Tuesday, April 23, 2013

You'll never eat anything again


A couple of years ago I went through a complete cardio exam.  Afterward there was an appointment for a discussion of results.  To this day I have no idea what the credential of the woman I spoke with was.  To begin with she told me nothing of the results of my testing.  After advocating the mantra of diet and exercise, the consultation consisted of her asking me questions mostly analyzing my diet.  At the end of it, she told me essentially nothing I eat regularly is healthy except  orange juice.  
This year's solution: more vegetables, fewer flowers.  In front spinach,
middle snow peas and the big ones in back are beans.  I may have
started them a little early, given the garden soil is still frozen solid.

At the time a large part of my diet consisted of a Subway (eat fresh) sandwich for lunch at work every day, a sandwich loaded down with vegetables.  The vegetables didn't matter to this woman.  It was the three thinly sliced pieces of processed turkey that were bad for me.  So, I left there having no clue what the tests had uncovered but unsure what to do about a diet in which nothing but orange juice was good for me.

Fast forward to my next appointment with my regular doctor.  He asked how things had gone and I told him about the analysis of my diet, ending with the one healthy ingredient, that orange juice.  He hesitated there,  made a note, looked at me and said, "Well, you know, orange juice has a lot of sugar in it."  Oh, great, now nothing to cling to.

Fast forward to a more recent visit.  The office I go to seems to cycle through dispensing nurses on a regular basis.  Often that is who I see rather than the doctor.  I don't mind that; I have dealt with them in smaller clinics around the state and for the most part have found them to be competent.  A new one  examined me during this most recent visit.

Again the subject of diet came up.  I had been reading about the various fads of danger and health that circulate regularly through the health media. Mostly what these people want me to eat are fresh vegetables.  But reading about what goes into growing those and the pesticides used in that effort would scare a Syrian watching a government airplane flying overhead.  You are supposed to wash all vegetables but one article I read said with most thin-skinned vegetables, the pesticides have penetrated into the meat of the plant and can't be washed off.  Hormones and other additives to meat, genetically modified plants and animals all increase the dangers in the diet, not to mention the plastic containers they are packed into.  So, I looked at her after this discussion, none of which she disagreed with, and asked her what a guy is supposed to do; her answer was, "well, you just have to take your chances."

So, today I ran across a facebook site dedicated to safe diets.  Read it and you will never eat anything again except honey and pure chocolate.  I wonder what these doctors and nutritionists would say about that.  Here is the facebook page  Every picture tells a story.

One item in the collection caught my eye especially.  In one of my past creative daydreams years ago it hit me that I had no blue in my diet.  That led to wondering if color had anything to do with nutrition.  Just to be sure,  I started eating more blueberries (in the form of pie, so probably not to great benefit) to get something blue in my diet.

Even I knew it was an outlandish idea, but one of those fun things you think about.  So today I learned there are benefits to adding color to your regular food rotation.  In the middle of the list were blue and purple, foods that contain flavonoids which help with vitamin C in your cells and can boost immunity, help prevent damage from free radicals which are rogue molecules that can alter DNA.  The anthocyanins may be anti-inflammatorries thus protecting against heart disease and stroke.  Of course this probably is all dependent on being able to wash off the insecticides.

I won't go into all the other colors.  Here is the particular link on that site for the story of color benefits in various foods. The benefits of eating colors

This is the kind of solution I am thinking about.
Meanwhile, I am preparing a lunch of a salad including carrots, yellow peppers, a main course of squash  cooked with tomatoes and spinach (uh oh a thin-skinned vegetable) and a dessert of blueberries and cantaloupe.  I wonder if beef counts as red.

Maybe here is a better solution though one more difficult.  There is a movement under way to replace lawns with small gardens.  Maybe it is time in life to become a gentleman farmer and start raising my own crops.  What an excuse to buy a nice small tractor too. Not sure how the owner of this land would go for turning it into a farm.

And, oh boy, you ought to see the chemicals in the "organic" fertilizers available at the big box garden stores.

Later I saw an internet meme that probably has the best advice of all: "Don't eat anything that's featured in an advertising commercial."

