Saturday, May 22, 2021

Out of the mist, a fantasy fulfilled (partially at least)

Waiting for that tap, tap, tapping.

O
ut of the blue a friend called today. I was so glad to see it was someone who had lived like I do for a while because I had a story. I knew he would understand. I asked him what in his thought processes out there alone was the greatest fantasy. Without hesitation his response was “a woman coming to the door.

I laughed and then said, “That’s what happened to me last night.”

Explanation: As I was watching a DVD McGyver episode (wishing I had been pondering a tome of forgotten yore) there came a tapping, tapping at my door. No, it wasn’t a raven, but it was a vision I had dreamed of for years.

In the drizzling rain stood a gorgeous young woman, water dripping off her hat, her two dogs milling about around her legs. Not only gorgeous, she was obviously Alaskan, dressed in a full suit of Helly Hanson rain gear and muddied from her shoulders to her XTRATuff boots.

She asked if I could give her a ride home, telling me she lived only three miles down the road. My first thought was, “I’d drive you to Florida if that’s where home is.”

What I said was, “sure,” hoping she couldn’t see my heart trying beat its way out of my chest. She told me her four-wheeler broke down about four miles along the trail that leads to the East Pole. She had hiked the four miles of muddy, puddled, slippery wet trail to reach the trail head where I have been high-centered for about a month

I quickly grabbed some outside clothes and a drop cloth to protect my back seat from her muddy dogs. I was so flabbergasted I almost drove off with my generator still running in the bed of the truck and still connected to the trailer by the power supply cord. Fortunately I realized it and stopped before it came up tight and did some damage.

On the road I believe we told about half our life stories including a bear encounter from each of us. We reached her house in short order, long before we could have reached Florida. Incidentally I had us married by the time we drove through Montana.

Out of the car at her house she actually hugged me, something I returned probably with enough enthusiasm to scare her. Still she told me her name, I told her mine and the she said good night before heading into her house with the dogs. Halfway back to my trailer I realized I had done nothing to memorize her name and it has been lost to me. I do remember where she lives, but I have no intention of making her any more nervous about me than she already might be. I am hoping to catch her when she and her father come past on the way to rescue her machine.

Meanwhile I have that moment of fantasy realized burned into my brain.

And it doesn't take too much imagination to go this way: Only three more miles along that trail and two months back in time this could have had an awesome big production number at the end of the story. And of course, there's the reality of that hug to cherish, the first in how long? Years?


Firewood and Revery

Sunday, May 16, 2021

An Iditarod friend is ailing

Sad to report Gail died overnight May 22-23

I am sure there are many people who have known Gail Somerville through her Iditarod volunteer work and through her teaching and through her many other activities around Anchorage over the past five decades. This post is to advise all of her medical emergency. Last Wednesday I received the following message. It is from Bonnie Moore, Gail's daughter-in-law:

"Gail is at Providence. She passed out at our house last night while eating dinner. They did tests and found fluid buildup around her lungs and thought that was putting pressure on her heart. A procedure is scheduled but not sure when. She had been suffering from heart issues for the previous six months to a year. I'll keep you updated when we find out more info. Later that night, this followed: "The CT scan showed torn aorta, she's going into surgery soon tonight."

Eventually they decided against surgery and then Friday, this was the story:" Eric (her son) and I are meeting with the dr team this afternoon so we'll have more info later today. Her dementia is really progressed and is worse in the hospital, not wanting to eat, falling asleep a lot etc..
This came through Saturday: "We decided to go the medication route vs surgery route with Gail's care. She has several conditions that raise the risks for surgery and it would definitely progress her dementia which is not a good thing. She is in the Progressive Care Unit since her blood pressure is improving and we will be talking with the discharge team and social services to start looking at getting things set up for her after she leaves the hospital."

Then Sunday: "Our plan is to have Gail stay at her cabin near Palmer after she is discharged while we work on her house in Anchorage. Deborah (Aman) is coming from Florida ( to take care of her there) and then we'll be looking into hiring a PCA.
"Good news! It sounds like there is a possibility of Gail being discharged from the hospital as early as tomorrow.(May 17)" 
"As we find out more I'll let you know."
"Gail's niece Annette has volunteered to host Zoom get togethers on days that she is not teaching. We're still working on a schedule so thank you for your patience as we figure that out. We did a test run this evening and it worked out well. Gail was happy to see familiar faces and laugh about good memories.
I'm humbled and thankful for everyone's kind words, suggestions, and offers of help. It has made this past week easier and much less stressful for our family. As more plans are made we will keep you all in the loop. — Bonnie Moore


This is a link to Bonnie's Facebook page for news and to leave a message for Gail. It's a private group but Bonnie is pretty quick at accepting people.

