Saturday, September 12, 2026

A huge loophole?

Alaska politics: Does anyone else question this? There are several ads showing up on TV in which a purported Alaskan praises Sen. Dan Sullivan for something he supposedly did. Then the pitch at the end is to call him at the given phone number and thank him for a doing a good job. No mention of the election. No mention of politics and no encouragement to vote for him, just call him with a compliment. So, does this not come under election law and allow excessive spending, lies or any other legal restrictions on campaigning? Is Sullivan or some super PAC pulling a fast one in order to accept and spend more than the law allows?

The culprit:  https://www.influencewatch.org/non-profit/one-nation-2/

Monday, September 7, 2026

Th early Years Part II Late 1996 to 2004

 

Tuesday November 26, 1996

We came in for Thanksgiving. We brought in a new chair for kids that folds into a bed. On the way in his mom's sled broke. We got to the Earth station around 3 pm. Bob Rosenberg was there and said he had seen bear tracks in the trail. Everything went smoothly. We could still see where I broke through the ice at Whisky Slough a couple of weeks earlier. We ate too much soup. No bears,

Wednesday, November 27, 1996

About +10 F at wakeup. We could see the mountain for part of the day. It started snowing in the evening. I went out and got the rest of our stuff. Did a big 3-D puzzle. Justin won at Trivial Pursuit. Built a big Lego house and got ourselves orcanized.

Thursday November 28, 1996

Snowed lightly all day. temp +20˚F. Rollie, Mary, Melissa and Megan Ostermick came out for Thanksgiving. The two girls (in their teens) skijored all the way in. Then with Justin they played all afternoon including making a big trail down our sledding hill. The adults talked all afternoon while we prepared dinner and drank cranberry slush with a little vodka mixed in it. Went out around 9 p.m. to. get the Ostermicks home and I didn't get back until 11. The trail was good and fast. I noticed what looked like several moose bed indentations in the snow near the trail up to the cabin

Friday November 29, 1996

Snowed lightly in the morning, 10-20˚, The mountain came out for a little while. Temp turned colder in the evening.

Justin had a long nap. Then he and his mother did a lot of playing in the snow, sledding and even made a sled jump. I tried to make a trail up to the lake but didn't get the whole way. I fixed the other snowmachine. Ridlings are in across the trail. They said they saw a big bull moose in   the swamp area. I won at trivia.

Saturday November 30, 1996

5˚ at wakeup.

Justin took his snowboard in deep snow to the lake. He even passed me on the snowmachine where I was stuck on the way. Then he and I went over to the Ridling's where he played with the kids while John told me about that moose. It was a big bull ran and right at them. they took off and it followed them for a minute or two.

In the afternoon all the kids came over to our place and everybody took to our sled hill. After that almost worn out, most of the kids went back to their cabin, all but Josh who stayed to play with Justin indoors for a while. We all worked on a puzzle. Outside the clouds faded a little but the mountain never came out. Snow started toward evening. Justin' mom skied for a while until she learned about that moose. I made Justin's desk ready to take back to Valdez. He drove the machine almost all the way home. About 10˚ in the evening. We go out tomorrow.

Saturday December 21, 1996

Clear and 18˚ Mountain was out all day. I was already there; Justin and his mother came over from Valdez today. They arrived at the trailhead around 2:30 p.m. Had been using her snowmachine because mine was in the shop having quit from the dunking it got in Whiskey Slough about a month earlier. I moved to the four-wheeler (OK as long as the trail remained clear and hard packed). Justin rode with his mom. The cabin was. warm and everything was in its place. I had brought most of our supplies when I came out earlier. Reasonably calm for a first day, but tired we all went to bed early.

Sunday December 22, 1996

Clear and 10 to 20˚ Mountain was out all day. Got the Christmas tree, best one yet. Set it up in the northwest corner. Justin won the Garfield game. We took it easy all day;

Monday December 23, 1996.

The day before the day before Christmas

Clear and sunny for one of the shortest days of the year, 10-20˚ Mountain was out. We woke up early enough to see a spectacular moonset over the mountain.

I cut a dead spruce down for firewood but the chainsaw wasn't working very well and I had to stop before bucking it up into stove lengths. Justin and his mom made a fort in the branches. Then then they went for a walk around Squirrel Hill. Later she went across the big hill, coming down the big slope behind the house.

