The last screwdriver

     All right, let's start this one with a rhetorical question. If you are setting up a new tool box, what's the first tool you buy? People will have different responses but I bet everyone's top five includes screwdrivers. I mean doing any kind of manual work how long can you go without a screwdriver?
     Given that, I am 77 years old. How many tools have I bought and how many tool kits have I built in my lifetime?
    It's easier to list what I have now. Just here at the house I have a sizable collection of mechanics'  tools and another large box stocked with carpenters' tools. Along with those I have a well-supplied tool bag I carry on the snowmachine and on the four-wheeler. There's also another bag filled with just tools and some supplies for electrical work and another for plumbing. Out at the East Pole I have another box of carpenter tools and another small one of mechanics' tools (small because any time I am there I always have that bag I carry on the machines), all that plus a kitchen junk drawer filled with the kinds of tools you use on a fairly regular basis inside the house.
     So yesterday I was changing the chain on a chainsaw. Now, when you buy a chainsaw it usually comes with a multi-tool — spark plug wrench with two sizes that also serves and a handle one one end and a flathead screwdriver on the other. Once I had the chain on the bar and the bar settled on the head, there's a screw you turn to adjust the tension of the chain on the bar. On this particular machine the screw is tucked tightly between the bar and the engine housing which makes using the multi-tool difficult because of that handle that makes up the spark plug wrenches. So I went looking for a screwdriver, a plain, regular-size flathead screwdriver, one of the first things you buy when you are setting up a tool box.
     You know what? I couldn't find one. Not in my mechanics' box, not in my carpenters' box, not in the bag I carry on the machines, and not lying around the house anywhere. I have huge ones; I have tiny ones for working on my glasses; I have a ton of Phillips screwdrivers; I have torx screwdrivers; I even have Roberts screwdrivers; but is there one normal flathead screwdriver in this house.? Nope.
     So, with little else to do I headed for Lowe's. determined to buy as many as a dozen of them and place them in strategic places around my life. You know the drill: You buy half a dozen of something and within two weeks you lose or break five of them and that sixth one lasts you a year or more. With great anticipation I located a wall display of screwdrivers and wound my way past the maze of shelves until I stood in front of it. At first I gave it a cursory look noting a number of empty spaces.
On second scan I looked more closely.
     Now here is something you need to know before we go any further. I am a tool snob. I buy the expensive reliable brands rather than the cheap ones. As testament to that I own several tools I bought as a teenager including a quarter-inch socket wrench set my girlfriend gave me on my 21st birthday. Maybe I should drop my prejudices when it comes to things like screwdrivers that disappear so easily.
     When my casual scan failed to locate what I was looking for, and I finally looked closely, I found exactly two, count them, two, regular flathead screwdrivers of a brand I favor. Two. Apparently I am not the only one whose screwdrivers disappear like half a pair of socks. Quite disappointed, I looked around suspiciously for any competitors for them and then grabbed the last two screwdrivers, threw them in this huge shopping basket I was carrying and headed for the checkout, quite disappointed not to have a dozen of them. Overall I had driven round trip 50 miles to buy two screwdrivers, one of which will probably disappear in the next couple of weeks.
    On the way I thought of a permanent fix. I usually make strict lists for food shopping. I never include milk because I go through it so quickly,  so any time I am in that store, I buy a gallon of milk along with whatever else is on my list. You'd think I would over-buy, but I have never had any milk spoil. So-o-o-o-o-o screwdrivers won't be on my lists for the hardware store. I will simply buy one every time I go there. Fait accompli!

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