Showing posts with label news. Show all posts
Showing posts with label news. Show all posts

Saturday, November 14, 2020

Back in the day, an editor's lament

 An opportunity rose the other day that would have proved satisfying to every copy editor who ever
lived—a phrase ubiquitous in the writing world that is unnecessary and redundant. It’s one that has irritated me for years.

Perhaps I should explain further. What is a copy editor? The job is so misunderstood few people even realize it exists. The owner and editor of a paper where I worked a few years ago actually asked me what a copy editor does. When I told her reads and corrects stories and writes headlines, she said she couldn’t believe anyone would do that. I felt so valued that day.

But, that’s essentially the job. You read stories, fixing spelling and grammar mistakes, try to catch factual errors, even smooth out the writing so it presents a clear, factual account of whatever the reporter is writing about. You are truly the last gatekeeper before a story reaches the public.

There are lots of rules. Basic grammar thanks to E.B. White; usage rules contained in the AP stylebook, the universal bible of newspapers; and then there are usually local usage rules. Example: in Alaska you do not identify a person as a Native in a headline unless it is important to the story. Also, you need to know how to spell Utqiaġvik. To do this job well, a good copy editor is also a fountain of what others would call useless knowledge. Don’t ever play Trivia with a copy editor. (I once won a game in one turn).

But, back to those rules. In addition to all those sources of rules, most of us have our own personal set. Some are already written somewhere and others are our very own and some people take them very seriously. Also, they can evolve or change over the years. For example, when I first turned pro you capitalized President, even when it stood alone if it referred to the president of the U.S. However, after about a 20-year absence the rule had changed to president, lower case, when standing alone. With the change younger copy editors are working with a different set of what can only be called pet peeves than the one I came up with. Another thing that changed over those 20 years was now you only leave one space between sentences instead of the two I had known. How seriously do people take that? One fellow commenting on an Internet post said it made him furious when somebody put two spaces instead of one. Furious. I have mellowed, I commented back that if two spaces made him furious, he was going to die of a heart attack by the time he turns 40.

Of course, there are things that bother me too, not to the point of furiousness anymore, but irritating, nonetheless. 

For instance, is there an athlete or a sports announcer who can say “each” or “every” individually? Nope. It’s always “each and every.” Listen for it.

But that’s not used much in print. Now we are back to the minor victory I alluded to at the beginning. It has seemed to me that no writer or broadcaster can refer to an incident in the past without using the phrase “back in” as in “back in the 70s” or “back in 1950.” “In the 70s” or “in 1950” are sufficient without the extra word which appears almost as much as this construction does.

These days I edit a quarterly professional publication for an organization where almost everyone is a college graduate, and most write fairly well. We have had some discussions about style but not my personal preferences. That guy who hated two spaces would go nuts, so would someone irritated over excessive capitalization. Fixing those is tedious, but it’s their publication, not mine. But when the story I was editing yesterday started out “Back in the 70s …” just try to imagine the glee I took in deleting the excess word.

Not furiously but with great satisfaction, I kept it out of one minor publication one time. Yay. A victory if only a minor one. 

Sometimes this effort feels almost noble, as if we are the guardians of the language, the soldiers on the front lines making sure it is used properly. At others you feel like you are totally ineffective, unappreciated, viewed at times as a hinderance to be tolerated, and an antagonist in the life of a writer. Personally I look at part of the responsibility as helping the people we edit become better writers. Of course it seems the majority of them don't think that's our job at all. I take it one misused phrase at a time.

Now, if anyone cares to go into this further, I have a huge list of phrases we could discuss so, beware of what you ask for.

Monday, October 5, 2020

All media is not #fakenews, really


Last week I saw this posted as a meme on faebook by someone on my friends list: "We must recognize “the news” is no longer “news”, but propaganda to change our way of thinking. A few persons a few of whom I know responded emphatically agreeing. I rwrote a quick comment that read " I see Trump has won."

But since then I've been tempted to go back and give them a good talking to. I worked in the media off and on for 50 years in at least seven states with several newspapers ranging from The Wall Street Journal.to the Nome Nugget and still serve as managing editor of a quarterly business publication. I take great offense at the idea that the thousands of honest, hard-working journalists in this country are simply tossed aside with a casual comment that merely shows the #fakepresident has done what he intended, the fascist goal of bringing the public to mistrust the media, the one process that works to bring truth as a check against this very sort of intrusion into the body politic. I have worked with hundreds of journalists whose only thought was to print truth and expose dishonesty and the indiscretions of a complex society all with integrity.

