Monday, December 31, 2018

Happy New Year Finland style


Photos show the sequential steps in the casting custom.
During one period in my life I spent some time with a woman from Finland and I am always reminded of her on New Year's Eve.
She had brought with her a charming Finnish tradion for this particular holiday.
First it took a bucket of snow. Then in a sort of ladle made specifically for this purpose she melted a small ingot of metal. I'm not sure what metal it was, but it melted fairly easily.
Once the metal had reached acceptable liquidity, a person dumped it into the bucket of snow.
The metal then solidified in random shapes. Once cooled enough to touch you picked it out of the snow and held it up to the light.
The image shadow that random sculpture threw onto the wall was to give you a hint of your fortunes in the year to come. Sometimes you had to tilt or rotate the metal until somethng recognizable became visible, but we always found something in it to apply to our own lives.
That has always seemed to be a grand way to welcome the new year and it also raises a pleasant memory every year. She is back in Finland now, and across the miles I hope she is performing this ritual tonight. I wish her a grand year in 2019 and thanks for the memory.

Here's a link to what the Finns call casting.

Was there a harmonic convergence I didn't know about?


Most of the snow off the roof now, bring on the rain.
Seriously, did I miss a harmonic convergence or some other cosmic disturbance?
Just the day before yesterday I was sitting on the porch feeling after more than two weeks I had finally reached a measure of comfort at the East Pole.
Then last night a weather forecast for the next few days. Up to 20 inches of snow and on top of that some rain and melting temperatures mixed in — spooking 40.
Normally that's not a big deal, but with almost three feet of heavily compacted snow on the roof, heavy rain soaked snow could be a problem. So my first day-long comfort quickly was traded for a day on the roof shoveling snow.
But it didn't end there. Both of my rechargeable headlamps decided not to accept a charge, leaving me literally in the dark. I found an older, regular one and it used up my last three AA batteries and they faded out before I was done reading myself to sleep. There are aternatives but most aren't very helpful when falling asleep is the goal.
Come the morning and there's an eerie quiet. I usually sleep with the radio on but no radio this morning. We all buy the old GE Superradio because they pull in weak signals and the batteries last forever. I've gone years without changing batteries. But, yup, dead batteries and I had put them in since I've been here this time,
So, after four hours on the roof, most of the snow is off it. I found enough D batteries to fire up the radio. Going to try some things with the headlamps when I start the genset later.
There is this, too, as I was climbing down from the roof, damaged shoulder aching, legs wobbly and breathing heavily, my clothes soaked through in spots, I looked over toward the outhouse. Appears to be about four feet of snow on the roof,
I will never sit in my chair on the porch and entertain thoughts of complacence again.

