Written on the Fall Equinox 2024: Lately I have come to fear September. It goes like this. During or close to September 2022 three women who had been close friends over the years died within weeks of each other: Lael Morgan, Nancy Lethcoe and Sue Whittom. I have written about them in the Memorials section of this bog. Individually and as a group those deaths hit me hard. A year later, in 2023, I had barely recovered when two men I felt close with died within that same month, Jimmy Buffett, though I had not known him personally, I felt like a kindred spirit with. The other, Joe May and I had become close friends in his and (well, if I acknowledge it) in my last years. And I learned today I missed the Memorial for another woman important in my life, Mary Helen Stephens. All of these losses along with several others that occurred at other times of other years led to sometimes these days I wonder why I am not corresponding with many people online any more and today it hit me why; my circle of friends has tightened, as the song goes "people just aren't around anymore." And there are almost two weeks left in the month.
Alaska with attitude
Sunday, September 22, 2024
Thursday, July 4, 2024
As we used to say on boats, it's time to get savage
Rally round people: Maybe this is what's wrong with the Democrat Party. Their leader stumbles a little and instead of circling the wagons around him, some of them stand off to the side loudly sniping, raising and questioning about whether he could or should or they want him to quit the campaign altogether. They're encouraged by the punditry who go on and on looking at polls and imagining authoritatively what will or won't happen if this or that happens. For crying out loud the opponent here is a felon 34 times over and he lied at least 30 times in an hour and a half debate. That's one every three minutes. Don't whimper on the sidelines about quitting, show some backbone and join for the real battle here. Maybe President Biden ought to test the new rulings and disqualify Trump from running and holding any office because he is a convicted felon, an in-your-face action to show some of that backbone. Our democracy is at stake.
Thursday, March 7, 2024
Science fiction – or is it?
Wednesday, March 6, 2024
It’s come to this: The last time?
Many people hear voices when no one is there. Some of them are called mad and are shut up in rooms where they stared at walls all day. Others are called writers and they do pretty much the same thing. – Meg Chittenden
Journey into a new novel
1. Inspiration
2. Hurriedly write opening grafs
Fred? tucked a Ziploc bag under the windshield wiper of his truck. It contained an envelope and he could only hope new snow would cover it until it was found. (This could be too obvious foreshadowing)
He slipped the straps to a small backpack over his shoulders and turned to trudge through a thin layer of newly fallen snow to the beginning of a trail cut up a hill into a deep boreal forest in its climax stage. Huge spruce and birch trees stood tall in the woods, many of them so old they were rotting upward from their roots through their trunks until those trunks and their roots failed to support them and a windstorm or until those roots and trunks could not support the weight any more causing the trees to collapse onto the forest floor answering an old philosophical question if someone is there to hear. Branches from the trees still standing reached high over the trail creating in summer something of a canopy, a tunnel even, but in winter an eerie tangle of skeletal remains.
As Fred stepped onto the main trail he felt its reassuring firm base packed solid my numerous snowmachines, beneath his boots. He stood for a moment focused on that trail and a question came into his mind, one he'd tried several times to answer in the previous year or so. Is this the last time I am going to do this? He'd asked it several times as he began to feel the differing signs of oncoming age, but never could come up with an answer. He didn't have an answer for it this time either. As he contemplated it again his mind wandered to recollections of other times on this trail to a day when he sang out loud. He couldn't remember the song he sang that day. Only one time? He searched for other times a song had entertained him on the trail but none came to mind. A song did, however come up as he took the first steps onto the trail and it took his full concentration to stifle his voice. In his head, the Rolling Stones sang "This could be the last time, this could be the last time, maybe the last time, I don't know owo…"
With the Stones shouting in his head he began walking along the trail, leaving the civilization of the trailhead parking lot behind as he progressed deeper into the woods. He paced himself knowing shortly he would encounter one of the toughest parts of the trail. That would be the steepest hill he'd have to climb; there were others along the way but this one rose quickly several hundred feet. He planned to stop and rest during the climb. He saw no sense in wearing himself out in the first mile, a concession to the age that worried him.
3. Racing into notes and more ideas
LATER BEATLES LONG AND WINDING ROAD AND MAYBE CHARLIE DANIELS LONG HAIRED COUNTRY BOY
4. Goes off in several directions
Under foot packed by machines.
Segments and thoughts
work between reality and thought process.