To be sure there are are propaganda writers out there calling themselves news reporters and there is an awful lot of opinionated garble particularly in broadcast media and on line. I have always thought generally people are able to tell the difference between that and responsible journalism. The fact that the president of the United States calls it fakenews is abhorrent. Responsible journalism is all we have and he has created a schism between us and the government. Be discerning about who you listen to and read and learn to tell the difference. Just because we have a president who lies constantly (exposed carefully by responsible media) and in his paranoiac grandiosity thinks anyone who disagrees with him or holds him to the truth is somehow dishonest and simply out to get him. Truthfully he has been given a much wider berth than I would ever have given. He even called one of our most trusted reporters who wrote a book and backs up what he wrote with recordings, a liar when the truth is there in his own voice. Do you trust Donald Trump of Robert Woodward? Do you trust a respected journalist with proof to back up what he writes or a dishonest fascist president who knows no truth beyond what he manufactures in his own head? Here's a quote the #fakepresident made during the 2016 campaign. I believe he was talking about Hillary Clinton during the debates: “Every time I said something, she would say something back. It was rigged. She kept on bringing up things I said or did. She is a very nasty person.”

Here's what I mean about being discerning. I love Rachel Maddow. BUT, I know she's opinionated even if it's my side of opinions. I have seen her make mistakes and I can hear how she reports the news in a way to forward or confirm her view and that of those who listen to her. Sometimes if it's information somehow important to me I look for another source. It's unfortunate we live in this sort of situation. I have never watched a Fox news show though I have seen snippets. All I can say is at least Maddow doesn't tell out and out  lies, but then I see those snippets on shows that point out the lies. The point is understand who you are listening to and take the information accordingly. To find daily honest reporting turn to your local media, Those are the people doing their best to bring you honest reporting and not competing for national television ratings(though many local  outlets are now owned by large national news organizations and thus become suspect). 

An example I would pose to Alaskans is The Anchorage Daily News' recent reporting on sexual violence in Alaska. National awards on a local story held to the highest standards of journalism. Blanket condemnations of distrust for the media insults people like those ADN reporters, and thousands of lesser known journalists across the country who every day work very hard to bring you truthful balanced reports. I believe there is much to criticize in media. But there is a lot to praise too and when you think about it, they are all we have after all and when a government works to build distrust between you and us, distrust the government. If you look back through history in most conflicts between government and media, the media has won. So please, think of those honest journalists working hard before you decide to cast a wide net of distrust across a whole profession.

ADN Sexual violence in Alaska

Thursday, December 8, 2016

Best year-end roundup of the year so far: 2016 edition

Beginning on a somber note


And then on to the best we were blessed with from news, sports and television writers and announcers this year.

This may not be the best roundup, but it's the first. Starting out with almost anything Donald Trump said, no need to list them all.

Worst analogy of the day so far: "Snow comes out of the sky like bleached flies."

Best photobomb of the year so far.
Best headline of the day so far: "Denver Broncos' Ryan Murphy sent back to Denver after questioning in San Jose, Calif., prostitution sting." Are you kidding me? This guy is a football player … in the SUPER BOWL … and he can't get laid? (2/2/16)

Best headline of the day so far: China may be using sea to hide its submarines. (2/10/16)

My favorite comment on this subject so far: Justice Scalia died after a 30-year battle with social progress. 2/14/16)

Worst lead on a news story so far today: "NATIONAL HARBOR, Md. – The socially conservative doctor whose inspirational biography and deeply held faith galvanized the red blood of America this past fall officially announced that he is leaving the campaign trail Friday." Have to wonder who this writer is and how long he's been out of eloquent-journalism school. He's writing about Ben Carson for crying out loud.  Yahoo News 3/4

Best headline of the day so far: "Mitch Landrieu demands oil industry restore damage to coast." (6/2)

Best headline of the day so far: Fitness Personality Hospitalized for 'Bizarre Conduct' (6/5)

Best headline of the day so far (from my friend Carrie Ann Nash): Drones Will Drop Vaccine-Covered M&Ms to Save Ferrets (7/14)

Best headline of the day so far: Homicide victims rarely talk to police 8/2 
          
Dueling death notices from wife and girlfriend.
Man’s wife, girlfriend place dueling obituaries in same newspaper 8/5

Best headline of the day so far: One-armed man applauds the kindness of strangers 8/4

