Thursday, January 27, 2011

Cold? Really? Really cold



At least partially inspired by the post the other day about defining terms for cold, a friend sent an email to her friends giving her cold story and asking if anyone else had a story about extreme cold. Hmmm extreme cold, now what does that mean? In Brazil. In Alaska. In Antarctica.

She received many entertaining responses. One of them really stood out.

It was written by a woman named Amy Modig who grew up in Interior Alaska where one often encountered temperatures of 50 below zero or more. This was just part of her story:

“60 below was not something anyone would hop around in unless you absolutely had to. I remember having to run up the long, long driveway with my two brothers to catch the bus to school at -58, trying to time it so we wouldn't have to wait too long for the bus or make the bus wait for us. Of course, the buses wouldn't come at 60 below. What a thrill that was. We could stay home with our intermittent nosebleeds and hair that stuck straight out from electric charges - the air pressure was so high during a deep cold snap it was really really dry. But we could make electric arcs between our fingers two inches long!

“Cold was so exhilarating, but only because there was a warm place to get to. Yikes. But then I discovered that people didn't have to live that way really and I moved… to Anchorage.”


I thought the picture above was pretty funny and demonstrates according to the caption what happens to whiskey at minus 51 degrees. To be honest I copied it from a gallery on a facebook page called I’m from Alaska. 30 degrees is not cold. It is a fun page with at this point 79 pictures of cold people have experienced. On the second to last gallery page is a picture of a rear view mirror thermometer showing minus 40. That’s mine.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Birds and boys



You just never know what sort of influence you might be having on your kids and of course they are never going to tell you, but I realized one tonight and it was a pretty good one.

A friend of mine wrote a nice, thoughtful piece in the paper tonight about his young son’s encounter with a flock of Bohemian waxwings in the past week. It reminded me of my own son’s adventures with birds or at least my efforts to encourage some adventures and I thought maybe it would be an idea for my friend to try.

In the house my son and I shared every other week for seven years we had huge picture windows that overlooked a large woodland. Of course there were birds, a wide variety and we put out feeders for them. There were enough different species that I suggested we keep a life list. I called it “Our extra special picture window life list” and we taped it to the glass. The rule was we both had to see the bird and we had to identify it exactly, no “little brown chippies.” Over the next few years we added to that list often. Once in a while I would take it down and type the new ones into the computer to replace the handwritten ones and then tape it back up. That windowsill was always cluttered with bird identification books and binoculars.

Our favorites were the Steller’s jays who came to the deck for the peanuts we put out for them. They came every day in winter, often in gangs. One day we counted 13 on the deck and in the nearby trees waiting for their turn to swoop in for a peanut. We even recognized a few individuals. One we called Tank was noticeably bigger than the others and we swore the house shook when he landed. There was a day, too, when I hadn’t put any peanuts out yet. I heard a tapping on the window and when I went to look there was a jay perched on the back of a deck chair pecking at the window, demanding nuts.

Another favorite of mine was sometimes we could see a chickadee start from way deep in the woods and make a line in that up and down wave-like flight pattern they fly straight to the feeder that held sunflower seeds.

There are too many stories about the birds we saw and what they did for me to relate in a short blog post but they were almost constant entertainment. A friend from way back in high school visited once and added several species to his life list just sitting drinking coffee one morning.

My son more tolerated my passion for it more than he actually participated. But he surprised me when he was in sixth grade and wanted to do his science project testing what foods the jays would like best. His project won a statewide science fair division and earned him a big blue ribbon from a birding group.

After that junior high school took over and he got way too cool for dad’s bird interests. and I never noticed him paying much attention to birds again.

I hadn’t realized it until just today as I was telling my friend about our life list when it hit me. On our square-rigger sail this summer it came up we needed a bird identification book and no one seemed to have brought one. Turns out one person had. My 20-year-old son quickly produced his, the only one among that environmentally conscious crew to have one. And it was in telling my friend about it today that I realized what an event that really had been, the realization that at some point I had planted a positive idea with a growing boy. Perhaps in the encounter with the Bohemian waxwings, my friend has planted the same sort of idea with his son and one day the boy will reveal that influence to his father as well. I can tell him now it is one great, if unexpected, reward for being a parent.