Saturday, December 29, 2018

Life here isn't about the fun

At a little more than two weeks here, today, finally, I sat in a chair on the deck and realized I am comfortable and have life pretty much under control.
This has been one of the toughest times I've had getting here. To begin with there's lots of snow but it's the consistency of sugar and any time you spin the snowmachine track you dig down to dirt. I've been stuck so many times on my trail I lost count. I didn't get the machine up to the house until the day before yesterday. That meant I hauled almost all of my supplies up the hill in small sled sometimes pulling it up with a long rope hand over hand.
It's all been complicated by some pressure I put on myself offering this children's captain's bed I have to my daughter for my grandson. I said I'd try to get it to her by Christmas. I feel fortunate I made it up to the cabin at all by Christmas. Moving the bed  involved putting new runners on a rusty old steel freight sled and a different hitch for it on the snowmachine. Oh, I should mention it also involved lowering the bed from a loft 8 feet to the main floor,  by myself.
Back-tracing steps for a moment I did finally get the machine up the hill two days ago. The next day, yesterday it took me more than two hours to get it turned around and facing back down the hill. That simple process involved a lot of shoveling and two separate hitch-ups with a come-along. So a while later I am eating dinner and watching a video of Miami Vice and I hear a strange noise. I went outside to look and there's a guy and his snowmachine halfway up the trail to my house stuck and swearing to the stars, much like I had done over the past three weeks on that trail. I finally walked up, said he saw my light and just wanted to say a neighborly hello. For the moment I was livid about my dinner plus my trail being destroyed. I loaned him a shovel and went back to my dinner.
But, out here you can't do that.It got the better of me and I pulled on my gear, picked up another shovel and went down there to help. It took awhile but we finally got his big old machine out of there and him on his way home leaving me with a trail to repair today.
The trail repair went fairly quickly and I made it down and back up with little problem. Even brought the 40 lb propane tank I had left out near the main trail, closer to the house.
Then lowering the bed out of the loft went as easily is could be imagined. I changed the hitch on the snowmachine and that's when I sat on the porch, feeling satisfied, After more than two weeks, life was under control.
My thoughts went to an online exchange with a friend a couple of days earlier. I told her I was pretty much exhausted every day, and didn't much feel like conversation. She said she hoped soon I would get past this part and be able to have some fun. For some reason that sounded strange to me and today sitting in my Adirondack chair on my deck in 20-degree weather, what's the fun? And that's the crux of it: I don't do this for fun. I do this as a lifestyle choice. I can recall wanting to live like this in my imagination as an 8-year-old scouring the back wood lot with opera glasses pretending I was a forest ranger. So, for at least part of the year I am living it. It's not fun, I don't do it for entertainment I do it because this is the way I want to live. It's not easy, as a matter fact it can be incredibly hard as these past couple of weeks illustrated, Yet it is very satisfying and almost every day leaves me with some sense of accomplishment. Fun isn't the object. Living on my own terms, that's the object and this time it only took almost three weeks to get here.

Sunday, December 23, 2018

Evolution of a Little Drummer Boy

   
 Isn't it one of life's minor irritations when some mediocre talent performs a favorite song and destroys it with individual flourishes?
   
Think of the "Star Spangled Banner." If you watch enough sports events sooner or later you will encounter some singer attempting to add a personal touch to the song and doing it badly. It's the national anthem for crying out loud, sing it the regular way.
    For some of us anyway, the same thoughts hold true for Christmas carols. I was raised Lutheran, not that I stuck with it, but the music stuck with me. Lutherans don't have any music newer than 200 years old. Something from the same century might as well have been rock and roll. I mentioned to a devout Christian friend one time how I only like the traditional carols. Her response was,"Yeah, we have the best music."
    I don't even want silver bells, or jingle bells, or even a white Christmas, I don't care if mommy kisses Santa Clause or if there is a red-nosed reindeer. Give me "Silent Night," (but not used to sell diapers in a Pampers commercial); "The First Noel," "Hark the Herald Angels Sing;" and oh so many others. And if you don't know where to go to hear them the way they should be sung, look no further than the Mormon Tabernacle Choir as a place to start. The Mormons do carols right. There is a version out there of "Oh Holy Night," with a soprano soloist who will give you goose bumps.
    However, looking further, now here comes the change of direction. Few new songs enter the category of traditional. The first one I knew about was "The Little Drummer Boy." It was written by the American classical music composer and teacher Katherine Kennicott Davis in 1941, first recorded in 1951 by the Trapp Family Singers, according to Wikipedia.
TRAPP FAMILY SINGERS
  
 There is some disagreement but let's go with that. It is a for-sure new carol by carol standards given many of them are hundreds of years old and this one is little more than 70. The first I heard it or even heard of it was when we had to sing it in a high school chorus in the 1950s. It had become popular at that time due to a 1958 recording by the Harry Simeone Chorale.
     This is it with the original tune entrenched.
HARRY SIMEONE  CHORALE

