first few nights

whaleman11: well like where did you stay? what did you eat, how didyou get out of town, did youleave right a way

Bet Cee: did i say too much?

Bet Cee: you got quiet

Bet Cee: that makes me nervous...

whaleman11: did you have a destination

whaleman11: lol don't let it   you stop and think sometimes too

Bet Cee: k...

Bet Cee: what r u thinking about

whaleman11: but we can talk about this some other time

whaleman11: don't let my silence make you nervous

whaleman11: sometimes you go quiet while you think too

whaleman11: making more sense?

Bet Cee: ya

whaleman11: ok good

whaleman11: and sorry  hunger isovertaking me

whaleman11: not to mention yawns

Bet Cee: oh no!

Bet Cee: its too early

Bet Cee: i am putting you to sleep!

Bet Cee: lol thats terrible

Bet Cee: its like i put you through family videos

Bet Cee: lol

Bet Cee: and now you have to politely smile

whaleman11: haha if i see ONE more brthday cake i am going too scream

Bet Cee: birthdday cake?

whaleman11: in the videos

Bet Cee: k...

whaleman11: supposed to be funny

whaleman11: guess it wasn't

whaleman11: i tried

Bet Cee: you are so good

Bet Cee: lol

Bet Cee: dinner time?

whaleman11: what the heck makes you say tht?

whaleman11: good not dinner

Bet Cee: lol

Bet Cee: youre just a good guy

Bet Cee: thats all

whaleman11: thank you

whaleman11: haven't been called that much in my life

Bet Cee: really?

whaleman11: really

Bet Cee: well...you are

whaleman11: thank you

whaleman11: again

Bet Cee: i like talking to you

whaleman11: i enjoy it too Betsy

Bet Cee: you make me feel safe

whaleman11: i want to do that and i want to maky you feel loved too

Bet Cee: that makes me uncomfy

whaleman11: more than that, I want you to BE safe

Bet Cee: but we can talk about that anothertime

Bet Cee: im safe here...

whaleman11: yes you are

whaleman11: iand i have felt so good about that all year

whaleman11: i don't have to leave you at night and wonder if you will be there in the morning

Bet Cee: hahah ur probobly the first person who has ever wondered about that

Bet Cee: and ya its pretty cool to not have to spend all dayworrying where im gonna be that night

-->

One layer in the saga of a trashed house

Busted

Another descent into that methamphetamine mind

Out of the haze of drugs, a day of optimism

Conversation with a young prostitute

Desperately seeking Kitty

I've GtG