Here is the last life list from the picture window:


JUSTIN AND TIM'S VERY SPECIAL PICTURE WINDOW LIFE LIST
(Seen through our window by both of us and confirmed with bird books)

Birds we've seen                                             Birds we've heard
Varied Thrush                                             Owl (Saw whet)
Steller's Jay                                                      Woodpecker
Common Redpoll                                             Loon
Robin                                                               Birds we fed
Raven                                                               Steller's jay
Hermit Thrush                                             Black-capped chickadee
Wilson's Warbler                                             Rufous humingbird
Hairy Woodpecker                                             Redpolls
Bald Eagle                                                      Red breasted nuthatch
Black-capped Chickadee                                    Junco
Black billed Magpie                                    3-toed woodpecker
Rufous Humingbird                                    Pine grosbeak (m&f)
Red-breasted Nuthatch                                    Pine siskin
Dark-eyed Junco
Three-toed Woodpecker
Pine Grosbeak (m & f)
Blackpoll warbler
Pine siskin
Downey woodpecker
Sharp-shinned hawk
Great horned owl
Violet green swallow

Dad saw:  Hawk, either red-tailed or sharp-shinned
                        and, either red-tailed immature or Goshawk; also a falcon, probably peregrin

My friend's story: Waxwing diversion

Sunday, January 23, 2011

How cold was it? Really?

Try fighting a school fire at 50 below. Galena, Alaska Be sure to read the comments on the related story.

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Oh yeah? How cold was it?

Driving to work today I got to thinking maybe it sounds like I am complaining about the weather too much. Actually I don’t think I am complaining at all, just curious about what things happen and why. And, I was thinking it hasn’t been that bad. I mean temperatures seldom below zero and then only a little. I should have stopped right there. Came home tonight and it was 20 below. Had to start a fire and plug in the car overnight.

One thing that happens to Alaskans is sooner or later you are going to have to explain to someone Outside how cold it is.

Which led to the next thought which was how do you explain cold. I learned about this from a Norman Mailer novel called “Tough Guys Don’t Dance.” His lesson was make adjectives specific and relative. His example was the word “strong” and he pointed out how the word means different things to different people.

Mine is cold. Years ago I wrote one of those “as-told-to” sports books with a woman sled dog racer. She was very good at recall and most of her descriptions were at least adequate if not literature. But her favorite adjective was “really,” as in it was really cold or that was really hard and my response always had to be “how cold was it.” In one part she went out into a really bad storm and of course it was really cold. I finally got this out of her. Wrapped tightly in her sleeping bag, her breath froze to the zipper and when she tried to get out of it she found she couldn’t move the zipper. You will have to read the book to find out how she did it. But that’s cold.

Still my favorite “that’s cold” statement came from a girl in the Delta Junction elementary school. Now, Delta is one of the colder spots in Alaska, deep in the Interior. During a writing class I was explaining to the kids that if they write in Delta only that it’s cold and someone in Miami reads it, that person is probably going to think something like 40 degrees. And then I asked the kids how cold is it when it is cold in Delta? Their response was 50 below zero. So I asked them if you are trying to explain that kind of cold to someone in Miami what do you tell them? They were quiet. And then I asked, OK what has ever happened to you when it was that cold. One girl raised her hand and I called on her. At just barely more than a whisper she said, “One time my boots froze to the floor of the school bus.”

That’s really cold.

Now, for outsiders who would like to understand, and for Alaskans who need something to show Outsiders what happens in the cold, I am going to give you a link. There is a fellow who works for the University of Alaska Fairbanks and it seems forever he has written a weekly column about science that is distributed to newspapers across the state. To give you an idea how good he is, most of them print it including the one I work for. His name is Ned Rozell and in this column, he went through a typical morning in a Fairbanks household as everyone heads off for their day with the temperature at minus 40 degrees. But, he adds easy to understand science that explains what is going on with the physics of it. Don’t be afraid, it is a pleasant read and not very long. It’s either that or put up with more posts on here explaining what "really, really cold" means.

Friday, January 14, 2011

They can't take Serenity

At 15 degrees Fahrenheit, a fifty mile an hour wind hits you like cold steel pellets. It gives meaning to wind chill, much more so than those weak stuff weather folks on TV using wind chill to inflate the numbers so the temperature sounds more severe than it really is. Hunched against it in the Walmart parking lot I didn’t even see my prescription go flying out of my cart and never missed that little bag until I got home 20 miles away. Fortunately Walmart called, it seems one good citizen found it and returned it to the pharmacy counter. Thank you to an unknown but great Alaskan.

It has been that way around here. Fifteen and blowing 50 in the Governor Interrupted's town, but 5 below and calm here. The other night it was 7 when I left work, 31 where I turned onto the blue highway, 28 when I crossed the river but two miles farther on at the house, 5, stinking 5 degrees and just 10 miles away, 31. How deep is my hole.

It has all driven me to this: wood stove going and almost 90 in the house, starting Firefly at the beginning: take my love, take my land. take me where I cannot stand, I don’t care, I’m still free, they can’t take the sky from me ....

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Winter blahs

On a hillside steep enough it would take reaching from tree to tree to climb, a moose stands nibbling at twigs, very visible backed by what snow the wind and rain left behind. This is the same hillside where a year ago in the dark, a moose seemed to drop out of the sky into the headlights after it careened down the slope.