    Fortunately no recording I know of exists from our school Christmas concert. (Yes, children there was a time before camcorders, and smart phones (camcorder?)).
     Over the next few years it became a part of the repertoire of any self-respecting musicians who wanted to do traditional religious Christmas music.
     However, looking further, now here comes the change of direction. It didn't take too long before the Mormons discovered it and like they do with so many songs, just about made it their own.
MORMON TABERNCLE CHOIR
     
     Further yet,the song evolved, or at least the singers did. Over the next couple of decades, I heard several versions, some OK, some so messed up I had to turn them off.
     Then three or four years ago I came across a version by a group called Pentatonix, four men and a women. Honestly it knocked my socks off, not a good thing at this time of year in Alaska. They held true to the origin but the way they melded their diverse voices into a harmony of respect for the original was impressive. This is that version.
PENTATONIX

    And then as we used to say in the 60s "far out." Let a couple more years go by until last year, when I heard a totally new version. Who would ever have thought to feature drums in a performance of "The Little Drummer Boy?" Loud ones. Well these guys did and it's dramatic. Still they maintained the reverence for the origial song, just presented it a little more dramatically. You might want to adjust your volume level, lower if you don't like loud drumming, but higher if you like the full effect of good drumming.
FOR KING AND COUNTRY

    How far out can the progression go? Who knows, but I expect a new version one of these years. I know a couple of people who really detest "The Little Drummer Boy. Maybe one of these selections will appeal to them more. If not, as far as I am concerned you can drive your sleigh over the river and through the woods on a carpet of white Christmas to ring silver bells while Mama kisses Santa Claus. (Oh, the temptation was strong to add a little to that last one.) Merry Christmas.



Tuesday, December 18, 2018

What's wrong with this picture?

It's been 32 years since I built this cabin. Until that time the biggest construction project I had attempted was a dog house. I worked the simple design out on graph paper, went over it with a couple of friends who were more experienced, bought my package and came out here by myself to build it. Some folks I met out here helped me, but I still made mistakes. I moved in during February 1986.
     Now here we are in 2018, 32 years later. Today I was cleaning out places that hadn't been cleaned out in a long time. I came across a kit for that white shelf which I hadn't thought about in years. So, I put it up to hold the errant spices that roll around the counter on a regular basis. It was during the installation that I discovered a mistake I had made all those years ago in the winter of 1985-86.
     Have you figured it out yet? It may take a fine carpenter's eye to spot it.
     Here's a hint: The shelf is level. When I discovered it, I recalled the soul search I did when I realized the problem back then and finally decided rather that tear everything out and start over, I decided I'd live with my mistake. So far so good.
     Got it yet? Well in my novice attempt at house bulding I made the worst of all mistakes. You see, the shelf is level, yes, but the cabin is not. For 32 years this thing has stood with a floor sloping to the North, along with anything attached to it including the floor cabinets.
     When I went back to the boats that spring I told my boss about it.  Being an old Alaska hand himself,  he said, "I built my house in Fairbanks and there's nothing square or level in it. Been there 25 years." I can say something like that now, too.

Mark Fuerstenau
I was going to say the shelf is listing to port, but I guess the cabin is listing to the starboard!
 
Sharon Wright
Noticed right away but that's probably because the guy who built our house in Fairbanks, a jazz pianist on the side, "never used a level or square" according to our neighbor who builds dog sleds. It's 33 years old, super-insulated and sturdy. We're kee… See more
Clifford Sisson
Only ancient Mariner would understand , and maybe the fact that the vessel land on a hill side at the East Pole may mansplain the fact that the bubble was a whiskey flask !

Joe May
Crooked windows, crooked doors,
crooked walls and slanted floors.
Original builder unaware,
of plumb-bob, level,
and framing square.
Celeste Riexinger
The mustard should be in the fridge after opening...
Carrie Ann Nash
Grey Poupon?
Shelley Gill
No chilies
Tim Jones
Shelley I’ll be sure to have some when you visit
Sharon Wright
I think Grey Poupon's ingredients (I just reread my jar) don't really need to be refrigerated. That "refrigerate after opening" is pretty much a stock phrase printed on all condiments. The only other mustard that comes close is Boar's Head.
Shelley Gill
Yahoo!



