Sunday, July 25, 2010

'And the sign flashed out its warning'

Last winter a pretty healthy storm hit the East Coast. It was the one that shut down Washington, D.C., for a day or so, the one where both Alaska senators made it to work despite the snow and one of them found a delegation from Nome waiting in the office. It was referred to as the storm of the century, pretty presumptuous considering the century was only nine years old and still had Katrina in it. The storm provided the opportunity for every global warming doubter to come out of the woodwork and claim it was all a scam and the proof was in the snow. Even the Governor Interrupted chimed in calling global warming "snake oil science." It was one of those comments that caused the complaint about embarrassing Alaskans blog a while ago.

So, last night a story came across about the triple digit heat wave in the Lower 48 and what people are doing to endure it. One fellow who lives in the watermelon capital of the country said he was even worried about his famous fruit which apparently thrives in the heat. Toward the end of the story, a person from the National Weather Service said June was the warmest month on record since records have been kept and July was shaping up for the same sort of record. In fact, that person said 2010 could be the warmest year in the history of record keeping.

Knowing a little about climate, and meteorology and weather, I am sure this is not the total indication of global warming any more than snowmagedden last February was an indication that global warming is not happening. But, how does the saying go? This silence was deafening.

Not one of those global warming doubters heard from. They will show up shortly though, saying this is only a blip in a natural cycle, which it probably is, and the indication of nothing, even though the blip in the cycle last winter was absolute proof the earth is not warming.

It is kind of a cool, wet summer in Alaska. So, maybe 100-degree temperatures are indicative of nothing as the warming is not universal. Have to wonder what the increased power use to run all those air conditioners is doing for the amount of CO2 in the air and the whole trend of warming. Junk science. But at least it silenced the wackos for a while.

"Hello darkness, my old friend. I've come to talk with you again …"

Monday, July 19, 2010

Not even if the economy runs all the way down

Put this one among jobs I won't be applying for: counselor at an archery camp for blind kids. No kidding, we had a story tonight about people who do this. And none of them look punctured, at least in the pictures with the story.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

A day with a mechanical success


Ever felt a degree of anxiety and not really know what was causing it? I find that happens often. Years ago I developed a system to deal with it. I sat down and made three lists of things that might be bothering me. One list was things I couldn’t do anything about. The second was of things that would take a good deal of time and effort to fix. The third was full of minor things that could be done quickly and easily if only I would just do them. Sometimes those lists grew quite long. Most often though, in the process I would discover the source of my anxiety.

After I had made the lists, though just making the list didn’t always satisfy the anxiety, I always felt a little more like I had things somewhat under control just having quantified the problem. Then I would look at the list of easy things and do one or two of them right away. That accomplished two things. The first was taking a couple items off the list of things that bothered me. The second was in accomplishing something, anything, it made those items on the middle list of more difficult problems a little more accessible and often with new confidence I would at least get things in motion to solve one or two of those. And there was the realization that I can’t really stop the war in Iraq so why let it bother me so much (the list of things I can’t do anything about).

Overall, it did serve to ease the anxiety and it got a few things done that needed doing.
Since I bought this Jeep, the turn signals have been funky. The right one would go on without blinking when the headlights were on. The left one would stop blinking when I hit the brakes. One day the odometer light flashed on and off with the turn signal. A few months ago I had a dealer look at it. After charging me $100 for the diagnosis, they wanted $180 to replace something called the multi-function switch.

I deferred. Then during the second great Alaska relatives trip, one day both the brake lights and the turn signals blew out fuses. I managed to get the brake lights working by leaving the fuse out for the turn signals and we went on with the trip, but the Jeep has been sitting here since then waiting for me to fix it. Mind you, going into the wiring in a steering column is not a chore for the timid. Today, calm and collected, I went out and took the assembly apart just to see how it would go and it went fairly easily. That accomplished I went and bought a new multi-function switch, put it in and everything now multi functions the way it is supposed to. Big deal?