That wind and rain left very little snow except in the shadows. Some people in Alaska last week experienced a 100-degree temperature change. Minus 50 at Christmas to plus 50 at New Year’s. Much more than a person should have to bear. Here it went from 20 below to 45 above in the same time frame and it looks like that brown dead period in the fall or the days before Green Day in the spring.

The avalanche danger was so high the field testers who check that sort of thing didn’t dare go because the warming made the snow pack dangerously unstable.

Life in limbo caught between seasons except we are supposed to be in the middle of winter. But the days supposedly are getting brighter though we haven’t seen the sun in a while.

Best headlines ever

Naked pair fed LSD gummy worm to dog

Owners of a Noah's Ark replica file a lawsuit over rain damage

In Southcentral Alaska earthquake, damage originated in the ground, engineers say

A headline that could only be written in Alaska: At state cross country, Glacier Bears and Grizzlies sweep, Lynx repeat, Wolverines make history — and a black bear crosses the trail

Man kills self before shooting wife and daughter

Alabama governor candidate caught in lesbian sperm donation scandal

Sister hits moose on way to visit sister who hit moose.

Man caught driving stolen car filled with radioactive uranium, rattlesnake, whiskey

Man loses his testicles after attempting to smoke weed through a SCUBA tank

Church Mutual Insurance won't cover Church's flood damage because it's 'an act of God'

Homicide victims rarely talk to police

Meerkat Expert Attacked Monkey Handler Over Love Affair with Llama Keeper

GOP congressman opposes gun control because gay marriage leads to bestiality

Owner of killer bear chokes to death on sex toy

Support for legalizing pot hits all-time high

Give me all your money or my penguin will explode

How zombie worms have sex in whale bones

Crocodile steals zoo worker's lawn mower

Woman shot by oven while trying to cook waffles

Nude beach blowjob jet ski fight leads to wife's death

Woman stabs husband with squirrel for not buying beer Christmas Eve

GOPer files complaint against Democrat for telling the truth about Big Lie social posts

Man shot dead on Syracuse Street for 2nd time in 2 days

Alaska woman punches bear in face, saves dog

Johnny Rotten suffers flea bite on his penis after rescuing squirrel

Memorable quotations

The best way to know you are having an adventure is when you wish you were home talking about it." — a mechanic on the Alaska State Ferry System. Or as in my own case planning how I will be writing it on this blog.

"You can't promote principled anti-corruption without pissing off corrupt people." — George Kent

"If only the British had held on to the airports, the whole thing might have gone differently for us." — Mick Jagger

"You can do anything as long as you don't scare the horses." — a mother's favorite saying recalled by a friend

A poem is an egg with a horse inside” — anonymous fourth grader

“My children will likely turn my picture to the wall but what the hell, you only get old once." — Joe May

“Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.” — Ernest Hemingway

When I write, I feel like an armless, legless man with a crayon in his mouth. Kurt Vonnegut

“If you wrote something for which someone sent you a cheque, if you cashed the cheque and it didn't bounce, and if you then paid the light bill with the money, I consider you talented.”Stephen King

The thing about ignorance is, you don't have to remain ignorant. — me again"

"It was like the aftermath of an orgasm with the wrong partner." – David Lagercrants “The Girl in the Spider’s Web.”

Why worry about dying, you aren't going to live to regret it.

Never debate with someone who gets ink by the barrel" — George Hayes, former Alaska Attorney General who died recently

My dear Mr. Frost: two roads never diverge in a yellow wood. Three roads meet there. — @Shakespeare on Twitter

Normal is how somebody else thinks you should act.

"The mark of a great shiphandler is never getting into situations that require great shiphandling," Adm. Ernest King, USN

Me: Does the restaurant have cute waitresses?

My friend Gail: All waitresses are cute when you're hungry.

I'm not a writer, but sometimes I push around words to see what happens. – Scott Berry

I realized today how many of my stories start out "years ago." What's next? Once upon a time?"

“The rivers of Alaska are strewn with the bones of men who made but one mistake” - Fred McGarry, a Nushagak Trapper

Many people hear voices when no one is there. Some of them are called mad and are shut up in rooms where they stared at walls all day. Others are called writers and they do pretty much the same thing. – Meg Chittenden

A non-writing writer is a monster courting insanity. – Franz Kafka

We are all immortal until the one day we are not. – me again

If the muse is late, start without her – Peter S. Beagle

Substitute ‘damn’ every time you’re inclined to write ‘very;’ your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be. ~Mark Twain Actually you could do the same thing with the word "really" as in "really cold."