Sex pigs halt traffic after laser attack on Pokémon teens

Best headline of the day so far: Church Mutual Insurance won't cover Church's flood damage because it's 'an act of God' 8/2

Favorite headline of the day so far: Latino group begins 'Guac The Vote' initiative to register voters at taco trucks 8/7

Best headline of the day so far: WSJ accuses Hillary Clinton of attending Bill Clinton's birthday party. 9/6

Errant Cannon Fire from Niagara Deflates World’s Largest Rubber Duck 9/8

Man shot dead on Syracuse Street for 2nd time in 2 days 9/13

Best headline of the day so far: Ted Nugent Calls For Native Americans to ‘Go Back Where They Came From 9/15       
    
Best headline of the day so far: Memo warning ministers not to leak memos is leaked

Best tweet of the day so far: (This was in response to someone complaining the Mars rover's tweets were getting boring.)
SarcasticRover ‏@SarcasticRover 18m18 minutes ago
Seriously, after four years on Mars you’re lucky I’m not just tweeting 140 character screams at you all day long. 11/17

Best headline of the day so far: "Apple's new macs come with missing keys" OK, how can you arrive with something that's not there? 10/28

Best tweet of the day so far; love the Bronx Zoo Cobra
Bronx Zoo's Cobra ‏@BronxZoosCobra 2h2 hours ago
Twitter just "happens" to go down on #ReptileAwarenessDay?! Looks like the multinational corporations of Big Mammal are at it again. 10/21

There are a lot of them today but for me, this is the best Trump quote of the day so far: “Every time I said something, she would say something back,” he said. “It was rigged. She kept on bringing up things I said or did,” Trump added. “She is a very nasty person.” 9/27

Best headline of the day so far: "Surfing on a turtle’s tail makes swinging crabs monogamous." 9/23

And from the sports world:

I think they're drinking on the sports copy desk again: "UAA men's basketball dispatches Concordia 93-67 in men's basketball"  Headline on ADN website 2/19

Best sportscaster comment of the day so far: "He's got to have the lead if he's going to win this race."  2/21

Best sports comment of the day so far: "Kansas has always had the ability to score with the basketball." Um, otherwise what are they there for? 2/26

Best headline of the day so far: "NFL to put computer chips in balls." Oh, that's gotta hurt. 7/27

Best sports announcer quote of the day: Now that you're in the finals you have to run the race that's going to get you on the podium

Best sportscaster quote of the day so far: "It's very important for both sides that they stay on their feet." 11/21

This is why you get to hate sportscasters. Kansas beats Texas for the first time since 1938. So the pundits open their segment with the question "let's talk about what went wrong." Wrong? Kansas WON a football game! That's what went RIGHT! 11/19

Best sports announcer quote of the day so far (Jan. 9): "I brought out the thermostat to show you how cold it is here." Points to a thermometer reading zero in Minneapolis.

Sportscasters are really at it today. Best comment so far: "It's tough to win on the road when you turn the ball over." Oh, really? Like you can do all right if you turn the ball over playing at home? 10/29

Cliches so imbedded in sportscasters' minds they can't help themselves: "Minnesota fell from the ranks of the undefeated today." What ranks? They were the only undefeated team. 10/23

Best sportscaster quote of the day (seriously, never heard this one before). A 5'10" player went up and caught a pass off a defensive back over six feet tall. The quote? "He's got some hops."

Best homonym of the day so far: It's all tied. Alabama 34, Kentucky 3. Oh, Tide. 10/1

Best headline of the day so far: "Steve Hooker commentates on his Olympic Pole Vault gold medal." When "comments" just won't do.9/27

Best sports announcer quote of the day so far: This is kind of picking on amateurs, but who could let it pass? Iditarod. "He's certainly capable of the top ten, maybe even higher than that." 11?  3/6

Best sports announcer quote of the day so far: "Atlanta is capable of doing what they're doing." 5/6

Best quote from a sports announcer today so far: "Biyombo, one of seven kids from the Republic of Congo." In the NBA? In America? In his whole country? Oh, his family. 5/15     
      
And again: Best quote from a sports announcer today so far: "Biyombo, one of seven kids from the Republic of Congo." In the NBA? In America? In his whole country? Oh, his family. (5/17)            Said it again (5/23)

Best sports announcer quote of the day so far: "You can't come out and be aggressive but you can't come out and be unaggressive." (5/30)

