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Monday, April 10, 2017

Milo Minderbinder would be so proud


Hello?
Hello, Bashar this is Don.
Don? Don who?
Trump, Donald Trump, president for all, you know.
Oh that Don, hello, what's on your mind?
Well Bashar, don't worry this isn't an official call.
Does that matter or change anything?
Well, yes, we think it does anyway.
What is it then?
It's business, Bashar. We'd like to opportunity to bid on repairs at the Hom airport.
The Hom airport? There's nothing wrong with our Hom airport.
That's what we need to talk about it, Bashar.
We have two ships offshore there looking for somewhere to test their Tomahawk missiles.
Is that a threat, Don?
No threat, a business deal and you know I make good deals, the best deals in fact I wrote a book about it, a best seller.
So what's the deal?
It's the best deal, believe me. We drop a few missiles on the Hom airfield. Then you give Trump Properties the contract to rebuild the place. There's be a nice piece of change, a big piece of change, that comes right back to you, believe me. You could buy more of that gas you like to spread.
We could do that? How much for me? What about Vladimir?
We've talked with Vladimir about it and he already has his plant preparing to increase gas production waiting for your order, You see? Winners all around.
I suppose it would give a boost to your poll numbers too,  hey?
That's one benefit.
Well, good luck with that. Give me some time to move my planes off the field.
Done.
USS Porter, stand by for the president.
………
Then,
Hello?
Mr. Kim, this is Don …
You sending warships here!
It's all part of a business deal, a good business deal, the best business deal, winners all around. Interested?

AN EXPLANATION: I was  hoping I wouldn't have to do this but, sigh, here goes. Milo Minderbinder was a character in Joseph Heller's classic novel "Catch 22." In order to satisfy the conditions of a complicated business deal involving among other things Swiss chocolate and Egyptian cotton he engineered an air strike on the U.S. airfield where he and the rest of the characters in the book were stationed during World War II.

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