If you are looking for an experience that will temper your vanity, this is it. There's no one to impress when you're alone on the trap line. – Michael Carey quoting his father's journal

Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing. – Benjamin Franklin

It’s nervous work. The state you need to write in is the state that others are paying large sums of money to get rid of. – Shirley Hazzard

So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of intelligence -- Bertrand Russell

You know that I always just wanted to have a small ship to take stuff from a place that had a lot of that stuff to a place that did not have a lot of that stuff and so prosper.—Jackie Faber, “The Wake of the Lorelei Lee”

If you attack the arguer instead of the argument, you lose both

If an insurance company won’t pay for damages caused by an “act of God,” shouldn’t it then have to prove the existence of God? – I said that

I used to think getting old was about vanity—but actually it’s about losing people you love. Getting wrinkles is trivial. – Eugene O’Neill

German General to Swiss General: “You have only 500,000 men in your army; what would you do if I invaded with 1 million men?”

Swiss General: “Well, I suppose every one of my soldiers would need to fire twice.”

Writing is the only thing that when I do it, I don’t feel I should be doing something else.—Gloria Steinem

Exceed your bandwidth—sign on the wall of the maintenance shop at the West Coast/Alaska Tsunami Warning Center

One thing I do know, if you keep at it, you usually wind up getting something done.—Patricia Monaghan

Do you want to know what kind of person makes the best reporter? I’ll tell you. A borderline sociopath. Someone smart, inquisitive, stubborn, disorganized, chaotic, and in a perpetual state of simmering rage at the failings of the world.—Brett Arends

It is a very simple mind that only knows how to spell a word one way.—Andrew Jackson

3:30 is too late or too early to do anything—Rene Descartes

Everything is okay when it’s 50-below as long as everything is okay. – an Alaskan in Tom Walker’s “The Seventymile Kid”

You can have your own opinion but you can’t have your own science.—commenter arguing on a story about polar bears and global warming

He looks at three ex wives as a good start—TV police drama

Talkeetna: A friendly little drinking town with a climbing problem.—a handmade bumper sticker

“You’re either into the wall or into the show”—Marco Andretti on giving it all to qualify last at the 2011 Indy 500

Makeup is not for the faint of heart—the makeup guerrilla

“I’m going to relax in a very adult manner.”—Danica Patrick after sweating it out and qualifying half an hour before Andretti

“Asking Congress to come back is like asking a mugger to come back because he forgot your wallet.”—a roundtable participant on Fox of all places

As Republicans go further back in the conception process to define when life actually begins, I am beginning to think the eventual definition will be life begins in the beer I was drinking when I met her.—me again

Hunting is a “critical element for the long-term conservation of wood bison.”—a state department of Fish and Game official explaining why the state would not go along with a federal plan to reintroduce wood bison in Alaska because the agreement did not specifically allow hunting

Each day do something that won’t compute – anon

I can’t belive I still have to protest this shit – a sign carriend by an elderly woman at an Occupy demonstration

Life should be a little nuts or else it’s just a bunch of Thursdays strung together—Kevin Costner as Beau Burroughs in “Rumor has it”

You’re just a wanker whipping up fear —Irish President Michael D. Higgins to a tea party radio announcer

Being president doesn’t change who you are; it reveals who you are—Michelle Obama

Sports malaprops

Naked pair fed LSD gummy worm to dog

Owners of a Noah's Ark replica file a lawsuit over rain damage

In Southcentral Alaska earthquake, damage originated in the ground, engineers say

A headline that could only be written in Alaska: At state cross country, Glacier Bears and Grizzlies sweep, Lynx repeat, Wolverines make history — and a black bear crosses the trail

Man kills self before shooting wife and daughter

Alabama governor candidate caught in lesbian sperm donation scandal

Sister hits moose on way to visit sister who hit moose.

Man caught driving stolen car filled with radioactive uranium, rattlesnake, whiskey

Man loses his testicles after attempting to smoke weed through a SCUBA tank

Church Mutual Insurance won't cover Church's flood damage because it's 'an act of God'

Homicide victims rarely talk to police

Meerkat Expert Attacked Monkey Handler Over Love Affair with Llama Keeper

GOP congressman opposes gun control because gay marriage leads to bestiality

Owner of killer bear chokes to death on sex toy

Support for legalizing pot hits all-time high

Give me all your money or my penguin will explode

How zombie worms have sex in whale bones

Crocodile steals zoo worker's lawn mower

Woman shot by oven while trying to cook waffles

Nude beach blowjob jet ski fight leads to wife's death

Woman stabs husband with squirrel for not buying beer Christmas Eve

GOPer files complaint against Democrat for telling the truth about Big Lie social posts

Man shot dead on Syracuse Street for 2nd time in 2 days

Alaska woman punches bear in face, saves dog

Johnny Rotten suffers flea bite on his penis after rescuing squirrel