Last time you do something
Wondering if you will ever do this again
5. Becomes a confusing tangle too complex to control, ideas flying fast and furious, jumping days, months, years. even decades, backward and forward, wild thoughts, like a lifetime love that never really existed or a questionable course change on a long ocean voyage and on and on crashing into each other creating such confusion nothing made any sense and it scared me. Was this one of those signs as aging declines into malfunction? Suddenly it stops in a sweeping clarity and falls away with a realization:
6. The whole concept is derivative
7. Realize the literary masterpiece it's derived from
8. Slide the whole piece into the false-starts folder
9. Pour a glass of wine, lift the glass to Hemingway with a nod to Jack London, Then:
10. Never mind! Next!!!!
Saturday, November 4, 2023
Prince William and the Blueberry Queen
PRINCE WILLIAM AND THE
BLUEBERRY QUEEN
Prince William Sound is the body of water in Alaska where I used to live. It was named for the second son of King George III of
The was the theater. |
--Tim
A sound is a noise like waves crashing on a beach. A sound also can be a large, protected body of water, a place where waves don't crash against a beach. This is a story about the second kind of sound, only one so long ago and so far away, you can't hear it any more.
In its beginning, this sound was not protected. It presented a wide-open mouth to an expanse of northern ocean whose weather drove storm after storm over the water against the mountains that rimmed the sound. Darks clouds stopped by the mountains always hung over the sound and precipitated a constant shower of rain into the bays and coves. The mountains around the sound always stood dark, black with trees that were bent by the constant winds that failed to blow away the clouds that delivered the rain. No one ever saw the tops of those mountains because they were always hidden by the clouds. As a matter of fact no one ever saw much of the sound at all for it was a dark and cold forbidding place. How cold and how dark no one knew for even the bravest of mariners avoided the sound. The sailors who plied the northern waters stayed away from it for it was said an evil giant inhabited the sound and those unfortunate ships that entered seeking shelter from a storm were never heard from again. Few did enter, for besides the stories of the giant, the sound offered little in the way of shelter without some land mass to cover the opening as a buffer to the weather.
To the east and west of this sound lay two small kingdoms. These kingdoms existed peacefully with each other, but the sailors from each competed in the ocean for the same fish and there were occasions when one king would send an angry reprimand to the other over conflicts on the fishing grounds. With no shelter between the kingdoms when the great northern storms blew, often the fishermen from one kingdom would seek safe anchorage in the harbors of the other. Although the harboring would be allowed, the outland mariners would be made to feel they were unwanted and their welcome ended with the storm they were hiding from. There were too many arguments over the fishing for the fishermen to be welcomed into the other's port.
The kings, seeing the conflicts growing and fearing their subjects would make more trouble, began sending emissaries back and forth with suggestions for resolving the issue. Eventually, as they neared agreement, the court of the Eastern king made plans to journey to the west to complete the accord and celebrate with a feast.
The Eastern king took with him many of his advisors and in an attempt to broaden the world of his son, William, took him as well. In three ships they sailed for the Western kingdom. It was an easy voyage for no storms blew and their passage was a safe one. As they crossed the mouth of the dark sound, Prince William asked his father about the forbidding wilderness. His father told him about the sound and when he'd finished, as if to prove what the king had said, way off deep within the sound they heard roars and loud splashes.
"They say the rain drives the giant insane," said old king Hinchinbrook, "and he goes into a bay and rips massive boulders from the cliffs and hurls them far out into the water or, sometimes, back into the mountains."
Best headlines ever
Naked pair fed LSD gummy worm to dog
Owners of a Noah's Ark replica file a lawsuit over rain damage
In Southcentral Alaska earthquake, damage originated in the ground, engineers say
A headline that could only be written in Alaska: At state cross country, Glacier Bears and Grizzlies sweep, Lynx repeat, Wolverines make history — and a black bear crosses the trail
Man kills self before shooting wife and daughter
Alabama governor candidate caught in lesbian sperm donation scandal
Sister hits moose on way to visit sister who hit moose.