Monday, December 17, 2018

We will rebuild


This is video from my security camera of the first minute of the earthquake. It wasn't snowing, that's snow being shaken out of the trees near the house.


By now everyone who wants to has learned about the earthquake Alaska experienced a couple of weeks ago. Now comes some time to reflect. First, this was my initial response to the national media reporting the quake. I have seen "horrible," "terrifying" and "massive," today. CNN even said it left people in a panic. Please stop the hyperbole. Yes we had an earthquake today, and yes it was big and closer to a big population center than usual, but it is one of more than 34,000 earthquakes in the state this year. It was the strongest one I have felt in my 45 years here. But it was not horrifying, not terrifying, not massive and I saw no panic except the usual run for cover at the first shake. We are Alaskans, we are used to it, most of us are at least somewhat prepared for it and we roll with it. After the shaking stops we stand up, dust ourselves off and start the cleanup. We don't need an excitable press making it sound worse than it is. And, please, we have nowhere to store thoughts and prayers.
      With an initial survey complete in my mind I went on facebook with this: Holy crap that was a big earthquake.
     All that said, We assessed the damage. For my place in Palmer, well, two picture frames. I was more worried about the cabin at the East Pole, but when I opened the door a couple of days ago, I was greeted by a green flashlight on the floor. So it goes. My friend Joe May who lives about 20 miles west of the East Pole some pictures on the wall were knocked akilter and he swears that his old cabin with its round base logs rolled back and forth and is not exactly where it was before the quake. Most tragic where two ceramic mugs a friend had made for him bounced off a shelf and broke. He was lamenting that online a day or so later and from some hidden shadow in my brain I recalled reading about Japanese artisans who repair such items with gold. Being far better read than I am, Joe recalled the name of the process and allowed as how he had a little gold in the house. As the saying goes, the rest is history or to say it properly. 
Joe May HIS STORY.
The rest of this is his account of the adventure:
KITSUGI
The sound of breaking glass and crockery during an earthquake is both terrifying and heartbreaking. 

Keepsakes that harbor memories...on the floor...in a hundred pieces.
"GONE!! GONE!! GONE!!" An experience here shared by many I'm sure.
Pondering the box of broken bits the next day the gloom began to lift when I recalled reading of a Japanese method of mending broken pottery. Half art and half practicality, 'kitsugi", using lacquer and gold to knit the pieces together, is a slow and tedious process requiring tree resin and flour gold...things which I have not....but I did have slow epoxy and cinter mica that could work and look the same.
A piece so "reborn", according to tradition, takes on a special significance lending it a nobility not possessed by the original...speaks to the infrangibility of memories. Something to believe in....
The one cup, in half a dozen pieces, was a simple glue job. The other was another story. A handful of shards, chips, and jagged fragments.
Hours of fitting, grinding, and repositioning tiny pieces culminated in a fair reconstruction...and a big sigh...and I swear, to faint applause coming from a cloud bank over this old cabin. "Audra??".
Audra Forsgren, late mistress, cook, and greeter at Ophir checkpoint, a stop on the 1979 Iditarod long ago hand made and gifted me a pair of ceramic cups as a remembrance of "First Team to Ophir' that year. One of the few reminders of the races and the dogs that I've kept through the years.
In hindsight, I think I needed to rescue these more for Audra than for myself. Now they have a uniqueness like no others in the world. ..and a place farther back on the shelf.

I'M BACK
    I hope no one takes offense at the lighter note here. There were some very serious losses, houses that collapsed, homes termed unlivable without repairs, schools damaged, public buildings, fortunately no serious injuries. And,atta-boys and -girls to all the emergency responders, the road builders, the inspectors and engineers and anyone else who epitomized the strength and resilience of Alaskans and got all the rest of us back to somewhat normal, mostly within 72 hours.








