Wednesday, February 24, 2021

East Pole Journal V. II, Episode 11: Inventory

Cut vertically and ready to split
As I sat on an upended chunk of a tree trunk I had cut for firewood enjoying a boketto moment
an answer came to me. I think, that’s what I do. I think. The most common question I hear about living out here amounts to “what do you do all day?” I usually say “I live” and if I have to I point out that everything takes longer in the Bush even the most mundane of household chores. If pressed I go down a list ending in I write sometimes and that usually satisfies the questioner as I have given him something of an acceptable productive effort in my existence that he can understand. As far as thinking goes, it races from subject to subject: failed loves to future loves, fantasies about the ATT girl, past failures, past successes, past arguments argued all over again; sometimes I even argue with Henry David Thoreau. I have 75 years of life to reflect on, you understand.

So there I was today in Boketto mode not thinking about much when I started taking a firewood inventory. This grew very complicated as you will see. To begin with, this chunk I sat on stood among 19 others like it that had been cut into sections ready for splitting. These from the lower trunk are so thick and heavy I can’t split them even with an 18-pound splitting maul, so nine of them already have a vertical cut in them about halfway down. That allows me to make it split with the first crack at it. But, hold on, this is the middle of the story.

First split, easy peasy with the cut 

Firewood makes up the biggest chore of the winter. When I came out I had two cords of birch stacked from last year plus three-fourths of a cord of spruce that I cut for kindling and fire starting. That gave me half a cord a month for the winter. A cord is two rows of split wood cut to wood stove lengths (18-20 inches in my case) and the stacked rows are 8 feet long and 4 feet high.

That’s where I started and once I got settled in the effort to cut firewood began. I point out what I think is the futility of a life spent cutting enough firewood for the next winter so you can be warm while you cut wood for the year after that., and on and on. 

One chunk split
           almost fills a sled
I got that spruce cut down and sectioned and then took down this huge birch I was sitting on. Then disaster. I made a mistake and accidentally took my chainsaw out. Simply imagine what 5/8-inch poly rope would do if it is chewed up by a chainsaw and strands of it crammed though moving machinery as it melts in the heat. Done. I drove more than 100 miles round trip to buy a new saw. Then. Get this, I could not get it started. And, get this: the little bit I had been able to run it, it didn’t seem to be big enough to handle the huge birch I am sitting on. Near the base the trunk is 18 to 20 inches in diameter. The saw bar is 18 inches. I had to make that drive again, in the back of my mind thinking maybe they’d let me trade it in on a bigger one, but, no, they got it running. Back home, I spent the better part of a week but still couldn’t start it. Frustrated, I went to a more local dealer who sells the same brand of saw and I went there and bought a bigger one. Got it home, and guess what, I couldn’t get this one to start either. So I took it back. This time only 30-miles round trip plus the 14 on the snowmachine.

With some advice and some demonstration from these new people I finally got it started, though not without flooding it a couple of times. I decided enough was enough dedicated last Sunday to starting both saws before I did anything else and by 1 p.m. I had them both running.


Mind you, the pressure to get firewood in for next winter had consumed my mind and actions for weeks. If I couldn’t do that it might end the adventure. I even considered bugging out, but there’s this. I have nowhere to go.

Then, with the saws running, Monday, I started in earnest and have made great progress since
.

Long way to go, even some under
the snow up toward the stump.
But, there has been other pressure, too. We have had a cold snap for almost three weeks now and temperatures constantly flirting with zero. As a result my firewood consumption increased considerably and I used up my February ration almost a week ahead of time. Normally at this time of year as most days the temperature gets up into the 20s I stoke the fire up in the morning and then let it go out over the course of the day. That’s five or six hours when I am not burning wood. Now, I was going to be able to fill up for next year but it looked seriously like I might run out this year. To top it off, that beetle-killed spruce I cut earlier still showed 16% moisture despite being dead for at least three years and would not burn. That was supposed to be my backup.