Tuesday December 24, 1996. Christmas Eve

10˚ at wakeup and a bright full moon moving through a few clouds, and we saw another spectacular moonset.  

The pile of presents under the tree looked bigger. Justin and I went out the trail all the way to Talkeetna for some ice cream. He ate two fudgesicles. We saw four moose including a big bull still sporting antlers. I wondered if it was the one that chased John Ridling at Thanksgiving and we kept our distance. When we returned, the pile of presents looked bigger. Justn and his mother went sledding for a while and worked on their fort in the fallen tree at the bottom of the hill. They uncovered a pile of moose nuggets. (In winter moose nibble on twigs for sustenance and as a result leave droppings consisting mostly of digested wood in the form of nuggets.) When they came back the pile of presents looked even bigger. I read Justin some of "The Hobbit" and he fell asleep. So did his mom. When they woke up they said the presents pile looked bigger. Outside we heard Boone's trail howl as he chased squirrels.

Later we had dinner and let Justin open one present. He was worried Santa wouldn't find us out here in the woods. I told him I would take care of that and I went about lighting up a runway for Santa. I had planned for this. I took a box of votive candles and a bunch of brown sandwich bags and headed down the trail. At intervals, I spread open a bag, put a candle in it, and lighted it. When I finished we had a lighted landing strip all the way out to the main trail. That satisfied Justin and he stood for several minutes looking out the picture window at the curving line of lights on the trail.

Temperature 0˚ at 7:30 pm.

Wednesday December 25, 1996. Christmas Day

10˚ to 20 ˚ and. clear with mountains all day. Justin rose very early but we held him back, only allowed opening his stocking. We ate a quick breakfast and then tackled the pile of presents. Three moose were hanging around at the bottom of the hill most of the morning. I called them "Christmoose." At one point Boone chased a moose but he gave up quickly fighting deep snow that the moose got through much easier than he did. Mom and dad were kind of grumpy all day for lack of sleep.

Thursday December 26, 1996.

10-20˚ Clear and the mountains were out. 

Morning light
 We went over to the creek for water. Justin took a walk over the new bridge. Later Johnny came over to play. We played 13 Dead End Drive. Dull day.

Friday December 27, 1996.

Clear and warmer, above 20˚ Me moping all day for some reason. Justin and his mother went sledding for a while.  I asked Sue when she called John if she would ask if he would bring me back a bar and chain for my chainsaw. We visited with the Ridlings for a while and came home late. I read Justin a little more of "The Hobbit."

Saturday December 28, 1996.

Clear, 5˚ at wakeup. Mountains out with some thin clouds overhead.  

Saturday December 28, 1996.

Clear, 5˚ at wakeup. Mountains out with some thin clouds overhead. 

We had another moose in the yard all morning. Joh brought over the parts for the chainsaw and I worked on that until I had it running again. An uneventful day.

Sunday December 29, 1996.

Getting colder, temperature dropped to zero overflight. I got the chainsaw running and bucked up the rest of that tree I cut and started hauling the chunks up to the house for splitting, cursing Henry David Thoreau the whole time. You see Thoreau wrote wood warms you twice, once when you split and again when you burn it. It's obvious he had his firewood delivered. I have counted at least six warming points in the process. Here's some more about that. Firewood and Revery I also put two wedges on the center support for the floor.

Monday December 30, 1996.

Clear and cold again. You could tell January was coming. Minus 10˚ at wakeup, rose to +10 during the day. We went up to the lake and Justin ran the snowmachine a little more. I noticed sunlight reflecting off the snow part way down the hillside on the lake's south shore, another sign January was approaching. The high hill on the south side of the cabin blocks the sun from around Thanksgiving until early January. The return of the light is almost festive. I usually noticed it January 14 which is Justin's birthday. If it happened on a certain day of the week, I called it Sun day, Son day. Sunday. We climbed up into the sunshine and reveled in it for a while. Justin's mother skijored all around the lake twice. We went over to John and Sue's for a while after dinner.

Tuesday December 31, 1996.