Wednesday, July 27, 2016

Noah's Ark, White House construction, Lady Gaga and everything in between

Sunflowers do grow in Alaska. Those stakes are six feet tall.
Curiouser and curiouser. It's been a while since the last post and readership has fallen off considerably, not that it was ever very large. But something happened this week and I am not sure what. I have been getting almost 200 page hits a day from Russia. They occur overnight here, daytime across most of that country. No clue what triggered it and they seem to be hitting a variety of posts, not just one or two. My thought is they are so bad at hacking they are trying to get Hillary's emails and end up with the ravings of an Alaska maniac. Just doing my part. lol. So here are a bunch of discoveries over the past month. I have tried to stay away from  politics as much as I can. It's just too easy. So, try these:

Noah's Ark crashed into a Coast Guard vessel while docking in Oslo, Norway. Of course it was a replica but someone had already called animal control in case of an abandon-ship before that was determined.

Petsmart is using the Stones' "Sympathy for the Devil" in TV commercials. Whu-u-u-ut?

Basketball's greatest, Michael Jordan, contributed a million dollars to a police chiefs' organization called Institute for Community-Police Relations and another million to the NAACP Legal defense Fund.

There's a young teen-looking boy who walks his sheep on a leash over the bike trails around here.

A friend who is close to my age and suffers some age-related infirmities raced in a hill climb with
Kitty Delorey Fleischman takes a corner in a hill climb flashing
her "handicapped" placard.
her vintage Porsche recently. This is what she had to say about it: "I was the only person up on the hill with both racing numbers and a handicapped placard."

A gun shop in Illinois raffled off an AR-15 rifle to benefit victims of the Orlando night club massacre.

Facebook thinks I would like being friends with someone named Chi Chi Ajuga. Hmm I think maybe so.

The NFL suspended Johnny Manziel four games for substance abuse. Johnny Manziel doesn't play in the NFL any more.

Lead was found in the drinking water at a building holding congressional offices. Sixty Reps petitioned the EPA for stronger lead and copper standards for water. Meanwhile 5,000 city water systems across the country have higher concentrations of the lead and copper.

Lady Gaga kisses the ground after
passing her test.
Lady Gaga finally passed a test and received her first driver's license. A week later pulled over by the police. No plates on her new pickup truck. Wait, Lady Gaga drives a pickup truck?

Yup, she's driving a pickup.
There's this ad Montel Williams does on TV for a quick-loan operation. At the end where medicine products' side effects would be listed, he has to say the loan offer is not available in New York state because of laws against high interest rates. Shouldn't that tell potential borrowers something?

There is a city named White in Georgia. (Actually named for a postmaster, but, still …)

In reading a headline recently, I realized I am still not sure where Darfur is.  (Thanks to Google I found it.)

Retired Lt. Gen. Michael Flynn, a military adviser to Donald Trump's campaign called on Iranian leader Ayatollah Khomeini to denounce the terrorist attack in Nice, France. Khomeini died in 1989.

Today, July 27, it has been 133 days since Merrick Garland was nominated to be a Supreme Court justice.

Basketball player Lebron James who went to the NBA right out of high school has donated more than $41 million to send 1,100 students to college.

Donald Trump, who flew from New York to Scotland for a weekend of golf, said Sarah Palin lived too far away to be invited to speak at the Republican convention. Don't know whether to criticize or thank him.

There's such a thing as a bass flute. Who knew?
Featuring a bass flute.


Fist bump – two First Ladies: Fox flabbermouth Bill O’Reilly criticized  Michelle Obama's comment she wakes up every morning in a house built by slaves by claiming those slaves who built the White House “were well-fed and had decent lodgings.” Another first lady, the second one to be exact, Abigail Adams, who moved into the White House while it was still under construction, wrote about 200 years ago that the slave labor was ill-fed and treated poorly. Trolled. As if being a slave wasn't enough for O'Reilly.

Deadhorse, Alaska, on the coast of the Arctic Ocean hit a record temperature of 85 degrees F in mid July.

And, as a postscript, here is a link to a playlist of all the songs the Republicans have used without permission.



Monday, August 24, 2015

Meanwhile life outside goes on all around you

Some days it's difficult to organize a cohesive thought. We are bombarded with so much information it becomes difficult to sort out what is important and what isn’t or at least what deserves our focus. These flew across the field of vision today:
This photo also crossed that horizon: It's the real
Christopher Robin and Winnie-the Pooh circa
1926. For its influence see the link below.