So today while I am splitting big chunks of birch and taking it to the stack, I found another half a stack of last year’s. Then I tried some more of that spruce on a going fire and darned if it didn’t flame up.

If at this point someone had come along and encountered me, he would have seen a totally satisfied man in a boketto trance with a big smile on my face. Then I had this thought: I sympathize with those folks in Texas, they really aren’t prepared for what amounts to a day in the life for an Alaskan. Still I would love to tell one of them that I just stopped working in mid-20s weather because I was sweating too much. The last thought before I stood up and began the trek pulling a sled full of split wood to the house was that solving a problem so seemingly insignificant as starting a chainsaw could change a whole outlook on life.

 

Oh, yeah. “Boketto.” It’s a Japanese word that loosely means staring off into the distance blankly with nothing on your mind. I do that a lot.


East Pole Journal

 

Saturday, February 20, 2021

Eastpole Journal V. II Episode 10: Close encounters of the moose kind

Two trails converged in the wood …
I had to go out yesterday trying still to get my chainsaw problems under control. Trail conditions
allowed quite a speed, up to 20 mph much of the time, as good as it gets around here. There’s one spot on the trail, no matter how good it is where I slow down to a crawl. If there’s ever an accident on this trail that‘s where it will happen. Going out you climb a short but steep hill out of a creek bed. A lot of people speed up there to make the hill but I slow down, because it’s a blind spot. You have no idea who could be coming toward you. I go slow and crowd the right side of the trail in hopes no one is approaching. So I crawled up to the top and once I reached it with no one in the way as I looked down at the trail I hit the throttle to speed up again. I should have looked up into the woods. Just as I was hitting some speed I looked up and saw the moose standing right next to the trail about as surprised to see me as I was to see him. A quick mental search for how to handle it went through my mind and I decided to hit the throttle and go faster, hoping to get past it as fast as I could while it was still sorting out fight or flight. Mind you this all happened within less than 20 feet of trail. The moose didn’t move until I had almost passed it and in my peripheral vision I caught some movement of his front legs away from the trail and I roared past. I swear I passed under its chin and could have reached out and swatted it on the nose. I didn’t even stop until I was well down the trail to make sure he wasn’t chasing me, but when I did I could see him moving slowly into the woods, stopping to look in my direction a couple of times. Shaking a little I went on down the trail a little slower.

 Later, on the way back, I stopped to look at the tracks. He definitely had one hoof in the trail when I passed. Whew, even closer than I thought.

     But that was yesterday. This morning when I first walked out onto the deck with the temperature at minus 8, I looked up the hill and saw new moose tracks. Later when I looked closer they showed it was moving uphill. Most often I see tracks heading down the hill. I followed them a little and saw where a second set of tracks joined the first and confirmed they were both heading uphill. The first set of tracks came within about 10 feet of the deck.

    A week or so ago I had noticed tracks crossing my trail down the hill. For a couple of days before that I had heard something crashing around in the woods up the hill, probably a moose but I never saw it. Then I came on these tracks and noticed a second set, these much smaller. It’s early but getting close to the time and I’m betting that was a calf she birthed on the hillside. Given the early arrival and the colder temperatures lately I’m guessing the calf won’t survive.  The second set of tracks today had been put down by another adult.

     Then there's this too. During the week I heard a radio announcer introducing a talk with a some kind of nature expert. It was the announcer who said this, not the expert (I sure hope). What he said was something like " in the area with moose and pelicans." Now I ask you, where in the world would moose and pelicans abide together? Maybe he was referring to the town of Pelican in Southeast Alaska, and there's that book I read years ago where the author put pelicans on the deck of an Alaska fishing boat in the Bering sea. Not likely. Maybe a zoo?


Pelicans? Really?