Well, to begin with, it is one item off that anxiety list that has been on there for a year. Jeep is functional again, and, at a cost of $70 and about an hour's work instead of $170 and a day lost going to Anchorage and waiting for it to be done. And, best of all, on a rainy, cloudy dark and dismal day, a mechanical success makes everything seem all right.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Not in my Alaska, you don't

As if all the things I mentioned a couple of days ago that necessitated a trip to the East Pole weren't enough, this came up today. A New York Times travel writer visiting Alaska and apparently bored with wilderness and wildlife decided to do a number on Anchorage and came up with telling folks they just had to visit the cute bistros and boutiques in downtown Anchorage.

Bistros and boutiques???? NOOOOO!!!! It is enough to drive a sourdough deeper into the mountains. She said the city was laid out like a game of Battleship and the slideshow she produced is called Across or Down, Anchorage is Alive. It is here just for proof if you want to look. And, yikes, I have been in one of those places. Just what this place needs. Are we going to be known by our boutiques and bistros.

I remember years ago thinking an awful lot of people moved to Alaska and then demanded all the things they left behind and did what they could to get them here, in the process making this place just like every other place. I was willing to put up with two week delays to watch football games on television as part of the frontier charm of the place. Now we have people demanding the streets get cleaned quickly in spring for the bicyclists. And others wanting all the bears shot so bicyclists can ride on wooded trails along salmon streams in safety. Bicycles have always been the symbol of this endless change but we could just as well substitute the bistros and boutiques that have now caught the attention of the New Jack Times. I had a flash of me walking into one of those places dressed as I do for the East Pole and packing my bear rifle. Put that in your cupcakes, cupcake.

There was a saying in Cleveland around the Cavaliers when we were there. And it fits here: "Get that weak shit out of here." Right Now! And, now the subject of the posting below becomes even more imperative.

But first I have to fix the Jeep

A pirate looks at seventy


Can a boy run away to sea at the age of 67? It looks like we might find out. I have received yet another call of the wild and the wheels, or should we say the sails are in motion. Not giving away too much at this point, but the picture might be a clue. Watch this space.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

But I have to fix the Jeep first

Flower gardens? Lady Gaga? Music history? Weddings? Oil spills? It might be time for a regenerative expotition to the East Pole.

So, tonight there was a 5.25 earthquake 17 miles northwest of Willow which puts it just about right underneath the cabin, and now a trip becomes even more necessary.

Monday, July 5, 2010

Homecoming for a narcissist on the Fourth of July


For a period of time years ago I commuted on the railroad. At the time I remember reading somewhere that the Japanese actually employed people in the subways to push people onto the trains, to make sure they were fully packed. I got the idea the reverse of that might actually be pleasant, the idea that it would be nice to be greeted even when you finished such a simple trip as a commuter train ride. Might actually be a nice job to be a greeter in the subway. Walmart then took the idea to new heights or lows, not sure which.

So later in life when I was making longer voyages including some across the ocean, I was always conscious that no one was ever there to meet me. At times I even fantasized how nice it would be to have someone waiting on the dock at the end of a voyage, someone who really wanted to see me, Never happened,

So last night it was quite the wonderful surprise when I came around the curve where the road opens up along the river and all these people on the gravel shore set off a bunch of colorful fireworks to welcome me home from a long day at work. In a quick survey it looked like there could have been a hundred vehicles parked on the beaches on both sides of the bridge.

Tonight there was an even bigger show, so many fireworks a thick layer of smoke hung in the air over the river. Two nights in a row welcomed home with fireworks can go to a guy’s head.

It could even suppress the vision of fireworks in the rear view mirror as Anchorage celebrated my departure shortly after I left work.

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Garden 2010


It's been in a little more than a month so some progress photos are in order. Thinking I might go for some vegetables next summer. I can still remember shucking peas and the sweet taste of the perfectly ripe freshly picked ones.

Best headlines ever

Naked pair fed LSD gummy worm to dog

Owners of a Noah's Ark replica file a lawsuit over rain damage

In Southcentral Alaska earthquake, damage originated in the ground, engineers say

A headline that could only be written in Alaska: At state cross country, Glacier Bears and Grizzlies sweep, Lynx repeat, Wolverines make history — and a black bear crosses the trail

Man kills self before shooting wife and daughter

Alabama governor candidate caught in lesbian sperm donation scandal

Sister hits moose on way to visit sister who hit moose.