Man caught driving stolen car filled with radioactive uranium, rattlesnake, whiskey
Man loses his testicles after attempting to smoke weed through a SCUBA tank
Church Mutual Insurance won't cover Church's flood damage because it's 'an act of God'
Homicide victims rarely talk to police
Meerkat Expert Attacked Monkey Handler Over Love Affair with Llama Keeper
GOP congressman opposes gun control because gay marriage leads to bestiality
Owner of killer bear chokes to death on sex toy
Support for legalizing pot hits all-time high
Give me all your money or my penguin will explode
How zombie worms have sex in whale bones
Crocodile steals zoo worker's lawn mower
Woman shot by oven while trying to cook waffles
Nude beach blowjob jet ski fight leads to wife's death
Woman stabs husband with squirrel for not buying beer Christmas Eve
GOPer files complaint against Democrat for telling the truth about Big Lie social posts
Man shot dead on Syracuse Street for 2nd time in 2 days
Alaska woman punches bear in face, saves dog
Johnny Rotten suffers flea bite on his penis after rescuing squirrel
Memorable quotations
The best way to know you are having an adventure is when you wish you were home talking about it." — a mechanic on the Alaska State Ferry System. Or as in my own case planning how I will be writing it on this blog.
"You can't promote principled anti-corruption without pissing off corrupt people." — George Kent
"If only the British had held on to the airports, the whole thing might have gone differently for us." — Mick Jagger
"You can do anything as long as you don't scare the horses." — a mother's favorite saying recalled by a friend
A poem is an egg with a horse inside” — anonymous fourth grader
“My children will likely turn my picture to the wall but what the hell, you only get old once." — Joe May
“Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.” — Ernest Hemingway
When I write, I feel like an armless, legless man with a crayon in his mouth.― Kurt Vonnegut
“If you wrote something for which someone sent you a cheque, if you cashed the cheque and it didn't bounce, and if you then paid the light bill with the money, I consider you talented.”―Stephen King
The thing about ignorance is, you don't have to remain ignorant. — me again"
"It was like the aftermath of an orgasm with the wrong partner." – David Lagercrants “The Girl in the Spider’s Web.”
Why worry about dying, you aren't going to live to regret it.
Never debate with someone who gets ink by the barrel" — George Hayes, former Alaska Attorney General who died recently
My dear Mr. Frost: two roads never diverge in a yellow wood. Three roads meet there. — @Shakespeare on Twitter
Normal is how somebody else thinks you should act.
"The mark of a great shiphandler is never getting into situations that require great shiphandling," Adm. Ernest King, USN
Me: Does the restaurant have cute waitresses?
My friend Gail: All waitresses are cute when you're hungry.
I'm not a writer, but sometimes I push around words to see what happens. – Scott Berry
I realized today how many of my stories start out "years ago." What's next? Once upon a time?"
“The rivers of Alaska are strewn with the bones of men who made but one mistake” - Fred McGarry, a Nushagak Trapper
Many people hear voices when no one is there. Some of them are called mad and are shut up in rooms where they stared at walls all day. Others are called writers and they do pretty much the same thing. – Meg Chittenden
A non-writing writer is a monster courting insanity. – Franz Kafka
We are all immortal until the one day we are not. – me again
If the muse is late, start without her – Peter S. Beagle
Substitute ‘damn’ every time you’re inclined to write ‘very;’ your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be. ~Mark Twain Actually you could do the same thing with the word "really" as in "really cold."
If you are looking for an experience that will temper your vanity, this is it. There's no one to impress when you're alone on the trap line. – Michael Carey quoting his father's journal
Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing. – Benjamin Franklin
It’s nervous work. The state you need to write in is the state that others are paying large sums of money to get rid of. – Shirley Hazzard
So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of intelligence -- Bertrand Russell
You know that I always just wanted to have a small ship to take stuff from a place that had a lot of that stuff to a place that did not have a lot of that stuff and so prosper.—Jackie Faber, “The Wake of the Lorelei Lee”
If you attack the arguer instead of the argument, you lose both
If an insurance company won’t pay for damages caused by an “act of God,” shouldn’t it then have to prove the existence of God? – I said that
I used to think getting old was about vanity—but actually it’s about losing people you love. Getting wrinkles is trivial. – Eugene O’Neill
German General to Swiss General: “You have only 500,000 men in your army; what would you do if I invaded with 1 million men?”
Swiss General: “Well, I suppose every one of my soldiers would need to fire twice.”
