Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Conversation with a young prostitute

WARNING:  This is nothing like anything anyone has seen on this blog before.  It is an excerpt from something I am working on and another experiment on my part,  Be aware there is some rough language and drug and sex references. It's an instant-messaging internet conversation with all the inherent typographical errors intact.

 All material Copyright©Tim Jones

 whaleman: one of these days i want to talk about it anyway
BetCbball: we should talk nw
BetCbball: now
whaleman: ok
whaleman: when was the first time you used meth?
whaleman: was it before or after you left home?
BetCbball: oh wow
BetCbball: err
BetCbball: first used after i left home
whaleman: do you remember where you were and the circumstance?
BetCbball: like..
whaleman: who was around, who gave it to you    was it a party or just two of you, that sort of thing
BetCbball: i was screwing around this guy
BetCbball: and he was a user
BetCbball: it was just the two of us
BetCbball: was a awesome night
BetCbball: had been doing not awesome..
BetCbball: and he offered me some
BetCbball: wasnt like...
BetCbball: he forced me
BetCbball: or sold it to me
BetCbball: just offered some
BetCbball: best high of my life
whaleman: the first one usually is  i undrstand
BetCbball: i really thought that was the light at the end of the tunnel
BetCbball: he was a cool guy in the beginning
BetCbball: like i thought this was just my new way of life
whaleman: can you tell me how that first one affected you
whaleman: physiocally, mentally?  where did this happen?
whaleman: city i mean
BetCbball: buffalo
BetCbball: i didnt do anything 'bad' until i got to buffalo
BetCbball: before al this i was really tring to just like...get outta dodge
whaleman: just curious, were yu a virgin when you got to buffalo
BetCbball: haha no
whaleman: so that happened before you left,     with that long term boyfriend?
BetCbball: a meth high is like.. on top of thw orld
BetCbball: you can do anything
BetCbball: and ya
BetCbball: i think ive told you about hi
BetCbball: m
whaleman: jsut that he existed
BetCbball: he existed
BetCbball: he was awesome
whaleman: don't need to dwell on that now
BetCbball: first love absolutely
whaleman: well, ok'
whaleman: can you say what made him awesome'
BetCbball: he was the first person that i ever felt like i could tell everything
BetCbball: havent you ever had that feeling?
whaleman: no, not really
BetCbball: and we had similar stuff going on...kinda..
whaleman: Tht sound ritht
BetCbball: but i fucked that one up
whaleman: how?
BetCbball: like...uh..i was too much....
BetCbball: wasnt fair to him
whaleman: forgive me if i seem blunt here, 
BetCbball: i was kinda starting to realize i needed to get out
whaleman: too much in what aay
whaleman: ok i can understand that
BetCbball: like i was cutting and he saw it....
BetCbball: and would call him hyperventilating wanting to be dead..
whaleman: by cutting do you mean on your arms   or cutting classes?
BetCbball: my body
BetCbball: home was a lot of stress...and i didnt know how to handle it
BetCbball: and it upset him
BetCbball: so he booked it
BetCbball: which....good for him
whaleman: do you still have scars from that?
BetCbball: ya
whaleman: i can imagine with all it seemed you had going on at home it was tough on a kid in school
BetCbball: i think thats probobly pretty normal for teenagers
BetCbball: like happens a lot
whaleman: yeah i did some reading about cutting a few years ago when i met someone else on here who was doing it
whaleman: it was new to me then
BetCbball: it gives you like a releif
BetCbball: like a high
BetCbball: small high
whaleman: yes i understood
whaleman: what i recall from what i read was that it usually is not so much about getting attention as it is about feeling something, anything
BetCbball: exactly
BetCbball: EXACTLY
whaleman: <<<<  not so out of tpuch for an old guy lol
whaleman: ok
whaleman: well tell me about th high
BetCbball: haha youre not out of trouch
BetCbball: cutting?
whaleman: yu said it was like you felt you cold do anything
BetCbball: geez that was a long time ago
whaleman: no the meth
BetCbball: oh meth
BetCbball: hahah
BetCbball: wayyy better
BetCbball: like invinsible
BetCbball: like...confident
BetCbball: on top of the world
BetCbball: NOTHING is wrong
whaleman: or can go wrong?
BetCbball: could handle anything that went wrong
BetCbball: like bad things arent so bad
whaleman: oh
BetCbball: everything is god
BetCbball: good
whaleman: does it intensify feelings?
whaleman: like is sex better with it?
BetCbball: sex is WAY better with it
BetCbball: like feels better goes better is better
BetCbball: easy to have sex with gross people
whaleman: when you were working on the street did that help you through it?
BetCbball: ya
BetCbball: totally
whaleman: HOw about other things, could you function in normal things  liek shopoping or just routine parts of life?
BetCbball: i think so...but like i wasnt sucessful
BetCbball: so maybe no
BetCbball: lol
whaleman: In the book the girl knew immediately it was bad for her, but she succumbed to the effects and went with it and she kept knowing it was bad but going back to it anyway…  did you?  think of it as bad at first, or ever, for that matter
BetCbball: haha ya like hte frist time using you knwo its bad
BetCbball: but it doesnt matter
BetCbball: like i said..
BetCbball: i was leaving a life that didnt work
whaleman: she had a good life and she knew it, no major traumas, good grades, stable family though parents divorced, but generally all right, maybe  little bored with that.  It was her real father who turned her on.  So you were quite different, you were looking for a way out, a way to find new life,  she was the opposite, had a good life, but succumbed to the rush.  Same result, differnt path
BetCbball: so i was willing to try anything that wasnt that
BetCbball: and if this was a option for a new life that i could handle
BetCbball: then it was better
BetCbball: and i just wanted something better
BetCbball: and with meth...things hurt less, for sure