Thursday, May 13, 2021

A painless retirement



   
Re-tired

 Over the years I’ve written a few posts criticizing one business or another. This week I thought it only right to point out a positive experience with a business I had never dealt with before. Due to my own ignorance, I damaged all four tires on my travel trailer. It has been parked near Talkeetna for about a month waiting on repair shop and insurance to get repairs organized. I finally decided to do something myself to get moving, literally. The name Diversified Tire had come up in communications with all the parties so I called them and tried to make an appointment. Someone there told me it was first come, first served. Because of the distance, about 75 miles, I dreaded that, but I set out Monday morning hoping to get it done in one day. I even considered making a hotel reservation as a backup. I shouldn’t have worried.
    I hadn’t realized I was driving into the mayhem of a few days before the deadline when winter studs had to be taken off all vehicles. (May 15 around here because of the extended winter we experienced.)
    When I arrived I noticed all the bays where workers changed tires plus one outdoors station for larger vehicles were filled and the waiting line stretched almost out the door.
    The first thing I noticed was the four guys checking people seemed to be outgoing, friendly and moved efficiently. If one guy stepped away from his station, another took his place and picked up right where the first one left off.
    In short order my turn came up. They recalled my phone call, prepared the proper paperwork and told me I could unhitch from the trailer and go do what I needed to do. You don’t waste a trip to town and I had a pretty good list of stops. The guy said it would be three to four hours and he would call or text me when it was ready. That was a relief, no waiting room time.
    So, I went about my business and returned about four hours later, planning to wait. I had settled into waiting mode in my parked truck and 15 minutes later the call came through. My trailer was ready. I went in and paid — the cost was exactly the estimate told to me in the earlier phone call.
    In and out and I went to hook up and head back. Now, if you have ever hitched a heavy trailer to a towing vehicle you know it is not a quick task. Several connections have to be made, some of them difficult for a single person. I found my trailer in the yard and started the process. During this operation (and mind you this was toward the end of the day) three different guys came by to ask how I was doing and did I need any help. All of them friendly, almost cheerful and accommodating. Mostly I didn’t but the third guy came over when I was in the most difficult part of the process and stuck with me until it was done, both of us working together to get it done and when it was, he walked off wishing me a safe trip.
    I started picking up the few tools we used and inspected all the way around to make sure I hadn’t forgotten something. At that point a fourth guy came over and explained to me how I need to torque the lug nuts on the wheels because of their aluminum construction after about 50 miles, even down to how much torque — 120 pounds. I’m not sure these old muscles can generate that much force. That done, he too, wished me a safe trip and started to walk off. I stopped him to tell him I really appreciated the way they work and the ways they helped me.
    He smiled and said, “like us on Facebook.” I hope this suffices.
    Oh yeah laughed as I passed the hotel I didn’t make a reservation for and made it back in time for the evening news.

Best headlines ever

Naked pair fed LSD gummy worm to dog

Owners of a Noah's Ark replica file a lawsuit over rain damage

In Southcentral Alaska earthquake, damage originated in the ground, engineers say

A headline that could only be written in Alaska: At state cross country, Glacier Bears and Grizzlies sweep, Lynx repeat, Wolverines make history — and a black bear crosses the trail

Man kills self before shooting wife and daughter

Alabama governor candidate caught in lesbian sperm donation scandal

Sister hits moose on way to visit sister who hit moose.

Man caught driving stolen car filled with radioactive uranium, rattlesnake, whiskey

Man loses his testicles after attempting to smoke weed through a SCUBA tank

Church Mutual Insurance won't cover Church's flood damage because it's 'an act of God'

Homicide victims rarely talk to police

Meerkat Expert Attacked Monkey Handler Over Love Affair with Llama Keeper

GOP congressman opposes gun control because gay marriage leads to bestiality

Owner of killer bear chokes to death on sex toy

Support for legalizing pot hits all-time high

Give me all your money or my penguin will explode

How zombie worms have sex in whale bones

Crocodile steals zoo worker's lawn mower

Woman shot by oven while trying to cook waffles

Nude beach blowjob jet ski fight leads to wife's death

Woman stabs husband with squirrel for not buying beer Christmas Eve

GOPer files complaint against Democrat for telling the truth about Big Lie social posts

Man shot dead on Syracuse Street for 2nd time in 2 days

Alaska woman punches bear in face, saves dog

Johnny Rotten suffers flea bite on his penis after rescuing squirrel

Memorable quotations

The best way to know you are having an adventure is when you wish you were home talking about it." — a mechanic on the Alaska State Ferry System. Or as in my own case planning how I will be writing it on this blog.