Minus 10˚ When we woke up. I made a quick trip out to refill the propane tank and (of course) pick up some ice cream. When I came back Justin and I headed for the creek to refill the water containers. His mother didn't feel well and took it easy all day. I hauled a bunch of wood chunks up the hill to the chopping block.

I roasted a rack of lamb in the Webber for New Year's Eve dinner. We had our New Year's bonfire but we all fell asleep before midnight.

Wednesday January 1, 1997.

5˚ below at wakeup. Justin and his mother spent couple of hours adding to their tree fort at the bottom of the hill. I spent most of the rest of the day dealing with the firewood. It's a never-ending chore. We played Trivia in the evening and I won.

Thursday January 2, 1997.

We went out today to see the movie "Space Jam." Then Justin and his mother went on to Valdez while I came back and spent the next three days trying to get in as much firewood as possible and get the cabin in order as I wasn't sure when we'd be back.

 

Clouds were forming and not the nice fluffy ones like you see in the sky.

Wednesday March 26, 1997

Clear all day flirting with 40 degrees, then down to 10˚ at night. I had come out alone and this day drove to Wasilla to meet Justin and his mother and then bring him back to the cabin with me. His mother and I had separated and a nasty divorce epic was beginning. We had an easy trip in to the cabin and played around for most of the day. As a special treat in the evening we spotted the Hale Bopp Comet out the big window and there was still enough light to make out the mountains underneath it. (As usual when I spot something exciting I forgot I owned a camera.) We also heard two different kinds of owls hooting in the woods.

Thursday March 27, 1997

Clear. Warm during the day, cold at night. Mountains were out all day. We went sledding. I cut up a huge spruce tree that had fallen across our trail — firewood lengths. We saw several squirrels over the day. We played several games. Justin said I snore very loud. John Ridling came up for dinner. We spotted Hale Bopp again. We started reading "Lord of the Rings."

Friday March 28, 1997

Clear and the mountains were out all day. On days like this I often stop and gaze across the hills to the mountains and simply appreciate where I am. Warm in the days, cold in the night, perfect March weather. I hauled all the wood from the blowdown up the hill for splitting. In the afternoon we went for a snowmachine ride. Justin drove almost two miles, (Understand, I sit behind him on the seat and hold him in place and always ready to correct a mistake.) After a while he complained his thumb hurt. I tried to show him how to hold throttle deep against his skin between his thumb and first finger, but his hand was just too small. When we returned I split some of the spruce firewood, a lot easier than birch. The mountain turned pink in the sunset as we waited to see Hale Bopp again.

Saturday March 29, 1997

Clear again at wakeup and all day. 10˚ to 40˚ We could see the mountains all day. We made a trip to Larson creek for water and Justin broke a bunch of hard ice by throwing rocks. Back at the cabin Justin had some fun playing race to the outhouse. John came up for dinner again. Hale Bopp showed up and Justin said it was little and had one face (whatever that means). He went to bed early to wait for the Easter Bunny.

Sunday March 30, 1997

Clear again, 10˚ at wakeup. Easter! Justin followed a trail of chocolate eggs (indoors) to a Hot Wheels Easter basket. We Had to leave that day.

[NOTE: Life there became interrupted by large gaps between trips to the cabin. The divorce turned serious. I thought through several paths I could follow. I finally decided to build a new house in the same neighborhood, not visible to each other, but close enough for Justin to run back and forth. I had to focus on building and legalities for a while.]

Thursday July 3, 1997 (3 months)

            House building materials had been held up so we went to the cabin.  All the way from Valdez to the cabin in one shot, got there at 2 p.m. after taking a couple of breaks along the trail. Made it all the way up to the cabin on the four-wheeler. Temperature was HOT, not used to that here. Later I drove out to the landing where Larson Creek flows into the Talkeetna River to pick up some things for the Ridlings. We had hamburgers for dinner at their house. Justin ate two.

Friday July 4, 1997

Sunny and hot, with clouds over toward the mountains blocking the view. I split some more firewood and cleared a path to the outhouse. I also built steps to the deck. Justin entertained himself occupied with his toys. A thunder storm cooled things off a bit. We had a steak dinner with John and Sue Ridling. Justin actually ate some cantaloupe. We rode around a little on the four-wheeler while we drove back to our cabin. Went to bed around 10 pm.