1 comment:

  1. love this post, and it's so true, the more you research food, the less you want to eat;) we are really trying to be careful about what we eat now that we have our son to think about too. and I so agree with not eating anything that's featured in a commercial! ha

    ReplyDelete

Interesting quotations

"In the final analysis your life is only as good as the background music you dance to." – that was me

"Whether you think that you can or you think you can't, you are right." – Henry Ford

"You want to feel alive until the day you croak" – Frank Gallagher Shameless

"Smooth is good but sailing takes a brisk wind" – me

"I'm a drinker with writing problems." ~ Brendan Behan

"Religious Freedom is not about stopping persecution; it’s about being the one who gets to do it. Glory!" – Mrs. Betty Bowers, America's best Christian

It doesn't matter what you write, it only matters that you write.

"Give someone a book and they'll read all day. Teach someone to write a book and they'll spend a lifetime mired in paralyzing self doubt." – internet meme

"It's been a long time since I heard my backbone crack – Chuck Berry

“Don’t think you’re on the right road just because it’s a well-beaten path.” – JD

"I was the only person up on the hill with both racing numbers and a handicapped placard." – Kitty Delorey Fleischman, a grandmother who occasionally still races her Porsche in hill climbs.

Like most writers, I feel like a reprobate who does not deserve to live on any day that I do not write, but I also feel that four or five hours is enough to earn my stay on the planet for one more day. – anon

"Religion was invented when the first con man met the first fool." – Mark Twain

Shit happens; you just come up with a different plan. – Kitty

Your body is not a temple. It's an amusement park. – Anthony Bourdain

Never too late for a happy childhood – Berkley Breathed

A real writer doesn't just want to write, a real writer has to write. – Internet meme

"It was like the aftermath of an orgasm with the wrong partner" – David Lagercrants, "The Girl in the Spider's Web"

The non-writing writer is a monster courting insanity. – Franz Kafka

If the muse is late, start without her – Peter S. Beagle

We never comprehend how heavy the things are we insist on carrying until we set them down. jd

Substitute ‘damn’ every time you’re inclined to write ‘very;’ your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be. ~Mark Twain Actually you could do the same thing with the word "really" as in "really cold."

If you are looking for an experience that will temper your vanity, this is it. There's no one to impress when you're alone on the trap line. – Michael Carey quoting his father's journal

Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing. – Benjamin Franklin

It’s nervous work. The state you need to write in is the state that others are paying large sums of money to get rid of. – Shirley Hazzard

So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of intelligence -- Bertrand Russell

You know that I always just wanted to have a small ship to take stuff from a place that had a lot of that stuff to a place that did not have a lot of that stuff and so prosper.—Jackie Faber, “The Wake of the Lorelei Lee”

If you attack the arguer instead of the argument, you lose both

If an insurance company won’t pay for damages caused by an “act of God,” shouldn’t it then have to prove the existence of God? – I said that

I used to think getting old was about vanity—but actually it’s about losing people you love. Getting wrinkles is trivial. – Eugene O’Neill

German General to Swiss General: “You have only 500,000 men in your army; what would you do if I invaded with 1 million men?”

Swiss General: “Well, I suppose every one of my soldiers would need to fire twice.”

Writing is the only thing that when I do it, I don’t feel I should be doing something else.—Gloria Steinem

Exceed your bandwidth—sign on the wall of the maintenance shop at the West Coast/Alaska Tsunami Warning Center

One thing I do know, if you keep at it, you usually wind up getting something done.—Patricia Monaghan

Do you want to know what kind of person makes the best reporter? I’ll tell you. A borderline sociopath. Someone smart, inquisitive, stubborn, disorganized, chaotic, and in a perpetual state of simmering rage at the failings of the world.—Brett Arends

It is a very simple mind that only knows how to spell a word one way.—Andrew Jackson

3:30 is too late or too early to do anything—Rene Descartes

Everything is okay when it’s 50-below as long as everything is okay. – an Alaskan in Tom Walker’s “The Seventymile Kid”

You can have your own opinion but you can’t have your own science.—commenter arguing on a story about polar bears and global warming

He looks at three ex wives as a good start—TV police drama

Talkeetna: A friendly little drinking town with a climbing problem.—a handmade bumper sticker

“You’re either into the wall or into the show”—Marco Andretti on giving it all to qualify last at the 2011 Indy 500

Makeup is not for the faint of heart—the makeup guerrilla

“I’m going to relax in a very adult manner.”—Danica Patrick after sweating it out and qualifying half an hour before Andretti

