Beginning on a somber note
And then on to the best we were blessed with from news, sports and television writers and announcers this year.
This may not be the best roundup, but it's the first. Starting out
with almost anything Donald Trump said, no need to list them all.
Worst analogy of the day so far: "Snow comes out
of the sky like bleached flies."
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Best photobomb of the year so far. |
Best headline of the day so far: "Denver Broncos'
Ryan Murphy sent back to Denver after questioning in San Jose, Calif.,
prostitution sting." Are you kidding me? This guy is a football player …
in the SUPER BOWL … and he can't get laid? (2/2/16)
Best headline of the day so far: China may be using
sea to hide its submarines. (2/10/16)
My favorite comment on this subject so far: Justice
Scalia died after a 30-year battle with social progress. 2/14/16)
Worst lead on a news story so far today:
"NATIONAL HARBOR, Md. – The socially conservative doctor whose
inspirational biography and deeply held faith galvanized the red blood of
America this past fall officially announced that he is leaving the campaign
trail Friday." Have to wonder who this writer is and how long he's been
out of eloquent-journalism school. He's writing about Ben Carson for crying out
loud. Yahoo News 3/4
Best headline of the day so far: "Mitch Landrieu
demands oil industry restore damage to coast." (6/2)
Best headline of the day so far: Fitness Personality
Hospitalized for 'Bizarre Conduct' (6/5)
Best headline of the day so far (from my
friend Carrie Ann Nash): Drones Will Drop Vaccine-Covered M&Ms to Save Ferrets
(7/14)
Best headline of the day so far: Homicide
victims rarely talk to police 8/2
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Dueling death notices from wife and girlfriend. |
Man’s wife,
girlfriend place dueling obituaries in same newspaper 8/5
Best headline of the day so far: One-armed
man applauds the kindness of strangers 8/4
Sex pigs halt traffic after laser attack on Pokémon teens
Best headline of the day so far: Church
Mutual Insurance won't cover Church's flood damage because it's 'an act of God'
8/2
Favorite headline of the day so far:
Latino group begins 'Guac The Vote' initiative to register voters at taco trucks
8/7
Best headline of the day so far: WSJ
accuses Hillary Clinton of attending Bill Clinton's birthday party. 9/6
Errant Cannon Fire from Niagara Deflates World’s
Largest Rubber Duck 9/8
Man shot dead on Syracuse Street for 2nd
time in 2 days 9/13
Best headline of the day so far: Ted
Nugent Calls For Native Americans to ‘Go Back Where They Came From 9/15
Best headline of the day so far: Memo warning
ministers not to leak memos is leaked
Best tweet of
the day so far: (This was in response to someone complaining the Mars rover's
tweets were getting boring.)
SarcasticRover
@SarcasticRover 18m18 minutes ago
Seriously, after four years on Mars you’re
lucky I’m not just tweeting 140 character screams at you all day long. 11/17
Best headline of the day so far:
"Apple's new macs come with missing keys" OK, how can you arrive with something that's not there? 10/28
Best tweet of
the day so far; love the Bronx Zoo Cobra
Bronx Zoo's
Cobra @BronxZoosCobra 2h2 hours ago
Twitter just "happens" to go
down on #ReptileAwarenessDay?!
Looks like the multinational corporations of Big Mammal are at it again. 10/21
There are a lot of them today but for me,
this is the best Trump quote of the day so far: “Every time I said something,
she would say something back,” he said. “It was rigged. She kept on bringing up
things I said or did,” Trump added. “She is a very nasty person.” 9/27
Best headline of the day so far:
"Surfing on a turtle’s tail makes swinging crabs monogamous." 9/23
And
from the sports world:
I think they're drinking on the sports copy desk
again: "UAA men's basketball dispatches Concordia 93-67 in men's
basketball" Headline on ADN
website 2/19
Best sportscaster comment of the day so far:
"He's got to have the lead if he's going to win this race." 2/21
Best sports comment of the day so far: "Kansas
has always had the ability to score with the basketball." Um, otherwise
what are they there for? 2/26
Best headline of the day so far: "NFL
to put computer chips in balls." Oh, that's gotta hurt. 7/27
Best sports announcer quote of the day:
Now that you're in the finals you have to run the race that's going to get you
on the podium
Best sportscaster quote of the day so far:
"It's very important for both sides that they stay on their feet."
11/21
This is why you get to hate sportscasters.
Kansas beats Texas for the first time since 1938. So the pundits open their
segment with the question "let's talk about what went wrong." Wrong?
Kansas WON a football game! That's what went RIGHT! 11/19
Best sports announcer quote of the day so far (Jan.
9): "I brought out the thermostat to show you how cold it is here."
Points to a thermometer reading zero in Minneapolis.
Sportscasters
are really at it today. Best comment so far: "It's tough to win on the
road when you turn the ball over." Oh, really? Like you can do all right
if you turn the ball over playing at home? 10/29
Cliches so imbedded in sportscasters'
minds they can't help themselves: "Minnesota fell from the ranks of the
undefeated today." What ranks? They were the only undefeated team. 10/23
Best sportscaster quote of the day
(seriously, never heard this one before). A 5'10" player went up and
caught a pass off a defensive back over six feet tall. The quote? "He's
got some hops."
Best homonym of the day so far: It's all tied.
Alabama 34, Kentucky 3. Oh, Tide. 10/1
Best headline of the day so far:
"Steve Hooker commentates on his Olympic Pole Vault gold medal." When
"comments" just won't do.9/27
Best sports announcer quote of the day so far: This is
kind of picking on amateurs, but who could let it pass? Iditarod. "He's
certainly capable of the top ten, maybe even higher than that." 11? 3/6
Best sports announcer quote of the day so far:
"Atlanta is capable of doing what they're doing." 5/6
Best quote from a sports announcer today so far:
"Biyombo, one of seven kids from the Republic of Congo." In the NBA?
In America? In his whole country? Oh, his family. 5/15
And again: Best quote from a sports announcer today so
far: "Biyombo, one of seven kids from the Republic of Congo." In the
NBA? In America? In his whole country? Oh, his family. (5/17)
Said it again (5/23)
Best sports announcer quote of the day so far:
"You can't come out and be aggressive but you can't come out and be
unaggressive." (5/30)
Each one is better than the last. You should go help those sportswriters, Tim. They need you.
ReplyDeleteDid you ever notice that the greatest number of incredibly stupid quotes come from the sports world? We had a friend who did a radio sports show out of Las Vegas, highlighting some of the stupidest actions and comments. His interns would always say they should hold some back for the next day, but Mike assured them there would be more where those came from. There always were. He also developed the "felon index" to predict the winners of college and professional sports, and it was infallible!
ReplyDelete