Saturday July 5, 1997

            Overcast in the morning, partly cloudy in the afternoon. I cut some logs that had fallen in the main trail to add to our firewood pile and then dug out an ugly stump near the house. At 3 we went fishing at the mouth of Larson Creek. We didn't catch any fish but we had another thunderstorm while we were there. We came home, ate dinner, then cleaned the place up because we had to go out the next day.

Sunday July 6, 1997

Saw a woodpecker in the morning and Justin called to some ravens. Then we headed for Valdez.

 

Friday August 29, 1997

Justin and I came in today, Sunny and hot. The trail was full of puddles. Justin had to walk around some of them. We reached the cabin around 3 in the afternoon. A bear had been there. The hammer that I use to nail the bearboards in place to protect windows and the door had been knocked off the window shelf where I left it and the shelf had been chewed. That shelf is outside of a kitchen window over the cooking stove and any number of food scents could have been engrained in the wood. Also some Visqueen I'd covered some firewood with was torn up. A plastic gasoline and some foam insulation panels had also been pulled out from under the east end of the cabin. There were claw and tooth marks in the panel pieces. As bad as that may sound, I was pretty proud of myself; the damage was minimal and the bear had not been able to enter the house. Inside we played some games and had lunch for dinner. At least Justin did.

Saturday August 30, 1997

Rain drizzled on and off all day. We stayed indoors most of the day and played several games. When we tired of that we dug out the Legos and build the large sheriff's office and jail. When the drizzle finally let up I went out and dug up two more stumps that had been in the way of the snowmachine for years. Justin won a Trivia game for about the fifth time. I won only once. We had steak and noodles. We went to bed early.

Sunday August 31, 1997

It rained hard during the night and all day. We are going out today after lunch so we spent the morning preparing the cabin for a long vacancy. With all the rain we expected the puddles in the trail will be even worse than when we came in and that proved true. WE were covered with mud and soaked by the time we got to the trailhead and had to change clothes and take off our boots before we got into the car.

[NOTE: There is a huge gap in the narrative, almost a year. The materials to build that house in Valdez were scheduled to arrive in the first two weeks of September and I went to work, interspersed with demands of my job. I had gotten far enough to move in by mid-February but there was still a lot of inside work to be done. And the cabin sort of lost its priority as I adjusted to this new life of having Justin every other week. I agreed to let his mother (who was a teacher) keep him over the summer vacation. The result was I didn't get back to the East Pole until late May 1998.]

Saturday May 23, 1998

Justin and I came in today over a trail that was muddy and difficult. We got stuck three times going up Jeep hill.  (The first, biggest, toughest hill on the trail.) After that it was better but still muddy. We got to the cabin around 1pm, washed ourselves and changed clothes. Then we went down to John and Sue's. I went to the Larson Creek landing to pick up some gear a boat had left for them there, two trips. That done we went back to our cabin for a while and took a rest. Then we went back down the hill for dinner. Justin ate a lot. first hamburger, then steak. After dinner we came back and fell asleep listening to The Green Hornet.

Sunday May 24, 1998

We slept late and played most of the morning, Had breakfast at 10:30. Played Junior Trivia and Justin won again. We took a nap until 3:30. Then we went back down to John and Sue’s and the kids played for a while the everyone trudged up to our place where they played outside. We went back there for dinner and let the kids shoot off some bottle rockets. Back home and ready for bed at 9:30. Out tomorrow.

Sunday May 24, 1998

Overcast. 45˚ We took John and Sue's stuff to the Larson Creek landing. Justin spotted a moose and thought it was a horse at first. It was just starting to grow antlers. We left at 9:15 for the trip back to Valdez.

 

Friday July 3, 1998

Partly cloudy and warm. It rained all night. We came all the way from Valdez in one day. Rached the cabin around 2 pm. Everything was fine. We saw a whole family of spruce grouse in the trail. The hen played. broken-wing to guide us away from the chicks. The trail was almost dry and in good shape. Justin got a BB gun and can shoot it very well at the age of 8. We made a no-bake cheesecake and took it down for dinner with the Ridlings. We didn’t get back home until 1 a.m.