A sandhill crane taking off from Creamer's field in Fairbanks.…

Chris Christie and Ted Cruz take critical potshots at Jimmy Carter who is facing terminal cancer …

My friend Tom Hale is recuperating from a serious stroke and giving his dear wife,  Mandy, fits but with a twinkle in his eyes and a wry smile on his lips …

That nutso white supremacist who tried to buy a North Dakota town and turn it into a bastion of racism and pseudo military resistance wants to name the town Trump …

A Navajo Code breaker walked two miles in a parade, helped along through the last half mile by two current Navajo Marines …

Some of my female friends swoon over actor Sam Elliot on his 71st birthday…

Indy car driver Justin Wilson dies after being hit by debris from a crash at a race track Sunday …

My friend Phil Munger who is driving off a divorce along the coast of the Lower States has started writing music again …

Danica Patrick is enjoying a vacation on a beach somewhere and showing off her yoga positions – that's hot…

German cruise lines pulled out of the Faroe Islands to protest the slaughter of pilot whales there …

A group from a satanic temple turned out to counter someone's protest of a Planned Parenthood establishment …

Facebook says I may know someone named Evan Christian …

Dan Buckwalter of Wasilla, Alaska is missing since Aug. 4 …

A soldier who helped with communications during the first Iditarod asked for help finding information and photos about that race and several people responded …

The National Women’s History Museum highlighted Sarah Winnemucca a Paiute author and the first Native American woman known to obtain a copyright to publish a book in English …

Republican presidential candidate Scott Walker announced a big point in his foreign policy: he wants to cancel the Chinese president's visit to the United States because of a dip in China's stock market …

Still no one seems to remember the name or has heard from the other senator from Alaska, though there was some mention that he was upset not to be included in festivities surrounding President Obama's visit to Alaska, the president he vilified and promised to stand up to during his election campaign …

Several people liked my post in Ocean People about a federal lawsuit against SeaWorld in San Diego …

Josh Duggar's brother in law wants "that pig out of our family"…

Several crews of Alaska firefighters are battling the wildfires in the Pacific Northwest, particularly Idaho and the Alaska Division of Forestry has sent 450 miles of hose to help in the effort …

A beautiful high school girl named Lilliana who is an intelligent and informed critic of SeaWorld and whale captives in general was blocked on Twitter by a humpback whale group she has never interacted with. Getting a name for herself …

Discovered another sign of seasons changing tonight – when you go out to water the garden at the regular time and the motion-activated lights come on …

A wolf hunt began around the perimeter of Denali National Park, targeting wolves that often move back and forth in and out of the park …

Kim Kardashian gets fat injections in her ass …

A huge storm is developing in the Bering Sea and warnings are up for heavy surf along western and southern shorelines. Those are the shorelines that are eroding badly …

Two giant panda cubs born at the National Zoo …

Mississippi is rated  the most religious state in the Union and also 48th in intelligence, just sayin' …

And then there’s this quote from Winston Churchill: asked to cut arts funding in favor of the war effort (World War II for you children), he asked, "then what are we fighting for?"…

There's a new store opening in Palmer called "The Frayed Knot." Looks like a crafts store heavy on the knitting …

Three Americans and a couple of others subdued a terrorist shooting up a train in Belgium. Today Fox Noise blamed the attacker on President Obama…

And, just for perspective, the first train robbery in the U.S. happened on this day in 1866 and while he isn't blamed outright for it, Obama did nothing to stop the robbery either …

Yahoo News listed the goofiest laws in every state. In Alaska it's illegal to give a moose beer. Who knew? …

There have been spectacular northern lights shows around here the past few nights and maybe it would be better to bundle up and go outside to stare at them than watch this screen any longer.

Winnie-the-Pooh and the East Pole

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Confirmation about those news reports by committee

There's a line in a Paul Simon song, 'I get all the news I need from the weather report." It has reached the point now where that is the only straight news reporting around, except maybe when the idiots stand outside in storms telling everyone else to seek shelter.  At least they don't do it by committee.

