Wednesday, February 24, 2021

East Pole Journal V. II, Episode 11: Inventory

Cut vertically and ready to split
As I sat on an upended chunk of a tree trunk I had cut for firewood enjoying a boketto moment
an answer came to me. I think, that’s what I do. I think. The most common question I hear about living out here amounts to “what do you do all day?” I usually say “I live” and if I have to I point out that everything takes longer in the Bush even the most mundane of household chores. If pressed I go down a list ending in I write sometimes and that usually satisfies the questioner as I have given him something of an acceptable productive effort in my existence that he can understand. As far as thinking goes, it races from subject to subject: failed loves to future loves, fantasies about the ATT girl, past failures, past successes, past arguments argued all over again; sometimes I even argue with Henry David Thoreau. I have 75 years of life to reflect on, you understand.

So there I was today in Boketto mode not thinking about much when I started taking a firewood inventory. This grew very complicated as you will see. To begin with, this chunk I sat on stood among 19 others like it that had been cut into sections ready for splitting. These from the lower trunk are so thick and heavy I can’t split them even with an 18-pound splitting maul, so nine of them already have a vertical cut in them about halfway down. That allows me to make it split with the first crack at it. But, hold on, this is the middle of the story.

First split, easy peasy with the cut 

Firewood makes up the biggest chore of the winter. When I came out I had two cords of birch stacked from last year plus three-fourths of a cord of spruce that I cut for kindling and fire starting. That gave me half a cord a month for the winter. A cord is two rows of split wood cut to wood stove lengths (18-20 inches in my case) and the stacked rows are 8 feet long and 4 feet high.

That’s where I started and once I got settled in the effort to cut firewood began. I point out what I think is the futility of a life spent cutting enough firewood for the next winter so you can be warm while you cut wood for the year after that., and on and on. 

One chunk split
           almost fills a sled
I got that spruce cut down and sectioned and then took down this huge birch I was sitting on. Then disaster. I made a mistake and accidentally took my chainsaw out. Simply imagine what 5/8-inch poly rope would do if it is chewed up by a chainsaw and strands of it crammed though moving machinery as it melts in the heat. Done. I drove more than 100 miles round trip to buy a new saw. Then. Get this, I could not get it started. And, get this: the little bit I had been able to run it, it didn’t seem to be big enough to handle the huge birch I am sitting on. Near the base the trunk is 18 to 20 inches in diameter. The saw bar is 18 inches. I had to make that drive again, in the back of my mind thinking maybe they’d let me trade it in on a bigger one, but, no, they got it running. Back home, I spent the better part of a week but still couldn’t start it. Frustrated, I went to a more local dealer who sells the same brand of saw and I went there and bought a bigger one. Got it home, and guess what, I couldn’t get this one to start either. So I took it back. This time only 30-miles round trip plus the 14 on the snowmachine.

With some advice and some demonstration from these new people I finally got it started, though not without flooding it a couple of times. I decided enough was enough dedicated last Sunday to starting both saws before I did anything else and by 1 p.m. I had them both running.


Mind you, the pressure to get firewood in for next winter had consumed my mind and actions for weeks. If I couldn’t do that it might end the adventure. I even considered bugging out, but there’s this. I have nowhere to go.

Then, with the saws running, Monday, I started in earnest and have made great progress since
.

Long way to go, even some under
the snow up toward the stump.
But, there has been other pressure, too. We have had a cold snap for almost three weeks now and temperatures constantly flirting with zero. As a result my firewood consumption increased considerably and I used up my February ration almost a week ahead of time. Normally at this time of year as most days the temperature gets up into the 20s I stoke the fire up in the morning and then let it go out over the course of the day. That’s five or six hours when I am not burning wood. Now, I was going to be able to fill up for next year but it looked seriously like I might run out this year. To top it off, that beetle-killed spruce I cut earlier still showed 16% moisture despite being dead for at least three years and would not burn. That was supposed to be my backup.

So today while I am splitting big chunks of birch and taking it to the stack, I found another half a stack of last year’s. Then I tried some more of that spruce on a going fire and darned if it didn’t flame up.

If at this point someone had come along and encountered me, he would have seen a totally satisfied man in a boketto trance with a big smile on my face. Then I had this thought: I sympathize with those folks in Texas, they really aren’t prepared for what amounts to a day in the life for an Alaskan. Still I would love to tell one of them that I just stopped working in mid-20s weather because I was sweating too much. The last thought before I stood up and began the trek pulling a sled full of split wood to the house was that solving a problem so seemingly insignificant as starting a chainsaw could change a whole outlook on life.

 

Oh, yeah. “Boketto.” It’s a Japanese word that loosely means staring off into the distance blankly with nothing on your mind. I do that a lot.


