Originality

All right. It is or should be the goal of every artist to be original. How many actually succeed? The word derivative probably wouldn't exist, at least in that context, if many did. For a writer to be original, well if you think you are, don't read Shakespeare, because just about everything written about since, was written by him first.

My father once told me there were only 39 basic plots. A few years later I figured that one out: That's how many shows there were in a television season at the time. Does that mean now there are only 20 plots? If it is indeed finite, I would say it is the number of plays Shakespeare wrote, whatever that number is. But, of course it is infinite, not challenged much these days, but infinite nonetheless. I recall once saying something original. We had had a volcano eruption. I was staying with friend and for a reason I cannot recall at the moment I had my huge Weber barbecue grill with me. I looked out the window and said to my friend, " Maybe I had better go out there and clear the volcano ash off my grill." Thinking about it, I doubt anybody else in the world had ever said that. Original, I believe.

With that in mind, now I am wondering if this is original. In many, many sitcoms, the main guy has a sidekick who is a little off, maybe a slob, maybe stupid, maybe conniving. Think Maynard G. Krebs, think Joey, there are many. So in the slob sort of sidekick forma, tonight I was talking with my niece on line about my daughter's wedding plans and having some frozen fried chicken that I managed to overcook so the breading was crispy. It was the Banquet variety which my son and I call mystery chicken because many of the pieces don't look like they came from any chicken we have ever seen.

So here I am alone in my little bachelor house, chatting online, nibbling on mystery chicken and watching a "Bones" rerun on TV. What I wasn't watching was where all the little crispy crumbs of chicken were falling. Now most people would probably use a napkin to clean them up, right? I DID have a napkin in my lap but it didn't do much good. What does the slobby sidekick do? Not sure. What I did was reach for my Dyson industrial grade hand vacuum cleaner. End of problem, though I probably could have used a different accessory that wouldn't have sucked my shirt in several times. This might be original. I am pretty sure Shakespeare didn't write about it, although I will bet that some king or Roman in his writing did something unusual to rid himself of food residue. It does seem an effective way to deal with the problem though I am pretty sure I will not be taking the Dyson to my daughter's wedding dinner. (Although the slob sidekick in the sitcom might... it would be the kicker at the end at the main guy's wedding, the last thing you see before the fadeout is him pulling out his trusty Dyson to pick up a spill on the floor, or table favors, or the groom's tie, or picking the wallet out of a rich uncle's pocket, or...)

So, for now, at the very least I am claiming originality. Now the work begins to expand it into an entirely new plot. Believe me, this is not a breath-holding situation.

Addendum: This is embarrassing. For fun I looked it up. Shakespeare wrote 38 plays that survive. Could my father have been right? Just one number off? I am sticking with the number of shows in a TV season. Or, and this might be intriguing, is there one plot out there Shakespeare didn't write? Like maybe that thirtieth song of Robert Johnson's?