 AND, please, understand this is a work of total fiction.

 The book referred to above is "Crank" by Ellen Hopkins.  Find it on Amazon.

 Conversation with an older writer

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Memorable quotations

The best way to know you are having an adventure is when you wish you were home talking about it." — a mechanic on the Alaska State Ferry System. Or as in my own case planning how I will be writing it on this blog.

"You can't promote principled anti-corruption without pissing off corrupt people." — George Kent

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A poem is an egg with a horse inside” — anonymous fourth grader

“My children will likely turn my picture to the wall but what the hell, you only get old once." — Joe May

“Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.” — Ernest Hemingway

When I write, I feel like an armless, legless man with a crayon in his mouth.― Kurt Vonnegut

“If you wrote something for which someone sent you a cheque, if you cashed the cheque and it didn't bounce, and if you then paid the light bill with the money, I consider you talented.”―Stephen King

The thing about ignorance is, you don't have to remain ignorant. — me again"

"It was like the aftermath of an orgasm with the wrong partner." – David Lagercrants “The Girl in the Spider’s Web.”

Why worry about dying, you aren't going to live to regret it.

Never debate with someone who gets ink by the barrel" — George Hayes, former Alaska Attorney General who died recently

My dear Mr. Frost: two roads never diverge in a yellow wood. Three roads meet there. — @Shakespeare on Twitter

Normal is how somebody else thinks you should act.

"The mark of a great shiphandler is never getting into situations that require great shiphandling," Adm. Ernest King, USN

Me: Does the restaurant have cute waitresses?

My friend Gail: All waitresses are cute when you're hungry.

I'm not a writer, but sometimes I push around words to see what happens. – Scott Berry

I realized today how many of my stories start out "years ago." What's next? Once upon a time?"

“The rivers of Alaska are strewn with the bones of men who made but one mistake” - Fred McGarry, a Nushagak Trapper

Many people hear voices when no one is there. Some of them are called mad and are shut up in rooms where they stared at walls all day. Others are called writers and they do pretty much the same thing. – Meg Chittenden

A non-writing writer is a monster courting insanity. – Franz Kafka

We are all immortal until the one day we are not. – me again

If the muse is late, start without her – Peter S. Beagle

Substitute ‘damn’ every time you’re inclined to write ‘very;’ your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be. ~Mark Twain Actually you could do the same thing with the word "really" as in "really cold."