Saturday July 4, 1998

Rained all night, warm and cloudy all day. We got up late, ate breakfast, then played a game of Garfield. Played Sorry too. Justin won 2 out of 3. Then we went down to John and Sue's and Justin and Tres played Star Wars. After that we went to the creek for water. Came home and took a nap. Fireworks tonight. We hung around the house until early evening then went back to the Ridlings' place and set off our fireworks. We took a round-about4-wheeler ride going home to bed. In bed we read a lot of Garfield.

Sunday July 5, 1998

Overcast 55˚. We are on our way out at 9 a.m.

 

Sunday August 16, 1998

Rain! We came in today in the rain. The trail was full of puddles. It took almost two hours to come in on the four-wheeler. Everything fine at the cabin. The rest of the day it would rain hard and then the sun would come out for a while then the rain returned. A lot of wet clothing hanging around the place. We played Milles Bournes.

Monday August 17, 1998

We went to Talkeetna to meet visiting relatives Larry, Gretchen and their daughter Kelly. Instead of hiking, they rode up. to the Larson Creek landing in a boat while I drove back on the four-wheeler. Justin went with them. It would be his first trip on the river. I had filled three jugs with water from the creek by the time they arrived, we loaded their gear into the trailer and headed for the cabin, everybody hiking and me on the four-wheeler. I managed to get stuck in a puddle and put Justin on the wheeler to drive while I waded in behind and pushed. A fellow hiking down the trail came over to help push and we got it out. The relatives didn't have the footwear to slog through a deep, long puddle. At the cabin we relaxed and talked for a while — lots of questions to answer. Justin showed them his BB gun and he and Kelly and then Larry took turns shooting. That led to the .22 and more shooting. I roasted a big chateaubriand in the Weber for dinner. After dinner we chatted while Justin, Kelly and Larry played Trivial Pursuit. Tuesday August 18, 1998

Clearing and sunny in the morning but the temperature had dropped to 35˚. After breakfast we played a huge game of Monopoly. I won that one. Then we had lunch and traipsed back to the Larson Creek landing to meet the river boat coming to take them back. When the boat arrived we said our good-byes and waved as they headed back down the river. Back at the cabin we played Dungeon and recovered, had a dinner of leftovers and read to the end of Treasure Island.

Wednesday August 19, 1998

34˚ at wakeup and the mountains are out. Lots of cleaning and putting things away so we can go out today. With two days of sunshine the trail had improve and the trip out proved uneventful.

 

Saturday December 26, 1998 (Christmas Eve for us. Custody, you know.)

We came in all the way from Valdez in one shot. Justn drove the new snowmachine all the way. First time. Yay! Temperature was zero inside the cabin when we got there. This was one of those times I had a fire all laid out in the stove and got it going with one match. I started up the cook stove and made us some warm split pea soup. In about two hours the cabin had. warmed to 60 degrees. Wee brought in our supplies and then went down to Ridlings' for a few minutes where we had turkey sandwiches from their Christmas dinner. Then back to our place where two exhausted guys went to sleep early.

 

 Sunday December 27, 1998

0˚ when we woke up. The mountain shined bright in. pink alpenglow. WE straightened things up, then headed out for the trailhead to greet some guests. Friends Vince and Jennie Kelly were coming in with their daughters Linnea and Malaika. Justin drove one machine with me pulling a sled with Jennie and baby Linnea. Vince drove the other with Malaika riding behind him on the seat.

 

 The whole thing

Monday, August 17, 2026

Beat smoking and inflation at the same time

 How's this for frugality in an age of inflation? I have been chewing nicotine gum since I quit smoking in 2004 — probably 5 to 10 pieces a day. That sometimes led to three boxes a month at $31.99 a pop. (Expensive but cheaper than cigarettes) There came a day when every store that sold the kind I wanted ran out of stock. I tried to gut my way through by cutting back on what I had left and in the process reached the point where I only had one a day. Now, get this: I found out I could go a whole day on one piece and have been doing that ever since with a few exceptions and get this I kept track and the last time I bought a box was June 1. Two and a half months on what I used to use up to three per month. Oddly the price is still the same, $31.99 for 110 pieces. However I noticed a year or so ago the maker had reduced the size of the pieces somewhat. (Inflation by deflation? 😂) I'm still ahead.