Sunday, December 16, 2018

This inertia is getting me nowhere

.    That's a phrase I think is original. Only think because someone could have had the idea and maybe I heard it or read it somewhere. But for now I'm claiming it. I never felt it was anything in particular but a sailing buddy liked it and uses it occasionally, as do I.
     Like today for instance, this is when you would think and maybe say it. During a period of exhausting physical labor, like pulling a sled loaded heavily with supplies up a hill.
Every so often you have to stop and take a breath,maybe sit on the load for a minute or two. Then you look around the woods,is anythng moving?
     Where is the moose whose tracks you crossed about 20 feet back. Where is that owl you see every morning fly by in the early dawn light? Asleep hidden in the branches somewhere. Then there is Sherry, our first date a hundred years ago and I spilled a milkshake. Oh yes, Denali came out last night barely visible in the faded blues and grays and whites of civil twilight. The eyelids begin to droop and if you were indoors, you'd probably crawl off for a nap somewhere. Only you aren't somewhere warm. You are out in the woods and temperature is around positive 15 and you need to get these groceries up the hill before the eggs freeze and break.
     That's when you say it: "This inertia is getting me nowhere." Right out loud for all the forest creatures to hear, but mostly to wake yourself out of it so you can trudge another 50 feet or so uphill until the breath comes up short, the legs ache, you wish you had eaten a bigger breafast, but most of all, it offers another break, another drift off into the bliss of inertia.
     And maybe 50 feet at a time, sometimes less, sometimes more, especially in the flat areas, you finally reach that destination, pack away all that you brought up the hill, especially that little steak you left out to thaw for dinner, a just reward for all you've accomplished, but, after a short nap. You deserve it, after all you got where you were going despite all that inertia.

Best headlines ever

Naked pair fed LSD gummy worm to dog

Owners of a Noah's Ark replica file a lawsuit over rain damage

In Southcentral Alaska earthquake, damage originated in the ground, engineers say

A headline that could only be written in Alaska: At state cross country, Glacier Bears and Grizzlies sweep, Lynx repeat, Wolverines make history — and a black bear crosses the trail

Man kills self before shooting wife and daughter

Alabama governor candidate caught in lesbian sperm donation scandal

Sister hits moose on way to visit sister who hit moose.

Man caught driving stolen car filled with radioactive uranium, rattlesnake, whiskey

Man loses his testicles after attempting to smoke weed through a SCUBA tank

Church Mutual Insurance won't cover Church's flood damage because it's 'an act of God'

Homicide victims rarely talk to police

Meerkat Expert Attacked Monkey Handler Over Love Affair with Llama Keeper

GOP congressman opposes gun control because gay marriage leads to bestiality

Owner of killer bear chokes to death on sex toy

Support for legalizing pot hits all-time high

Give me all your money or my penguin will explode

How zombie worms have sex in whale bones

Crocodile steals zoo worker's lawn mower

Woman shot by oven while trying to cook waffles

Nude beach blowjob jet ski fight leads to wife's death

Woman stabs husband with squirrel for not buying beer Christmas Eve

GOPer files complaint against Democrat for telling the truth about Big Lie social posts

Man shot dead on Syracuse Street for 2nd time in 2 days

Alaska woman punches bear in face, saves dog

Johnny Rotten suffers flea bite on his penis after rescuing squirrel

Memorable quotations

The best way to know you are having an adventure is when you wish you were home talking about it." — a mechanic on the Alaska State Ferry System. Or as in my own case planning how I will be writing it on this blog.