Man caught driving stolen car filled with radioactive uranium, rattlesnake, whiskey

Man loses his testicles after attempting to smoke weed through a SCUBA tank

Church Mutual Insurance won't cover Church's flood damage because it's 'an act of God'

Homicide victims rarely talk to police

Meerkat Expert Attacked Monkey Handler Over Love Affair with Llama Keeper

GOP congressman opposes gun control because gay marriage leads to bestiality

Owner of killer bear chokes to death on sex toy

Support for legalizing pot hits all-time high

Give me all your money or my penguin will explode

How zombie worms have sex in whale bones

Crocodile steals zoo worker's lawn mower

Woman shot by oven while trying to cook waffles

Nude beach blowjob jet ski fight leads to wife's death

Woman stabs husband with squirrel for not buying beer Christmas Eve

GOPer files complaint against Democrat for telling the truth about Big Lie social posts

Man shot dead on Syracuse Street for 2nd time in 2 days

Alaska woman punches bear in face, saves dog

Johnny Rotten suffers flea bite on his penis after rescuing squirrel

Memorable quotations

The best way to know you are having an adventure is when you wish you were home talking about it." — a mechanic on the Alaska State Ferry System. Or as in my own case planning how I will be writing it on this blog.

"You can't promote principled anti-corruption without pissing off corrupt people." — George Kent

"If only the British had held on to the airports, the whole thing might have gone differently for us." — Mick Jagger

"You can do anything as long as you don't scare the horses." — a mother's favorite saying recalled by a friend

A poem is an egg with a horse inside” — anonymous fourth grader

“My children will likely turn my picture to the wall but what the hell, you only get old once." — Joe May

“Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.” — Ernest Hemingway

When I write, I feel like an armless, legless man with a crayon in his mouth. Kurt Vonnegut

“If you wrote something for which someone sent you a cheque, if you cashed the cheque and it didn't bounce, and if you then paid the light bill with the money, I consider you talented.”Stephen King

The thing about ignorance is, you don't have to remain ignorant. — me again"

"It was like the aftermath of an orgasm with the wrong partner." – David Lagercrants “The Girl in the Spider’s Web.”

Why worry about dying, you aren't going to live to regret it.

Never debate with someone who gets ink by the barrel" — George Hayes, former Alaska Attorney General who died recently

My dear Mr. Frost: two roads never diverge in a yellow wood. Three roads meet there. — @Shakespeare on Twitter

Normal is how somebody else thinks you should act.

"The mark of a great shiphandler is never getting into situations that require great shiphandling," Adm. Ernest King, USN

Me: Does the restaurant have cute waitresses?

My friend Gail: All waitresses are cute when you're hungry.

I'm not a writer, but sometimes I push around words to see what happens. – Scott Berry

I realized today how many of my stories start out "years ago." What's next? Once upon a time?"

“The rivers of Alaska are strewn with the bones of men who made but one mistake” - Fred McGarry, a Nushagak Trapper

Many people hear voices when no one is there. Some of them are called mad and are shut up in rooms where they stared at walls all day. Others are called writers and they do pretty much the same thing. – Meg Chittenden

A non-writing writer is a monster courting insanity. – Franz Kafka

We are all immortal until the one day we are not. – me again

If the muse is late, start without her – Peter S. Beagle

Substitute ‘damn’ every time you’re inclined to write ‘very;’ your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be. ~Mark Twain Actually you could do the same thing with the word "really" as in "really cold."

If you are looking for an experience that will temper your vanity, this is it. There's no one to impress when you're alone on the trap line. – Michael Carey quoting his father's journal

Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing. – Benjamin Franklin

It’s nervous work. The state you need to write in is the state that others are paying large sums of money to get rid of. – Shirley Hazzard

So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of intelligence -- Bertrand Russell

You know that I always just wanted to have a small ship to take stuff from a place that had a lot of that stuff to a place that did not have a lot of that stuff and so prosper.—Jackie Faber, “The Wake of the Lorelei Lee”

If you attack the arguer instead of the argument, you lose both

If an insurance company won’t pay for damages caused by an “act of God,” shouldn’t it then have to prove the existence of God? – I said that

I used to think getting old was about vanity—but actually it’s about losing people you love. Getting wrinkles is trivial. – Eugene O’Neill

German General to Swiss General: “You have only 500,000 men in your army; what would you do if I invaded with 1 million men?”