Wednesday, February 17, 2021

East Pole Journal V II, Episode 9: Strange snow

          A strange kind of snow has been falling here almost constantly for three days now. At first tiny flakes came down, frozen so solidly they made a sound when they hit an exposed hard surface, like wood or the arms of my deck chair, even the fabric of my Carhartts coveralls. Tick, tick tick … Later in the week still small but softer, they landed without a sound. At first it was crystallin and showed the patterns usually associated with regular snow, later the patterns showed but sort of melted somehow, softer. So far we’ve had maybe six inches covering a firmer level of packed snow with a light fluffy comforter. I get most of my water from thawing snow. I have a couple of 5-gallon stainless steel pots for that purpose. Generally if I pack one full the first time it melts to between a third and a half and then I fill it again and that tops it off. I’ve made five trips out into this snow, packed it as tightly as I can and I still don’t have even have half a kettle-full.

 I’m not the only one bothered by this unusual snow, either. Normally the chickadees who weigh only a couple of ounces land on the surface and hop around on it with no problem. Today I watched one land and immediately sink up to its neck. For a moment while it struggled, I thought I was going to have to go to the rescue, But, with a lot of major panicked wing flapping it managed to swim back to the surface until it had enough space between its wings and the snow to sort of leap up and fly away. Can you imagine a world covered in something you can’t even stand on?

    The only break I saw came last evening when with no wind, some larger flakes came down, though they were so light with nothing to push them, they floated in odd directions, not always down, just sort of drifted around aimlessly.

     Supposedly Americans Native to the Arctic have 40-some words for snow. Over the years as I’ve observed the weather I’ve noticed different kinds of snow, doubtful it was 40, though, and wondered what the Native word for that one is. This snow was different from any I’ve seen before. Forty-one?


East Pole Journal

Friday, February 5, 2021

East Pole Journal V. II, Episode 8: The hill is alive …

They're a bit shy.
When I took the first blurry look out the window without my glasses this morning, it looked like the ground was moving. A second look with the aid of lenses told me the redpolls had returned. All winter I hadn’t seen one, not confirmed anyway. Several flocks of small birds flew over now and then but I couldn’t be sure what they were. Just in the past couple of days I had seen one at a time poking around among the chickadees. Then this morning I realized the East Pole had been discovered yet again. There must have been 20 or 30 of them flitting around, coming to the feeder, watching from the trees and, yes, poking around in the snow. Fortunately I had just opened a new 40-pound bag of sunflower seeds.

What's a chic like you doing in a place like this?

 






On another note

Frustration cure #8372: After more than two months of sliding on this damned hill, and the other day being dragged down it on my belly by an overloaded sled, today I carved steps about 40 feet down from the house. Can a Stairway to Heaven be far behind? I would have made a picture but everything is white and there are no shadows so the camera can’t even see them.




The following morning tracks in the new snow showed a larger bird had walked the length of the deck and then even hopped down the stairs. Feet about magpie size, I think.


 East Pole Journal

More about Alaska birds

 

Best headlines ever

Naked pair fed LSD gummy worm to dog

Owners of a Noah's Ark replica file a lawsuit over rain damage

In Southcentral Alaska earthquake, damage originated in the ground, engineers say

A headline that could only be written in Alaska: At state cross country, Glacier Bears and Grizzlies sweep, Lynx repeat, Wolverines make history — and a black bear crosses the trail

Man kills self before shooting wife and daughter

Alabama governor candidate caught in lesbian sperm donation scandal

Sister hits moose on way to visit sister who hit moose.