"You can't promote principled anti-corruption without pissing off corrupt people." — George Kent

"If only the British had held on to the airports, the whole thing might have gone differently for us." — Mick Jagger

"You can do anything as long as you don't scare the horses." — a mother's favorite saying recalled by a friend

A poem is an egg with a horse inside” — anonymous fourth grader

“My children will likely turn my picture to the wall but what the hell, you only get old once." — Joe May

“Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.” — Ernest Hemingway

When I write, I feel like an armless, legless man with a crayon in his mouth. Kurt Vonnegut

“If you wrote something for which someone sent you a cheque, if you cashed the cheque and it didn't bounce, and if you then paid the light bill with the money, I consider you talented.”Stephen King

The thing about ignorance is, you don't have to remain ignorant. — me again"

"It was like the aftermath of an orgasm with the wrong partner." – David Lagercrants “The Girl in the Spider’s Web.”

Why worry about dying, you aren't going to live to regret it.

Never debate with someone who gets ink by the barrel" — George Hayes, former Alaska Attorney General who died recently

My dear Mr. Frost: two roads never diverge in a yellow wood. Three roads meet there. — @Shakespeare on Twitter

Normal is how somebody else thinks you should act.

"The mark of a great shiphandler is never getting into situations that require great shiphandling," Adm. Ernest King, USN

Me: Does the restaurant have cute waitresses?

My friend Gail: All waitresses are cute when you're hungry.

I'm not a writer, but sometimes I push around words to see what happens. – Scott Berry

I realized today how many of my stories start out "years ago." What's next? Once upon a time?"

“The rivers of Alaska are strewn with the bones of men who made but one mistake” - Fred McGarry, a Nushagak Trapper

Many people hear voices when no one is there. Some of them are called mad and are shut up in rooms where they stared at walls all day. Others are called writers and they do pretty much the same thing. – Meg Chittenden

A non-writing writer is a monster courting insanity. – Franz Kafka

We are all immortal until the one day we are not. – me again

If the muse is late, start without her – Peter S. Beagle

Substitute ‘damn’ every time you’re inclined to write ‘very;’ your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be. ~Mark Twain Actually you could do the same thing with the word "really" as in "really cold."

If you are looking for an experience that will temper your vanity, this is it. There's no one to impress when you're alone on the trap line. – Michael Carey quoting his father's journal

Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing. – Benjamin Franklin

It’s nervous work. The state you need to write in is the state that others are paying large sums of money to get rid of. – Shirley Hazzard

So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of intelligence -- Bertrand Russell

You know that I always just wanted to have a small ship to take stuff from a place that had a lot of that stuff to a place that did not have a lot of that stuff and so prosper.—Jackie Faber, “The Wake of the Lorelei Lee”

If you attack the arguer instead of the argument, you lose both

If an insurance company won’t pay for damages caused by an “act of God,” shouldn’t it then have to prove the existence of God? – I said that

I used to think getting old was about vanity—but actually it’s about losing people you love. Getting wrinkles is trivial. – Eugene O’Neill

German General to Swiss General: “You have only 500,000 men in your army; what would you do if I invaded with 1 million men?”

Swiss General: “Well, I suppose every one of my soldiers would need to fire twice.”

Writing is the only thing that when I do it, I don’t feel I should be doing something else.—Gloria Steinem

Exceed your bandwidth—sign on the wall of the maintenance shop at the West Coast/Alaska Tsunami Warning Center

One thing I do know, if you keep at it, you usually wind up getting something done.—Patricia Monaghan

Do you want to know what kind of person makes the best reporter? I’ll tell you. A borderline sociopath. Someone smart, inquisitive, stubborn, disorganized, chaotic, and in a perpetual state of simmering rage at the failings of the world.—Brett Arends

It is a very simple mind that only knows how to spell a word one way.—Andrew Jackson

3:30 is too late or too early to do anything—Rene Descartes

Everything is okay when it’s 50-below as long as everything is okay. – an Alaskan in Tom Walker’s “The Seventymile Kid”

You can have your own opinion but you can’t have your own science.—commenter arguing on a story about polar bears and global warming