Writing is the only thing that when I do it, I don’t feel I should be doing something else.—Gloria Steinem
Exceed your bandwidth—sign on the wall of the maintenance shop at the West Coast/Alaska Tsunami Warning Center
One thing I do know, if you keep at it, you usually wind up getting something done.—Patricia Monaghan
Do you want to know what kind of person makes the best reporter? I’ll tell you. A borderline sociopath. Someone smart, inquisitive, stubborn, disorganized, chaotic, and in a perpetual state of simmering rage at the failings of the world.—Brett Arends
It is a very simple mind that only knows how to spell a word one way.—Andrew Jackson
3:30 is too late or too early to do anything—Rene Descartes
Everything is okay when it’s 50-below as long as everything is okay. – an Alaskan in Tom Walker’s “The Seventymile Kid”
You can have your own opinion but you can’t have your own science.—commenter arguing on a story about polar bears and global warming
He looks at three ex wives as a good start—TV police drama
Talkeetna: A friendly little drinking town with a climbing problem.—a handmade bumper sticker
“You’re either into the wall or into the show”—Marco Andretti on giving it all to qualify last at the 2011 Indy 500
Makeup is not for the faint of heart—the makeup guerrilla
“I’m going to relax in a very adult manner.”—Danica Patrick after sweating it out and qualifying half an hour before Andretti
“Asking Congress to come back is like asking a mugger to come back because he forgot your wallet.”—a roundtable participant on Fox of all places
As Republicans go further back in the conception process to define when life actually begins, I am beginning to think the eventual definition will be life begins in the beer I was drinking when I met her.—me again
Hunting is a “critical element for the long-term conservation of wood bison.”—a state department of Fish and Game official explaining why the state would not go along with a federal plan to reintroduce wood bison in Alaska because the agreement did not specifically allow hunting
Each day do something that won’t compute – anon
I can’t belive I still have to protest this shit – a sign carriend by an elderly woman at an Occupy demonstration
Life should be a little nuts or else it’s just a bunch of Thursdays strung together—Kevin Costner as Beau Burroughs in “Rumor has it”
You’re just a wanker whipping up fear —Irish President Michael D. Higgins to a tea party radio announcer
Being president doesn’t change who you are; it reveals who you are—Michelle Obama
Sports malaprops
Commenting on an athlete with hearing impairment he said the player didn’t show any “uncomfortability.” “He's not doing things he can't do."
"… there's a fearlessment about him …"
"He's got to have the lead if he's going to win this race." "
"Kansas has always had the ability to score with the basketball."
"NFL to put computer chips in balls." Oh, that's gotta hurt.
"Now that you're in the finals you have to run the race that's going to get you on the podium."
"It's very important for both sides that they stay on their feet."
This is why you get to hate sportscasters. Kansas beats Texas for the first time since 1938. So the pundits open their segment with the question "let's talk about what went wrong." Wrong? Kansas WON a football game! That's what went RIGHT!
"I brought out the thermostat to show you how cold it is here." Points to a thermometer reading zero in Minneapolis.
"It's tough to win on the road when you turn the ball over." Oh, really? Like you can do all right if you turn the ball over playing at home?
Cliches so embedded in sportscasters' minds they can't help themselves: "Minnesota fell from the ranks of the undefeated today." What ranks? They were the only undefeated team left.
A good one: A 5'10" player went up and caught a pass off a defensive back over six feet tall. The quote? "He's got some hops."
Best homonym of the day so far: "It's all tied. Alabama 34, Kentucky 3." Oh, Tide.
"Steve Hooker commentates on his Olympic pole vault gold medal." When "comments" just won't do.
"He's certainly capable of the top ten, maybe even higher than that."
"Atlanta is capable of doing what they're doing."
"Biyombo, one of seven kids from the Republic of Congo." In the NBA? In America? In his whole country?
"You can't come out and be aggressive but you can't come out and be unaggressive."
"They're gonna be in every game they play!"
"First you have to get two strikes on the hitter before you get the strikeout."
"The game ended in the final seconds." You have to wonder when the others ended or are they still going on?
How is a team down by one touchdown before the half "totally demoralized?"
"If they score runs they will win."
"I think the matchup is what it is"
After a play a Houston defender was on his knees, his head on the ground and his hand underneath him appeared to clutch a very sensitive part of the male anatomy. He rolled onto his back and quickly removed his hand. (Remember the old Cosby routine "you cannot touch certain parts of your body?") Finally they helped the guy to the sideline and then the replay was shown. In it the guy clearly took a hard knee between his thighs. As this was being shown, one of the announcers says, "It looks like he hurt his shoulder." The other agrees and then they both talk about how serious a shoulder injury can be. Were we watching the same game?
"Somebody is going to be the quarterback or we're going to see a new quarterback."
"That was a playmaker making a play.”