East Pole Journal

 

Posted by at
Labels: , , ,

No comments:

Post a Comment

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)

Best headlines ever

Naked pair fed LSD gummy worm to dog

Owners of a Noah's Ark replica file a lawsuit over rain damage

In Southcentral Alaska earthquake, damage originated in the ground, engineers say

A headline that could only be written in Alaska: At state cross country, Glacier Bears and Grizzlies sweep, Lynx repeat, Wolverines make history — and a black bear crosses the trail

Man kills self before shooting wife and daughter

Alabama governor candidate caught in lesbian sperm donation scandal

Sister hits moose on way to visit sister who hit moose.

Man caught driving stolen car filled with radioactive uranium, rattlesnake, whiskey

Man loses his testicles after attempting to smoke weed through a SCUBA tank

Church Mutual Insurance won't cover Church's flood damage because it's 'an act of God'

Homicide victims rarely talk to police

Meerkat Expert Attacked Monkey Handler Over Love Affair with Llama Keeper

GOP congressman opposes gun control because gay marriage leads to bestiality

Owner of killer bear chokes to death on sex toy

Support for legalizing pot hits all-time high

Give me all your money or my penguin will explode

How zombie worms have sex in whale bones

Crocodile steals zoo worker's lawn mower

Woman shot by oven while trying to cook waffles

Nude beach blowjob jet ski fight leads to wife's death

Woman stabs husband with squirrel for not buying beer Christmas Eve

GOPer files complaint against Democrat for telling the truth about Big Lie social posts

Man shot dead on Syracuse Street for 2nd time in 2 days

Alaska woman punches bear in face, saves dog

Johnny Rotten suffers flea bite on his penis after rescuing squirrel

Memorable quotations

The best way to know you are having an adventure is when you wish you were home talking about it." — a mechanic on the Alaska State Ferry System. Or as in my own case planning how I will be writing it on this blog.

"You can't promote principled anti-corruption without pissing off corrupt people." — George Kent

"If only the British had held on to the airports, the whole thing might have gone differently for us." — Mick Jagger

"You can do anything as long as you don't scare the horses." — a mother's favorite saying recalled by a friend

A poem is an egg with a horse inside” — anonymous fourth grader

“My children will likely turn my picture to the wall but what the hell, you only get old once." — Joe May

“Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.” — Ernest Hemingway

When I write, I feel like an armless, legless man with a crayon in his mouth.― Kurt Vonnegut

“If you wrote something for which someone sent you a cheque, if you cashed the cheque and it didn't bounce, and if you then paid the light bill with the money, I consider you talented.”―Stephen King

The thing about ignorance is, you don't have to remain ignorant. — me again"

"It was like the aftermath of an orgasm with the wrong partner." – David Lagercrants “The Girl in the Spider’s Web.”

Why worry about dying, you aren't going to live to regret it.

Never debate with someone who gets ink by the barrel" — George Hayes, former Alaska Attorney General who died recently

My dear Mr. Frost: two roads never diverge in a yellow wood. Three roads meet there. — @Shakespeare on Twitter

Normal is how somebody else thinks you should act.

"The mark of a great shiphandler is never getting into situations that require great shiphandling," Adm. Ernest King, USN

Me: Does the restaurant have cute waitresses?

My friend Gail: All waitresses are cute when you're hungry.

I'm not a writer, but sometimes I push around words to see what happens. – Scott Berry

I realized today how many of my stories start out "years ago." What's next? Once upon a time?"

“The rivers of Alaska are strewn with the bones of men who made but one mistake” - Fred McGarry, a Nushagak Trapper

Many people hear voices when no one is there. Some of them are called mad and are shut up in rooms where they stared at walls all day. Others are called writers and they do pretty much the same thing. – Meg Chittenden

A non-writing writer is a monster courting insanity. – Franz Kafka

We are all immortal until the one day we are not. – me again

If the muse is late, start without her – Peter S. Beagle

Substitute ‘damn’ every time you’re inclined to write ‘very;’ your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be. ~Mark Twain Actually you could do the same thing with the word "really" as in "really cold."

If you are looking for an experience that will temper your vanity, this is it. There's no one to impress when you're alone on the trap line. – Michael Carey quoting his father's journal

Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing. – Benjamin Franklin

It’s nervous work. The state you need to write in is the state that others are paying large sums of money to get rid of. – Shirley Hazzard

So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of intelligence -- Bertrand Russell

You know that I always just wanted to have a small ship to take stuff from a place that had a lot of that stuff to a place that did not have a lot of that stuff and so prosper.—Jackie Faber, “The Wake of the Lorelei Lee”

If you attack the arguer instead of the argument, you lose both

If an insurance company won’t pay for damages caused by an “act of God,” shouldn’t it then have to prove the existence of God? – I said that

I used to think getting old was about vanity—but actually it’s about losing people you love. Getting wrinkles is trivial. – Eugene O’Neill

German General to Swiss General: “You have only 500,000 men in your army; what would you do if I invaded with 1 million men?”