News reporting on the 24-hour stations has become increasingly irritating in the past few months.  It's about those committees. The talking head gives the basic story and then a small panel, usually three, of people who know nothing about the subject or have any connection or credibility whatsoever with the given story give their opinions about what is going on.  They often shout and rudely talk over each other in order to say things like "I am not familiar with this particular case but here is what I think in general."  Each one tries to outdo the other in being more profound, or more outrageous or just more clever,  In the end they say nothing and add nothing to the story and their shouted inanities overwhelm the thinking audience.  That's when I change the channel and it happens often.  Some days that's all that's on and it is frustrating not to get any news, just shouting pseudo experts.  I used to laugh at reporters interviewing reporters but the collection of participants in these forums is even worse.  It is the trend apparently.

CASE IN POINT: Wednesday morning 11/20, news head and two others discussing shopping on the Friday after Thanksgiving.  (I will never win this one but I can still refuse to call it black friday.) Does it really take a panel discussion to report that Friday comes after Thursday and it is an over-hyped shopping day?  For the sake of discussion I would submit this intrnet meme: defined as the day when people fight each other to buy unneeded things the day after they gave thanks for what they already have.

I am often alone in my criticisms and I can live with that, but tonight, on this particular subject I received some confirmation.  I am not the only one.  When I can, I usually watch a rerun of  the previous night's The Daily Show at 6:30 p.m. during dinner.  It's better than answering telemarketers' calls. So, tonight they did it: Jon Stewart and a panel of his cronies shouting each other down with one outrageous comment after another about the subject or off the subject or about anything that came to mind.  It was hilarious, it pilloried those CNN and HLN and MSNBC committees at their best. I laughed.  No wonder young people say they get their news from Stewart and Stephen Colbert.  Some days their hilarity is the only sanity in the news business and I have to admit sorting through their humor I often learn things about a subject I hadn't heard or read about in the supposed responsible news media.

Overall it is a shame to watch news reporting degenerate into showmanship with no substance. It makes me want to find some recordings of Walter Cronkite and send them to the networks in hopes somebody will realize how far they have removed themselves from real news.

Monday, January 21, 2013

'All we are saying ...'


Today brought to mind several songs. The National Anthem sung by Beyonce so beautifully and powerfully for one. John Lennon’s "Imagine" for another.  One that came up was Paul Simon's "Silent Night, Six O’clock News."  Looking over the day's news, of course dominated by the inauguration, that song resonated with what else was going on today. If you don’t know the song, he recorded it during the Vietnam War and he sang "Silent Night," while in the background a newsman announces news of war and other mayhem.

On a day we honor the greatest civil rights leader the United States has ever seen and on this particular one, we inaugurate the country's first African-American president for the second time, a day that should be one to glorify peace and understanding, like in Paul Simon's song, these headlines showed up on news sites reporting events other than the inauguration:

'Horrific' scene after teen allegedly kills family

'Ridiculous': Five shot on MLK Blvd. on MLK Day

SWAT team finds head, two hands after standoff

Fan stabbed after NFC Championship Game

Dad kills wife, self at daughter's 16th birthday party

1 shot dead, 1 stabbed after punk rock brawl

Feds investigate how Ohio felon obtained arsenal 


And elsewhere:

Insurgents launch 8-hour attack on Afghan traffic cops

Sahara hostage death toll will rise, Algeria warns

Algeria PM says 48 killed in gas-plant attack

Kony 'bodyguard killed in CAR jungles'

Hearings begin in Indian gang-rape trial

Bulgaria gun attacker charged

Suicide car bombing hits central Syrian town

And then this one:

NRA crosses line with diabolical ad featuring Obama's daughters

"... is give peace a chance."  -- John Lennon, The Beatles

and then there's Pete Seeger's "Where have all the flowers gone," performed by Peter, Paul and Mary

Best headlines ever

Naked pair fed LSD gummy worm to dog

Owners of a Noah's Ark replica file a lawsuit over rain damage

In Southcentral Alaska earthquake, damage originated in the ground, engineers say

A headline that could only be written in Alaska: At state cross country, Glacier Bears and Grizzlies sweep, Lynx repeat, Wolverines make history — and a black bear crosses the trail

Man kills self before shooting wife and daughter

Alabama governor candidate caught in lesbian sperm donation scandal

Sister hits moose on way to visit sister who hit moose.