Swiss General: “Well, I suppose every one of my soldiers would need to fire twice.”

Writing is the only thing that when I do it, I don’t feel I should be doing something else.—Gloria Steinem

Exceed your bandwidth—sign on the wall of the maintenance shop at the West Coast/Alaska Tsunami Warning Center

One thing I do know, if you keep at it, you usually wind up getting something done.—Patricia Monaghan

Do you want to know what kind of person makes the best reporter? I’ll tell you. A borderline sociopath. Someone smart, inquisitive, stubborn, disorganized, chaotic, and in a perpetual state of simmering rage at the failings of the world.—Brett Arends

It is a very simple mind that only knows how to spell a word one way.—Andrew Jackson

3:30 is too late or too early to do anything—Rene Descartes

Everything is okay when it’s 50-below as long as everything is okay. – an Alaskan in Tom Walker’s “The Seventymile Kid”

You can have your own opinion but you can’t have your own science.—commenter arguing on a story about polar bears and global warming

He looks at three ex wives as a good start—TV police drama

Talkeetna: A friendly little drinking town with a climbing problem.—a handmade bumper sticker

“You’re either into the wall or into the show”—Marco Andretti on giving it all to qualify last at the 2011 Indy 500

Makeup is not for the faint of heart—the makeup guerrilla

“I’m going to relax in a very adult manner.”—Danica Patrick after sweating it out and qualifying half an hour before Andretti

“Asking Congress to come back is like asking a mugger to come back because he forgot your wallet.”—a roundtable participant on Fox of all places

As Republicans go further back in the conception process to define when life actually begins, I am beginning to think the eventual definition will be life begins in the beer I was drinking when I met her.—me again

Hunting is a “critical element for the long-term conservation of wood bison.”—a state department of Fish and Game official explaining why the state would not go along with a federal plan to reintroduce wood bison in Alaska because the agreement did not specifically allow hunting

Each day do something that won’t compute – anon

I can’t belive I still have to protest this shit – a sign carriend by an elderly woman at an Occupy demonstration

Life should be a little nuts or else it’s just a bunch of Thursdays strung together—Kevin Costner as Beau Burroughs in “Rumor has it”

You’re just a wanker whipping up fear —Irish President Michael D. Higgins to a tea party radio announcer

Being president doesn’t change who you are; it reveals who you are—Michelle Obama

Sports malaprops

Naked pair fed LSD gummy worm to dog

Owners of a Noah's Ark replica file a lawsuit over rain damage

In Southcentral Alaska earthquake, damage originated in the ground, engineers say

A headline that could only be written in Alaska: At state cross country, Glacier Bears and Grizzlies sweep, Lynx repeat, Wolverines make history — and a black bear crosses the trail

Man kills self before shooting wife and daughter

Alabama governor candidate caught in lesbian sperm donation scandal

Sister hits moose on way to visit sister who hit moose.

Man caught driving stolen car filled with radioactive uranium, rattlesnake, whiskey

Man loses his testicles after attempting to smoke weed through a SCUBA tank

Church Mutual Insurance won't cover Church's flood damage because it's 'an act of God'

Homicide victims rarely talk to police

Meerkat Expert Attacked Monkey Handler Over Love Affair with Llama Keeper

GOP congressman opposes gun control because gay marriage leads to bestiality

Owner of killer bear chokes to death on sex toy

Support for legalizing pot hits all-time high

Give me all your money or my penguin will explode

How zombie worms have sex in whale bones

Crocodile steals zoo worker's lawn mower

Woman shot by oven while trying to cook waffles

Nude beach blowjob jet ski fight leads to wife's death

Woman stabs husband with squirrel for not buying beer Christmas Eve

GOPer files complaint against Democrat for telling the truth about Big Lie social posts

Man shot dead on Syracuse Street for 2nd time in 2 days

Alaska woman punches bear in face, saves dog

Johnny Rotten suffers flea bite on his penis after rescuing squirrel