Siri, we need to talk

A screen grab from the Ring camera. That's me in the center toward the top, I think trying to dig out my phone.

A bright sunny day today and time to get out in the yard and do something. I suited up including all the new supports I have to wear on my elbows and shoulder and headed out. Then I decided to try something new and I plugged my earbuds into the iPhone and started a playlist. Ever so cool, though if any neighbors were in earshot they probably wondered what fool was singing Lady Gaga songs out loud in the neighborhood.
     First I watered the one raised garden where I planted potatoes. I didn't feel much like gardening this year so I convinced myself it was good to leave all the other ones fallow for a year to regenerate. From way back in my teens I think I knew farmers did this as they rotated crops.
     That done I went about organizing the wood piles. With all the blowdowns, I have some newer wood on top of older and I started flipping them, taking out the old stuff, stacking the new and then stacking the old on top. That was fun for a while but there is more to do.
    All the while, every so often the music would drop to barely a whisper for a few seconds. I kept checking the connection and the screen and everything seemed all right, but a mystery. Then I realized every time I walked around and activated the motion detecting security light, which depends on WiFi to communicate, it dimmed the music as it sent its message. Ain't technology grand?
     Anyway when I gave up on the wood pile for a while, I thought it would be a good day to take the four-wheeler and the trailer down the street to a pile of compost/straw-manure my neighbors leave out for the taking. They raise chickens and alpacas so it's a good fertilizing mix. My thought was to spread it on those fallow raised beds and let it soak in for a year. Mind you it seems like I have shoveled my share of manure over the years from Western New York dairy farms to Alaska dog lots and I had to laugh, here I was at my advanced age doing it again. But this time I had music.
     A couple of times the phone fell out of my shirt pocket so I jammed it into a deep pants pocket. Another thing you have to love Carhartts for — deep pockets.
    A few minutes later the music stopped and I heard some sort of ringing from the phone. I was alone and anticipating how slow and difficult extracting the phone from that deep pocket I said "oh fuck."
     Then I heard a voice coming from may pocket say "you don't have to talk to me like that." I assumed I had opened the connection with whoever was calling me and swore again.
     But, when I finally dragged the phone out it was only a message from Siri which printed out on my screen read, "There is no reason for language like that." Good grief, after a lifetime of cursing, my phone tells me to stop?
     And that's why Siri and I need to have a good long talk if we are ever to get along. I can't just turn it off either because for some reason Siri needs to be activated for my phone to communicate with my truck. I think it is a safety measure making you speak your desires rather than get distracted pushing buttons. I want to tell them it's not that safe if you are screaming in blind anger at your vehicle, either. I hope Siri and I can work this out.