Man caught driving stolen car filled with radioactive uranium, rattlesnake, whiskey

Man loses his testicles after attempting to smoke weed through a SCUBA tank

Church Mutual Insurance won't cover Church's flood damage because it's 'an act of God'

Homicide victims rarely talk to police

Meerkat Expert Attacked Monkey Handler Over Love Affair with Llama Keeper

GOP congressman opposes gun control because gay marriage leads to bestiality

Owner of killer bear chokes to death on sex toy

Support for legalizing pot hits all-time high

Give me all your money or my penguin will explode

How zombie worms have sex in whale bones

Crocodile steals zoo worker's lawn mower

Woman shot by oven while trying to cook waffles

Nude beach blowjob jet ski fight leads to wife's death

Woman stabs husband with squirrel for not buying beer Christmas Eve

GOPer files complaint against Democrat for telling the truth about Big Lie social posts

Man shot dead on Syracuse Street for 2nd time in 2 days

Alaska woman punches bear in face, saves dog

Johnny Rotten suffers flea bite on his penis after rescuing squirrel

Memorable quotations

The best way to know you are having an adventure is when you wish you were home talking about it." — a mechanic on the Alaska State Ferry System. Or as in my own case planning how I will be writing it on this blog.

"You can't promote principled anti-corruption without pissing off corrupt people." — George Kent

"If only the British had held on to the airports, the whole thing might have gone differently for us." — Mick Jagger

"You can do anything as long as you don't scare the horses." — a mother's favorite saying recalled by a friend

A poem is an egg with a horse inside” — anonymous fourth grader

“My children will likely turn my picture to the wall but what the hell, you only get old once." — Joe May

“Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.” — Ernest Hemingway

When I write, I feel like an armless, legless man with a crayon in his mouth.― Kurt Vonnegut

“If you wrote something for which someone sent you a cheque, if you cashed the cheque and it didn't bounce, and if you then paid the light bill with the money, I consider you talented.”―Stephen King

The thing about ignorance is, you don't have to remain ignorant. — me again"

"It was like the aftermath of an orgasm with the wrong partner." – David Lagercrants “The Girl in the Spider’s Web.”

Why worry about dying, you aren't going to live to regret it.

Never debate with someone who gets ink by the barrel" — George Hayes, former Alaska Attorney General who died recently

My dear Mr. Frost: two roads never diverge in a yellow wood. Three roads meet there. — @Shakespeare on Twitter

Normal is how somebody else thinks you should act.

"The mark of a great shiphandler is never getting into situations that require great shiphandling," Adm. Ernest King, USN

Me: Does the restaurant have cute waitresses?

My friend Gail: All waitresses are cute when you're hungry.

I'm not a writer, but sometimes I push around words to see what happens. – Scott Berry

I realized today how many of my stories start out "years ago." What's next? Once upon a time?"

“The rivers of Alaska are strewn with the bones of men who made but one mistake” - Fred McGarry, a Nushagak Trapper

Many people hear voices when no one is there. Some of them are called mad and are shut up in rooms where they stared at walls all day. Others are called writers and they do pretty much the same thing. – Meg Chittenden

A non-writing writer is a monster courting insanity. – Franz Kafka

We are all immortal until the one day we are not. – me again

If the muse is late, start without her – Peter S. Beagle

Substitute ‘damn’ every time you’re inclined to write ‘very;’ your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be. ~Mark Twain Actually you could do the same thing with the word "really" as in "really cold."

If you are looking for an experience that will temper your vanity, this is it. There's no one to impress when you're alone on the trap line. – Michael Carey quoting his father's journal

Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing. – Benjamin Franklin

It’s nervous work. The state you need to write in is the state that others are paying large sums of money to get rid of. – Shirley Hazzard

So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of intelligence -- Bertrand Russell

You know that I always just wanted to have a small ship to take stuff from a place that had a lot of that stuff to a place that did not have a lot of that stuff and so prosper.—Jackie Faber, “The Wake of the Lorelei Lee”

If you attack the arguer instead of the argument, you lose both

If an insurance company won’t pay for damages caused by an “act of God,” shouldn’t it then have to prove the existence of God? – I said that

I used to think getting old was about vanity—but actually it’s about losing people you love. Getting wrinkles is trivial. – Eugene O’Neill

German General to Swiss General: “You have only 500,000 men in your army; what would you do if I invaded with 1 million men?”

Swiss General: “Well, I suppose every one of my soldiers would need to fire twice.”