Sunday, August 16, 2026

Oh the joys of writing

Here's another one of those "memories" conversations


Shared with Your friends
Ah the joys of the writer's life. I just received a royalty check for $1.44. One dollar and forty-four cents. Partaaaayyyy!
Gail Somerville
How will you ever decide what to spend it on? Hahaha
Shelley Gill
I have six books with one publisher. Have yet to get a check. Twenty five books and I work as a naturalist and do school visits. Shoulda been anything else.
Tim Jones
We don't do it for the money, that's for sure.
Shelley Gill
I used to write a book a year. Now I'm trying for three a year.
Tim Jones
I have been working on the current one for more than five years. If it ever gets finished and sells the hourly wage might be in the negatives
Michele Vincent
That'll buy a can of beer from the local 7-11
Sharon Wright
Buy stamps for your next submissions!
Tim Jones
It's all done on line these days.
Suzy Peakall
Don't know whether to cry or laugh at this one!
Kitty Delorey Fleischman
Sounds much like the magazine world.
Helen Hegener
I gave up on the traditionals a decade ago, never looked back, never been sorry. I'm not getting rich, but it's keeping me happy.
Tom Walker
Whooooo-hoooooo.
Tim Jones
Ha ha you got one too.
Tom Walker
Tim Jones no, I didnt. Nada
Tim Jones
You should have, it was our book. I'm not sure which is worse, getting a royalty check for $1.44 or not getting a royalty check for $1.44.
(In a more recent time I received $500 from Cruising World for an article they never printed) 

Saturday, July 25, 2026

Somebody had to say something

Political comment for the day:There's a candidate for governor of Alaska named Treg Taylor. You may have seen his ads claiming he will stop those nasty Outside liberals coming here to fight for the woke agenda and protect Alaska from the antifa coming North. He prides himself on being an Alaskan having been born here. It is like he's pointing a finger at me as one of those liberal outsiders. Well here's the deal: you pride yourself in being a born Alaskan but I, an incomer with a long history as a liberal, have lived here longer than you have. Too, I came here by choice rather than dropped in a simple natural process. My experience as a child whose formative years were lived elsewhere let's call it development and education and I arrived a full-grown adult by choice. That gives me about another 20 years jump start as opposed to your birth and childhood isolated here.The point is I and a whole lot of people like me have just as much of a solid claim to being Alaskan as you. And you in claiming support for the current president are the one inviting damaging and dangerous and mostly outdated ideals north. The truth is, we are all Alaskans but, FYI, it's not 2024 anymore. 

UPDATE: He came in fifth in ranked choice voting, then was disqualified for financing violations. His wife tried to take his place, but she faced the same charges,

 

More politics 

Best headlines ever

Naked pair fed LSD gummy worm to dog

Owners of a Noah's Ark replica file a lawsuit over rain damage

In Southcentral Alaska earthquake, damage originated in the ground, engineers say

A headline that could only be written in Alaska: At state cross country, Glacier Bears and Grizzlies sweep, Lynx repeat, Wolverines make history — and a black bear crosses the trail

Man kills self before shooting wife and daughter

Alabama governor candidate caught in lesbian sperm donation scandal

Sister hits moose on way to visit sister who hit moose.

Man caught driving stolen car filled with radioactive uranium, rattlesnake, whiskey

Man loses his testicles after attempting to smoke weed through a SCUBA tank

Church Mutual Insurance won't cover Church's flood damage because it's 'an act of God'

Homicide victims rarely talk to police

Meerkat Expert Attacked Monkey Handler Over Love Affair with Llama Keeper

GOP congressman opposes gun control because gay marriage leads to bestiality

Owner of killer bear chokes to death on sex toy

Support for legalizing pot hits all-time high

Give me all your money or my penguin will explode

How zombie worms have sex in whale bones

Crocodile steals zoo worker's lawn mower

Woman shot by oven while trying to cook waffles

Nude beach blowjob jet ski fight leads to wife's death

Woman stabs husband with squirrel for not buying beer Christmas Eve

GOPer files complaint against Democrat for telling the truth about Big Lie social posts

Man shot dead on Syracuse Street for 2nd time in 2 days

Alaska woman punches bear in face, saves dog

Johnny Rotten suffers flea bite on his penis after rescuing squirrel

Memorable quotations

The best way to know you are having an adventure is when you wish you were home talking about it." — a mechanic on the Alaska State Ferry System. Or as in my own case planning how I will be writing it on this blog.