Man caught driving stolen car filled with radioactive uranium, rattlesnake, whiskey

Man loses his testicles after attempting to smoke weed through a SCUBA tank

Church Mutual Insurance won't cover Church's flood damage because it's 'an act of God'

Homicide victims rarely talk to police

Meerkat Expert Attacked Monkey Handler Over Love Affair with Llama Keeper

GOP congressman opposes gun control because gay marriage leads to bestiality

Owner of killer bear chokes to death on sex toy

Support for legalizing pot hits all-time high

Give me all your money or my penguin will explode

How zombie worms have sex in whale bones

Crocodile steals zoo worker's lawn mower

Woman shot by oven while trying to cook waffles

Nude beach blowjob jet ski fight leads to wife's death

Woman stabs husband with squirrel for not buying beer Christmas Eve

GOPer files complaint against Democrat for telling the truth about Big Lie social posts

Man shot dead on Syracuse Street for 2nd time in 2 days

Alaska woman punches bear in face, saves dog

Johnny Rotten suffers flea bite on his penis after rescuing squirrel

Memorable quotations

The best way to know you are having an adventure is when you wish you were home talking about it." — a mechanic on the Alaska State Ferry System. Or as in my own case planning how I will be writing it on this blog.

"You can't promote principled anti-corruption without pissing off corrupt people." — George Kent

"If only the British had held on to the airports, the whole thing might have gone differently for us." — Mick Jagger

"You can do anything as long as you don't scare the horses." — a mother's favorite saying recalled by a friend

A poem is an egg with a horse inside” — anonymous fourth grader

“My children will likely turn my picture to the wall but what the hell, you only get old once." — Joe May

“Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.” — Ernest Hemingway

When I write, I feel like an armless, legless man with a crayon in his mouth. Kurt Vonnegut

“If you wrote something for which someone sent you a cheque, if you cashed the cheque and it didn't bounce, and if you then paid the light bill with the money, I consider you talented.”Stephen King

The thing about ignorance is, you don't have to remain ignorant. — me again"

"It was like the aftermath of an orgasm with the wrong partner." – David Lagercrants “The Girl in the Spider’s Web.”

Why worry about dying, you aren't going to live to regret it.

Never debate with someone who gets ink by the barrel" — George Hayes, former Alaska Attorney General who died recently

My dear Mr. Frost: two roads never diverge in a yellow wood. Three roads meet there. — @Shakespeare on Twitter

Normal is how somebody else thinks you should act.

"The mark of a great shiphandler is never getting into situations that require great shiphandling," Adm. Ernest King, USN

Me: Does the restaurant have cute waitresses?

My friend Gail: All waitresses are cute when you're hungry.

I'm not a writer, but sometimes I push around words to see what happens. – Scott Berry

I realized today how many of my stories start out "years ago." What's next? Once upon a time?"

“The rivers of Alaska are strewn with the bones of men who made but one mistake” - Fred McGarry, a Nushagak Trapper

Many people hear voices when no one is there. Some of them are called mad and are shut up in rooms where they stared at walls all day. Others are called writers and they do pretty much the same thing. – Meg Chittenden

A non-writing writer is a monster courting insanity. – Franz Kafka

We are all immortal until the one day we are not. – me again

If the muse is late, start without her – Peter S. Beagle

Substitute ‘damn’ every time you’re inclined to write ‘very;’ your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be. ~Mark Twain Actually you could do the same thing with the word "really" as in "really cold."

If you are looking for an experience that will temper your vanity, this is it. There's no one to impress when you're alone on the trap line. – Michael Carey quoting his father's journal

Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing. – Benjamin Franklin

It’s nervous work. The state you need to write in is the state that others are paying large sums of money to get rid of. – Shirley Hazzard

So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of intelligence -- Bertrand Russell

You know that I always just wanted to have a small ship to take stuff from a place that had a lot of that stuff to a place that did not have a lot of that stuff and so prosper.—Jackie Faber, “The Wake of the Lorelei Lee”

If you attack the arguer instead of the argument, you lose both

If an insurance company won’t pay for damages caused by an “act of God,” shouldn’t it then have to prove the existence of God? – I said that

I used to think getting old was about vanity—but actually it’s about losing people you love. Getting wrinkles is trivial. – Eugene O’Neill

German General to Swiss General: “You have only 500,000 men in your army; what would you do if I invaded with 1 million men?”