Writing is the only thing that when I do it, I don’t feel I should be doing something else.—Gloria Steinem

Exceed your bandwidth—sign on the wall of the maintenance shop at the West Coast/Alaska Tsunami Warning Center

One thing I do know, if you keep at it, you usually wind up getting something done.—Patricia Monaghan

Do you want to know what kind of person makes the best reporter? I’ll tell you. A borderline sociopath. Someone smart, inquisitive, stubborn, disorganized, chaotic, and in a perpetual state of simmering rage at the failings of the world.—Brett Arends

It is a very simple mind that only knows how to spell a word one way.—Andrew Jackson

3:30 is too late or too early to do anything—Rene Descartes

Everything is okay when it’s 50-below as long as everything is okay. – an Alaskan in Tom Walker’s “The Seventymile Kid”

You can have your own opinion but you can’t have your own science.—commenter arguing on a story about polar bears and global warming

He looks at three ex wives as a good start—TV police drama

Talkeetna: A friendly little drinking town with a climbing problem.—a handmade bumper sticker

“You’re either into the wall or into the show”—Marco Andretti on giving it all to qualify last at the 2011 Indy 500

Makeup is not for the faint of heart—the makeup guerrilla

“I’m going to relax in a very adult manner.”—Danica Patrick after sweating it out and qualifying half an hour before Andretti

“Asking Congress to come back is like asking a mugger to come back because he forgot your wallet.”—a roundtable participant on Fox of all places

As Republicans go further back in the conception process to define when life actually begins, I am beginning to think the eventual definition will be life begins in the beer I was drinking when I met her.—me again

Hunting is a “critical element for the long-term conservation of wood bison.”—a state department of Fish and Game official explaining why the state would not go along with a federal plan to reintroduce wood bison in Alaska because the agreement did not specifically allow hunting

Each day do something that won’t compute – anon

I can’t belive I still have to protest this shit – a sign carriend by an elderly woman at an Occupy demonstration

Life should be a little nuts or else it’s just a bunch of Thursdays strung together—Kevin Costner as Beau Burroughs in “Rumor has it”

You’re just a wanker whipping up fear —Irish President Michael D. Higgins to a tea party radio announcer

Being president doesn’t change who you are; it reveals who you are—Michelle Obama

Sports malaprops

Commenting on an athlete with hearing impairment he said the player didn’t show any “uncomfortability.” “He's not doing things he can't do."

"… there's a fearlessment about him …"

"He's got to have the lead if he's going to win this race." "

"Kansas has always had the ability to score with the basketball."

"NFL to put computer chips in balls." Oh, that's gotta hurt.

"Now that you're in the finals you have to run the race that's going to get you on the podium."

"It's very important for both sides that they stay on their feet."

This is why you get to hate sportscasters. Kansas beats Texas for the first time since 1938. So the pundits open their segment with the question "let's talk about what went wrong." Wrong? Kansas WON a football game! That's what went RIGHT!

"I brought out the thermostat to show you how cold it is here." Points to a thermometer reading zero in Minneapolis.

"It's tough to win on the road when you turn the ball over." Oh, really? Like you can do all right if you turn the ball over playing at home?

Cliches so embedded in sportscasters' minds they can't help themselves: "Minnesota fell from the ranks of the undefeated today." What ranks? They were the only undefeated team left.

A good one: A 5'10" player went up and caught a pass off a defensive back over six feet tall. The quote? "He's got some hops."

Best homonym of the day so far: "It's all tied. Alabama 34, Kentucky 3." Oh, Tide.

"Steve Hooker commentates on his Olympic pole vault gold medal." When "comments" just won't do.

"He's certainly capable of the top ten, maybe even higher than that."

"Atlanta is capable of doing what they're doing."

"Biyombo, one of seven kids from the Republic of Congo." In the NBA? In America? In his whole country?

"You can't come out and be aggressive but you can't come out and be unaggressive."

"They're gonna be in every game they play!"

"First you have to get two strikes on the hitter before you get the strikeout."

"The game ended in the final seconds." You have to wonder when the others ended or are they still going on?

How is a team down by one touchdown before the half "totally demoralized?"

"If they score runs they will win."

"I think the matchup is what it is"

After a play a Houston defender was on his knees, his head on the ground and his hand underneath him appeared to clutch a very sensitive part of the male anatomy. He rolled onto his back and quickly removed his hand. (Remember the old Cosby routine "you cannot touch certain parts of your body?") Finally they helped the guy to the sideline and then the replay was shown. In it the guy clearly took a hard knee between his thighs. As this was being shown, one of the announcers says, "It looks like he hurt his shoulder." The other agrees and then they both talk about how serious a shoulder injury can be. Were we watching the same game?

"Somebody is going to be the quarterback or we're going to see a new quarterback."

"That was a playmaker making a play.”