"You can't promote principled anti-corruption without pissing off corrupt people." — George Kent

"If only the British had held on to the airports, the whole thing might have gone differently for us." — Mick Jagger

"You can do anything as long as you don't scare the horses." — a mother's favorite saying recalled by a friend

A poem is an egg with a horse inside” — anonymous fourth grader

“My children will likely turn my picture to the wall but what the hell, you only get old once." — Joe May

“Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.” — Ernest Hemingway

When I write, I feel like an armless, legless man with a crayon in his mouth.― Kurt Vonnegut

“If you wrote something for which someone sent you a cheque, if you cashed the cheque and it didn't bounce, and if you then paid the light bill with the money, I consider you talented.”―Stephen King

The thing about ignorance is, you don't have to remain ignorant. — me again"

"It was like the aftermath of an orgasm with the wrong partner." – David Lagercrants “The Girl in the Spider’s Web.”

Why worry about dying, you aren't going to live to regret it.

Never debate with someone who gets ink by the barrel" — George Hayes, former Alaska Attorney General who died recently

My dear Mr. Frost: two roads never diverge in a yellow wood. Three roads meet there. — @Shakespeare on Twitter

Normal is how somebody else thinks you should act.

"The mark of a great shiphandler is never getting into situations that require great shiphandling," Adm. Ernest King, USN

Me: Does the restaurant have cute waitresses?

My friend Gail: All waitresses are cute when you're hungry.

I'm not a writer, but sometimes I push around words to see what happens. – Scott Berry

I realized today how many of my stories start out "years ago." What's next? Once upon a time?"

“The rivers of Alaska are strewn with the bones of men who made but one mistake” - Fred McGarry, a Nushagak Trapper

Many people hear voices when no one is there. Some of them are called mad and are shut up in rooms where they stared at walls all day. Others are called writers and they do pretty much the same thing. – Meg Chittenden

A non-writing writer is a monster courting insanity. – Franz Kafka

We are all immortal until the one day we are not. – me again

If the muse is late, start without her – Peter S. Beagle

Substitute ‘damn’ every time you’re inclined to write ‘very;’ your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be. ~Mark Twain Actually you could do the same thing with the word "really" as in "really cold."

If you are looking for an experience that will temper your vanity, this is it. There's no one to impress when you're alone on the trap line. – Michael Carey quoting his father's journal

Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing. – Benjamin Franklin

It’s nervous work. The state you need to write in is the state that others are paying large sums of money to get rid of. – Shirley Hazzard

So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of intelligence -- Bertrand Russell

You know that I always just wanted to have a small ship to take stuff from a place that had a lot of that stuff to a place that did not have a lot of that stuff and so prosper.—Jackie Faber, “The Wake of the Lorelei Lee”

If you attack the arguer instead of the argument, you lose both

If an insurance company won’t pay for damages caused by an “act of God,” shouldn’t it then have to prove the existence of God? – I said that

I used to think getting old was about vanity—but actually it’s about losing people you love. Getting wrinkles is trivial. – Eugene O’Neill

German General to Swiss General: “You have only 500,000 men in your army; what would you do if I invaded with 1 million men?”

Swiss General: “Well, I suppose every one of my soldiers would need to fire twice.”