Swiss General: “Well, I suppose every one of my soldiers would need to fire twice.”

Writing is the only thing that when I do it, I don’t feel I should be doing something else.—Gloria Steinem

Exceed your bandwidth—sign on the wall of the maintenance shop at the West Coast/Alaska Tsunami Warning Center

One thing I do know, if you keep at it, you usually wind up getting something done.—Patricia Monaghan

Do you want to know what kind of person makes the best reporter? I’ll tell you. A borderline sociopath. Someone smart, inquisitive, stubborn, disorganized, chaotic, and in a perpetual state of simmering rage at the failings of the world.—Brett Arends

It is a very simple mind that only knows how to spell a word one way.—Andrew Jackson

3:30 is too late or too early to do anything—Rene Descartes

Everything is okay when it’s 50-below as long as everything is okay. – an Alaskan in Tom Walker’s “The Seventymile Kid”

You can have your own opinion but you can’t have your own science.—commenter arguing on a story about polar bears and global warming

He looks at three ex wives as a good start—TV police drama

Talkeetna: A friendly little drinking town with a climbing problem.—a handmade bumper sticker

“You’re either into the wall or into the show”—Marco Andretti on giving it all to qualify last at the 2011 Indy 500

Makeup is not for the faint of heart—the makeup guerrilla

“I’m going to relax in a very adult manner.”—Danica Patrick after sweating it out and qualifying half an hour before Andretti

“Asking Congress to come back is like asking a mugger to come back because he forgot your wallet.”—a roundtable participant on Fox of all places

As Republicans go further back in the conception process to define when life actually begins, I am beginning to think the eventual definition will be life begins in the beer I was drinking when I met her.—me again

Hunting is a “critical element for the long-term conservation of wood bison.”—a state department of Fish and Game official explaining why the state would not go along with a federal plan to reintroduce wood bison in Alaska because the agreement did not specifically allow hunting

Each day do something that won’t compute – anon

I can’t belive I still have to protest this shit – a sign carriend by an elderly woman at an Occupy demonstration

Life should be a little nuts or else it’s just a bunch of Thursdays strung together—Kevin Costner as Beau Burroughs in “Rumor has it”

You’re just a wanker whipping up fear —Irish President Michael D. Higgins to a tea party radio announcer

Being president doesn’t change who you are; it reveals who you are—Michelle Obama

Sports malaprops

Naked pair fed LSD gummy worm to dog

Owners of a Noah's Ark replica file a lawsuit over rain damage

In Southcentral Alaska earthquake, damage originated in the ground, engineers say

A headline that could only be written in Alaska: At state cross country, Glacier Bears and Grizzlies sweep, Lynx repeat, Wolverines make history — and a black bear crosses the trail

Man kills self before shooting wife and daughter

Alabama governor candidate caught in lesbian sperm donation scandal

Sister hits moose on way to visit sister who hit moose.

Man caught driving stolen car filled with radioactive uranium, rattlesnake, whiskey

Man loses his testicles after attempting to smoke weed through a SCUBA tank

Church Mutual Insurance won't cover Church's flood damage because it's 'an act of God'

Homicide victims rarely talk to police

Meerkat Expert Attacked Monkey Handler Over Love Affair with Llama Keeper

GOP congressman opposes gun control because gay marriage leads to bestiality

Owner of killer bear chokes to death on sex toy

Support for legalizing pot hits all-time high

Give me all your money or my penguin will explode

How zombie worms have sex in whale bones

Crocodile steals zoo worker's lawn mower

Woman shot by oven while trying to cook waffles

Nude beach blowjob jet ski fight leads to wife's death

Woman stabs husband with squirrel for not buying beer Christmas Eve

GOPer files complaint against Democrat for telling the truth about Big Lie social posts

Man shot dead on Syracuse Street for 2nd time in 2 days

Alaska woman punches bear in face, saves dog

Johnny Rotten suffers flea bite on his penis after rescuing squirrel