A bittersweet anniversary

 I am at the cabin in the woods for the winter again and I woke up today thinking about you. I think of you often but this seemed different. Later when I realized the date is January 31 I realized why. Today marks two years since you've been gone. It seems much longer. I can only hope you are alive and doing well. I do miss you.
Last summer I got into a zone with our book and wrote steadily for more than two months. It got to more than 800 pages and with that I got discouraged, because I wonder who would read, let alone publish a book that long, espcially considering that at best I was a little more than halfway through.
What got me going was coming up with a subplot to tie things together and also give the whole thing a more fictional look, to respect your privacy. In the subplot the old man in the conversations dies and his son discovers the unfinished manuscript as he is going through the old man's stuff and now the story is from his point of view in reading the conversations. The son has a sister whose daughter ran away from an abusive father much like you did and gets in drug trouble with the law and comes home detoxing. Eventually she learns her uncle is reading this story and he enlists her to help him understand and perhaps finish the book. There's a lot more but that gives you the basic idea. Anyway I am waiting for the impulse to pick it up again and finish it and then at least as a friend once said I will have a pile of paper. From there i can figure out how to make it an acceptable length.
It has been at times tormenting to live through our relationship and at times wonderful. We did have some good times. I watched "The Hours" the other night. I believe that was the last movie we intended to watch together.
That's about all that's going on here besides cutting firewood. I miss you and I wish you would at least let me know you are alive. If you don't want to, I do hope you're well and thriving, you deserve that.
Love …