“Asking Congress to come back is like asking a mugger to come back because he forgot your wallet.”—a roundtable participant on Fox of all places

As Republicans go further back in the conception process to define when life actually begins, I am beginning to think the eventual definition will be life begins in the beer I was drinking when I met her.—me again

Hunting is a “critical element for the long-term conservation of wood bison.”—a state department of Fish and Game official explaining why the state would not go along with a federal plan to reintroduce wood bison in Alaska because the agreement did not specifically allow hunting

Each day do something that won’t compute – anon

I can’t belive I still have to protest this shit – a sign carriend by an elderly woman at an Occupy demonstration

Many people hear voices when no one is there. Some of them are called mad and are shut up in rooms where they stared at walls all day. Others are called writers and they do pretty much the same thing. – Meg Chittenden

Life should be a little nuts or else it’s just a bunch of Thursdays strung together—Kevin Costner as Beau Burroughs in “Rumor has it”

You’re just a wanker whipping up fear —Irish President Michael D. Higgins to a tea party radio talk show host

Being president doesn’t change who you are; it reveals who you are—Michelle Obama

Things sports announcers say

"… there's a fearlessment about him …"

"He's got to have the lead if he's going to win this race."

"Kansas has always had the ability to score with the basketball."

"NFL to put computer chips in balls." Oh, that's gotta hurt.

"Now that you're in the finals you have to run the race that's going to get you on the podium."

"It's very important for both sides that they stay on their feet."

This is why you get to hate sportscasters. Kansas beats Texas for the first time since 1938. So the pundits open their segment with the question "let's talk about what went wrong." Wrong? Kansas WON a football game! That's what went RIGHT!

"I brought out the thermostat to show you how cold it is here." Points to a thermometer reading zero in Minneapolis.

"It's tough to win on the road when you turn the ball over." Oh, really? Like you can do all right if you turn the ball over playing at home?

Cliches so imbedded in sportscasters' minds they can't help themselves: "Minnesota fell from the ranks of the undefeated today." What ranks? They were the only undefeated team left.

A good one: A 5'10" player went up and caught a pass off a defensive back over six feet tall. The quote? "He's got some hops."

Best homonym of the day so far: "It's all tied. Alabama 34, Kentucky 3." Oh, Tide.

"Steve Hooker commentates on his Olympic pole vault gold medal." When "comments" just won't do.

"He's certainly capable of the top ten, maybe even higher than that."

"Atlanta is capable of doing what they're doing."

"Biyombo, one of seven kids from the Republic of Congo." In the NBA? In America? In his whole country?

"You can't come out and be aggressive but you can't come out and be unaggressive."

"They're gonna be in every game they play!"

"First you have to get two strikes on the hitter before you get the strikeout."

"The game ended in the final seconds." You have to wonder when the others ended or are they still going on?

How is a team down by one touchdown before the half "totally demoralized?"

"If they score runs they will win."

"I think the matchup is what it is"

After a play a Houston defender was on his knees, his head on the ground and his hand underneath him appeared to clutch a very sensitive part of the male anatomy. He rolled onto his back and quickly removed his hand. (Remember the old Cosby routine "you cannot touch certain parts of your body?") Finally they helped the guy to the sideline and then the replay was shown. In it the guy clearly took a hard knee between his thighs. As this was being shown, one of the announcers says, "It looks like he hurt his shoulder." The other agrees and then they both talk about how serious a shoulder injury can be. Were we watching the same game?

"Somebody is going to be the quarterback or we're going to see a new quarterback."

"If you're gonna play running back in the SEC you're gonna take hits."

"That was a playmaker making a play."

Best headlines ever

Church Mutual Insurance won't cover Church's flood damage because it's 'an act of God'

Homicide victims rarely talk to police

Meerkat Expert Attacked Monkey Handler Over Love Affair With Llama Keeper

GOP congressman opposes gun control because gay marriage leads to bestiality

Owner of killer bear chokes to death on sex toy

Support for legalizing pot hits all-time high

Give me all your money or my penguin will explode

How zombie worms have sex in whale bones

Crocodile steals zoo worker's lawn mower

Woman shot by oven while trying to cook waffles

Nude beach blowjob jet ski fight leads to wife's death

Woman stabs husband with squirrel for not buying beer Christmas Eve