Writing is the only thing that when I do it, I don’t feel I should be doing something else.—Gloria Steinem

Exceed your bandwidth—sign on the wall of the maintenance shop at the West Coast/Alaska Tsunami Warning Center

One thing I do know, if you keep at it, you usually wind up getting something done.—Patricia Monaghan

Do you want to know what kind of person makes the best reporter? I’ll tell you. A borderline sociopath. Someone smart, inquisitive, stubborn, disorganized, chaotic, and in a perpetual state of simmering rage at the failings of the world.—Brett Arends

It is a very simple mind that only knows how to spell a word one way.—Andrew Jackson

3:30 is too late or too early to do anything—Rene Descartes

Everything is okay when it’s 50-below as long as everything is okay. – an Alaskan in Tom Walker’s “The Seventymile Kid”

You can have your own opinion but you can’t have your own science.—commenter arguing on a story about polar bears and global warming

He looks at three ex wives as a good start—TV police drama

Talkeetna: A friendly little drinking town with a climbing problem.—a handmade bumper sticker

“You’re either into the wall or into the show”—Marco Andretti on giving it all to qualify last at the 2011 Indy 500

Makeup is not for the faint of heart—the makeup guerrilla

“I’m going to relax in a very adult manner.”—Danica Patrick after sweating it out and qualifying half an hour before Andretti

“Asking Congress to come back is like asking a mugger to come back because he forgot your wallet.”—a roundtable participant on Fox of all places

As Republicans go further back in the conception process to define when life actually begins, I am beginning to think the eventual definition will be life begins in the beer I was drinking when I met her.—me again

Hunting is a “critical element for the long-term conservation of wood bison.”—a state department of Fish and Game official explaining why the state would not go along with a federal plan to reintroduce wood bison in Alaska because the agreement did not specifically allow hunting

Each day do something that won’t compute – anon

I can’t belive I still have to protest this shit – a sign carriend by an elderly woman at an Occupy demonstration

Life should be a little nuts or else it’s just a bunch of Thursdays strung together—Kevin Costner as Beau Burroughs in “Rumor has it”

You’re just a wanker whipping up fear —Irish President Michael D. Higgins to a tea party radio announcer

Being president doesn’t change who you are; it reveals who you are—Michelle Obama

Sports malaprops

Commenting on an athlete with hearing impairment he said the player didn’t show any “uncomfortability.” “He's not doing things he can't do."

"… there's a fearlessment about him …"

"He's got to have the lead if he's going to win this race." "

"Kansas has always had the ability to score with the basketball."

"NFL to put computer chips in balls." Oh, that's gotta hurt.

"Now that you're in the finals you have to run the race that's going to get you on the podium."

"It's very important for both sides that they stay on their feet."

This is why you get to hate sportscasters. Kansas beats Texas for the first time since 1938. So the pundits open their segment with the question "let's talk about what went wrong." Wrong? Kansas WON a football game! That's what went RIGHT!

"I brought out the thermostat to show you how cold it is here." Points to a thermometer reading zero in Minneapolis.

"It's tough to win on the road when you turn the ball over." Oh, really? Like you can do all right if you turn the ball over playing at home?

Cliches so embedded in sportscasters' minds they can't help themselves: "Minnesota fell from the ranks of the undefeated today." What ranks? They were the only undefeated team left.

A good one: A 5'10" player went up and caught a pass off a defensive back over six feet tall. The quote? "He's got some hops."

Best homonym of the day so far: "It's all tied. Alabama 34, Kentucky 3." Oh, Tide.

"Steve Hooker commentates on his Olympic pole vault gold medal." When "comments" just won't do.

"He's certainly capable of the top ten, maybe even higher than that."

"Atlanta is capable of doing what they're doing."

"Biyombo, one of seven kids from the Republic of Congo." In the NBA? In America? In his whole country?

"You can't come out and be aggressive but you can't come out and be unaggressive."

"They're gonna be in every game they play!"

"First you have to get two strikes on the hitter before you get the strikeout."

"The game ended in the final seconds." You have to wonder when the others ended or are they still going on?

How is a team down by one touchdown before the half "totally demoralized?"

"If they score runs they will win."

"I think the matchup is what it is"

After a play a Houston defender was on his knees, his head on the ground and his hand underneath him appeared to clutch a very sensitive part of the male anatomy. He rolled onto his back and quickly removed his hand. (Remember the old Cosby routine "you cannot touch certain parts of your body?") Finally they helped the guy to the sideline and then the replay was shown. In it the guy clearly took a hard knee between his thighs. As this was being shown, one of the announcers says, "It looks like he hurt his shoulder." The other agrees and then they both talk about how serious a shoulder injury can be. Were we watching the same game?

"Somebody is going to be the quarterback or we're going to see a new quarterback."

"That was a playmaker making a play.”