He looks at three ex wives as a good start—TV police drama

Talkeetna: A friendly little drinking town with a climbing problem.—a handmade bumper sticker

“You’re either into the wall or into the show”—Marco Andretti on giving it all to qualify last at the 2011 Indy 500

Makeup is not for the faint of heart—the makeup guerrilla

“I’m going to relax in a very adult manner.”—Danica Patrick after sweating it out and qualifying half an hour before Andretti

“Asking Congress to come back is like asking a mugger to come back because he forgot your wallet.”—a roundtable participant on Fox of all places

As Republicans go further back in the conception process to define when life actually begins, I am beginning to think the eventual definition will be life begins in the beer I was drinking when I met her.—me again

Hunting is a “critical element for the long-term conservation of wood bison.”—a state department of Fish and Game official explaining why the state would not go along with a federal plan to reintroduce wood bison in Alaska because the agreement did not specifically allow hunting

Each day do something that won’t compute – anon

I can’t belive I still have to protest this shit – a sign carriend by an elderly woman at an Occupy demonstration

Life should be a little nuts or else it’s just a bunch of Thursdays strung together—Kevin Costner as Beau Burroughs in “Rumor has it”

You’re just a wanker whipping up fear —Irish President Michael D. Higgins to a tea party radio announcer

Being president doesn’t change who you are; it reveals who you are—Michelle Obama

Sports malaprops

Commenting on an athlete with hearing impairment he said the player didn’t show any “uncomfortability.” “He's not doing things he can't do."

"… there's a fearlessment about him …"

"He's got to have the lead if he's going to win this race." "

"Kansas has always had the ability to score with the basketball."

"NFL to put computer chips in balls." Oh, that's gotta hurt.

"Now that you're in the finals you have to run the race that's going to get you on the podium."

"It's very important for both sides that they stay on their feet."

This is why you get to hate sportscasters. Kansas beats Texas for the first time since 1938. So the pundits open their segment with the question "let's talk about what went wrong." Wrong? Kansas WON a football game! That's what went RIGHT!

"I brought out the thermostat to show you how cold it is here." Points to a thermometer reading zero in Minneapolis.

"It's tough to win on the road when you turn the ball over." Oh, really? Like you can do all right if you turn the ball over playing at home?

Cliches so embedded in sportscasters' minds they can't help themselves: "Minnesota fell from the ranks of the undefeated today." What ranks? They were the only undefeated team left.

A good one: A 5'10" player went up and caught a pass off a defensive back over six feet tall. The quote? "He's got some hops."

Best homonym of the day so far: "It's all tied. Alabama 34, Kentucky 3." Oh, Tide.

"Steve Hooker commentates on his Olympic pole vault gold medal." When "comments" just won't do.

"He's certainly capable of the top ten, maybe even higher than that."

"Atlanta is capable of doing what they're doing."

"Biyombo, one of seven kids from the Republic of Congo." In the NBA? In America? In his whole country?

"You can't come out and be aggressive but you can't come out and be unaggressive."

"They're gonna be in every game they play!"

"First you have to get two strikes on the hitter before you get the strikeout."

"The game ended in the final seconds." You have to wonder when the others ended or are they still going on?

How is a team down by one touchdown before the half "totally demoralized?"

"If they score runs they will win."

"I think the matchup is what it is"

After a play a Houston defender was on his knees, his head on the ground and his hand underneath him appeared to clutch a very sensitive part of the male anatomy. He rolled onto his back and quickly removed his hand. (Remember the old Cosby routine "you cannot touch certain parts of your body?") Finally they helped the guy to the sideline and then the replay was shown. In it the guy clearly took a hard knee between his thighs. As this was being shown, one of the announcers says, "It looks like he hurt his shoulder." The other agrees and then they both talk about how serious a shoulder injury can be. Were we watching the same game?

"Somebody is going to be the quarterback or we're going to see a new quarterback."

"That was a playmaker making a play.”