Swiss General: “Well, I suppose every one of my soldiers would need to fire twice.”

Writing is the only thing that when I do it, I don’t feel I should be doing something else.—Gloria Steinem

Exceed your bandwidth—sign on the wall of the maintenance shop at the West Coast/Alaska Tsunami Warning Center

One thing I do know, if you keep at it, you usually wind up getting something done.—Patricia Monaghan

Do you want to know what kind of person makes the best reporter? I’ll tell you. A borderline sociopath. Someone smart, inquisitive, stubborn, disorganized, chaotic, and in a perpetual state of simmering rage at the failings of the world.—Brett Arends

It is a very simple mind that only knows how to spell a word one way.—Andrew Jackson

3:30 is too late or too early to do anything—Rene Descartes

Everything is okay when it’s 50-below as long as everything is okay. – an Alaskan in Tom Walker’s “The Seventymile Kid”

You can have your own opinion but you can’t have your own science.—commenter arguing on a story about polar bears and global warming

He looks at three ex wives as a good start—TV police drama

Talkeetna: A friendly little drinking town with a climbing problem.—a handmade bumper sticker

“You’re either into the wall or into the show”—Marco Andretti on giving it all to qualify last at the 2011 Indy 500

Makeup is not for the faint of heart—the makeup guerrilla

“I’m going to relax in a very adult manner.”—Danica Patrick after sweating it out and qualifying half an hour before Andretti

“Asking Congress to come back is like asking a mugger to come back because he forgot your wallet.”—a roundtable participant on Fox of all places

As Republicans go further back in the conception process to define when life actually begins, I am beginning to think the eventual definition will be life begins in the beer I was drinking when I met her.—me again

Hunting is a “critical element for the long-term conservation of wood bison.”—a state department of Fish and Game official explaining why the state would not go along with a federal plan to reintroduce wood bison in Alaska because the agreement did not specifically allow hunting

Each day do something that won’t compute – anon

I can’t belive I still have to protest this shit – a sign carriend by an elderly woman at an Occupy demonstration

Life should be a little nuts or else it’s just a bunch of Thursdays strung together—Kevin Costner as Beau Burroughs in “Rumor has it”

You’re just a wanker whipping up fear —Irish President Michael D. Higgins to a tea party radio announcer

Being president doesn’t change who you are; it reveals who you are—Michelle Obama

Sports malaprops

Commenting on an athlete with hearing impairment he said the player didn’t show any “uncomfortability.” “He's not doing things he can't do."

"… there's a fearlessment about him …"

"He's got to have the lead if he's going to win this race." "

"Kansas has always had the ability to score with the basketball."

"NFL to put computer chips in balls." Oh, that's gotta hurt.

"Now that you're in the finals you have to run the race that's going to get you on the podium."

"It's very important for both sides that they stay on their feet."

This is why you get to hate sportscasters. Kansas beats Texas for the first time since 1938. So the pundits open their segment with the question "let's talk about what went wrong." Wrong? Kansas WON a football game! That's what went RIGHT!

"I brought out the thermostat to show you how cold it is here." Points to a thermometer reading zero in Minneapolis.

"It's tough to win on the road when you turn the ball over." Oh, really? Like you can do all right if you turn the ball over playing at home?

Cliches so embedded in sportscasters' minds they can't help themselves: "Minnesota fell from the ranks of the undefeated today." What ranks? They were the only undefeated team left.

A good one: A 5'10" player went up and caught a pass off a defensive back over six feet tall. The quote? "He's got some hops."

Best homonym of the day so far: "It's all tied. Alabama 34, Kentucky 3." Oh, Tide.

"Steve Hooker commentates on his Olympic pole vault gold medal." When "comments" just won't do.

"He's certainly capable of the top ten, maybe even higher than that."

"Atlanta is capable of doing what they're doing."

"Biyombo, one of seven kids from the Republic of Congo." In the NBA? In America? In his whole country?

"You can't come out and be aggressive but you can't come out and be unaggressive."

"They're gonna be in every game they play!"

"First you have to get two strikes on the hitter before you get the strikeout."

"The game ended in the final seconds." You have to wonder when the others ended or are they still going on?

How is a team down by one touchdown before the half "totally demoralized?"

"If they score runs they will win."

"I think the matchup is what it is"

After a play a Houston defender was on his knees, his head on the ground and his hand underneath him appeared to clutch a very sensitive part of the male anatomy. He rolled onto his back and quickly removed his hand. (Remember the old Cosby routine "you cannot touch certain parts of your body?") Finally they helped the guy to the sideline and then the replay was shown. In it the guy clearly took a hard knee between his thighs. As this was being shown, one of the announcers says, "It looks like he hurt his shoulder." The other agrees and then they both talk about how serious a shoulder injury can be. Were we watching the same game?

"Somebody is going to be the quarterback or we're going to see a new quarterback."

"That was a playmaker making a play.”