If you are looking for an experience that will temper your vanity, this is it. There's no one to impress when you're alone on the trap line. – Michael Carey quoting his father's journal

Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing. – Benjamin Franklin

It’s nervous work. The state you need to write in is the state that others are paying large sums of money to get rid of. – Shirley Hazzard

So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of intelligence -- Bertrand Russell

You know that I always just wanted to have a small ship to take stuff from a place that had a lot of that stuff to a place that did not have a lot of that stuff and so prosper.—Jackie Faber, “The Wake of the Lorelei Lee”

If you attack the arguer instead of the argument, you lose both

If an insurance company won’t pay for damages caused by an “act of God,” shouldn’t it then have to prove the existence of God? – I said that

I used to think getting old was about vanity—but actually it’s about losing people you love. Getting wrinkles is trivial. – Eugene O’Neill

German General to Swiss General: “You have only 500,000 men in your army; what would you do if I invaded with 1 million men?”

Swiss General: “Well, I suppose every one of my soldiers would need to fire twice.”

Writing is the only thing that when I do it, I don’t feel I should be doing something else.—Gloria Steinem

Exceed your bandwidth—sign on the wall of the maintenance shop at the West Coast/Alaska Tsunami Warning Center

One thing I do know, if you keep at it, you usually wind up getting something done.—Patricia Monaghan

Do you want to know what kind of person makes the best reporter? I’ll tell you. A borderline sociopath. Someone smart, inquisitive, stubborn, disorganized, chaotic, and in a perpetual state of simmering rage at the failings of the world.—Brett Arends

It is a very simple mind that only knows how to spell a word one way.—Andrew Jackson

3:30 is too late or too early to do anything—Rene Descartes

Everything is okay when it’s 50-below as long as everything is okay. – an Alaskan in Tom Walker’s “The Seventymile Kid”

You can have your own opinion but you can’t have your own science.—commenter arguing on a story about polar bears and global warming

He looks at three ex wives as a good start—TV police drama

Talkeetna: A friendly little drinking town with a climbing problem.—a handmade bumper sticker

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Makeup is not for the faint of heart—the makeup guerrilla

“I’m going to relax in a very adult manner.”—Danica Patrick after sweating it out and qualifying half an hour before Andretti

“Asking Congress to come back is like asking a mugger to come back because he forgot your wallet.”—a roundtable participant on Fox of all places

As Republicans go further back in the conception process to define when life actually begins, I am beginning to think the eventual definition will be life begins in the beer I was drinking when I met her.—me again

Hunting is a “critical element for the long-term conservation of wood bison.”—a state department of Fish and Game official explaining why the state would not go along with a federal plan to reintroduce wood bison in Alaska because the agreement did not specifically allow hunting

Each day do something that won’t compute – anon

I can’t belive I still have to protest this shit – a sign carriend by an elderly woman at an Occupy demonstration

Life should be a little nuts or else it’s just a bunch of Thursdays strung together—Kevin Costner as Beau Burroughs in “Rumor has it”

You’re just a wanker whipping up fear —Irish President Michael D. Higgins to a tea party radio announcer

Being president doesn’t change who you are; it reveals who you are—Michelle Obama

Sports malaprops

Commenting on an athlete with hearing impairment he said the player didn’t show any “uncomfortability.” “He's not doing things he can't do."

"… there's a fearlessment about him …"

"He's got to have the lead if he's going to win this race." "

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"NFL to put computer chips in balls." Oh, that's gotta hurt.

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"It's very important for both sides that they stay on their feet."

This is why you get to hate sportscasters. Kansas beats Texas for the first time since 1938. So the pundits open their segment with the question "let's talk about what went wrong." Wrong? Kansas WON a football game! That's what went RIGHT!

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"It's tough to win on the road when you turn the ball over." Oh, really? Like you can do all right if you turn the ball over playing at home?

Cliches so embedded in sportscasters' minds they can't help themselves: "Minnesota fell from the ranks of the undefeated today." What ranks? They were the only undefeated team left.

A good one: A 5'10" player went up and caught a pass off a defensive back over six feet tall. The quote? "He's got some hops."

Best homonym of the day so far: "It's all tied. Alabama 34, Kentucky 3." Oh, Tide.

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"That was a playmaker making a play.”