"You can't promote principled anti-corruption without pissing off corrupt people." — George Kent

"If only the British had held on to the airports, the whole thing might have gone differently for us." — Mick Jagger

"You can do anything as long as you don't scare the horses." — a mother's favorite saying recalled by a friend

A poem is an egg with a horse inside” — anonymous fourth grader

“My children will likely turn my picture to the wall but what the hell, you only get old once." — Joe May

“Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.” — Ernest Hemingway

When I write, I feel like an armless, legless man with a crayon in his mouth. Kurt Vonnegut

“If you wrote something for which someone sent you a cheque, if you cashed the cheque and it didn't bounce, and if you then paid the light bill with the money, I consider you talented.”Stephen King

The thing about ignorance is, you don't have to remain ignorant. — me again"

"It was like the aftermath of an orgasm with the wrong partner." – David Lagercrants “The Girl in the Spider’s Web.”

Why worry about dying, you aren't going to live to regret it.

Never debate with someone who gets ink by the barrel" — George Hayes, former Alaska Attorney General who died recently

My dear Mr. Frost: two roads never diverge in a yellow wood. Three roads meet there. — @Shakespeare on Twitter

Normal is how somebody else thinks you should act.

"The mark of a great shiphandler is never getting into situations that require great shiphandling," Adm. Ernest King, USN

Me: Does the restaurant have cute waitresses?

My friend Gail: All waitresses are cute when you're hungry.

I'm not a writer, but sometimes I push around words to see what happens. – Scott Berry

I realized today how many of my stories start out "years ago." What's next? Once upon a time?"

“The rivers of Alaska are strewn with the bones of men who made but one mistake” - Fred McGarry, a Nushagak Trapper

Many people hear voices when no one is there. Some of them are called mad and are shut up in rooms where they stared at walls all day. Others are called writers and they do pretty much the same thing. – Meg Chittenden

A non-writing writer is a monster courting insanity. – Franz Kafka

We are all immortal until the one day we are not. – me again

If the muse is late, start without her – Peter S. Beagle

Substitute ‘damn’ every time you’re inclined to write ‘very;’ your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be. ~Mark Twain Actually you could do the same thing with the word "really" as in "really cold."

If you are looking for an experience that will temper your vanity, this is it. There's no one to impress when you're alone on the trap line. – Michael Carey quoting his father's journal

Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing. – Benjamin Franklin

It’s nervous work. The state you need to write in is the state that others are paying large sums of money to get rid of. – Shirley Hazzard

So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of intelligence -- Bertrand Russell

You know that I always just wanted to have a small ship to take stuff from a place that had a lot of that stuff to a place that did not have a lot of that stuff and so prosper.—Jackie Faber, “The Wake of the Lorelei Lee”

If you attack the arguer instead of the argument, you lose both

If an insurance company won’t pay for damages caused by an “act of God,” shouldn’t it then have to prove the existence of God? – I said that

I used to think getting old was about vanity—but actually it’s about losing people you love. Getting wrinkles is trivial. – Eugene O’Neill

German General to Swiss General: “You have only 500,000 men in your army; what would you do if I invaded with 1 million men?”

Swiss General: “Well, I suppose every one of my soldiers would need to fire twice.”

Writing is the only thing that when I do it, I don’t feel I should be doing something else.—Gloria Steinem

Exceed your bandwidth—sign on the wall of the maintenance shop at the West Coast/Alaska Tsunami Warning Center

One thing I do know, if you keep at it, you usually wind up getting something done.—Patricia Monaghan

Do you want to know what kind of person makes the best reporter? I’ll tell you. A borderline sociopath. Someone smart, inquisitive, stubborn, disorganized, chaotic, and in a perpetual state of simmering rage at the failings of the world.—Brett Arends

It is a very simple mind that only knows how to spell a word one way.—Andrew Jackson

3:30 is too late or too early to do anything—Rene Descartes

Everything is okay when it’s 50-below as long as everything is okay. – an Alaskan in Tom Walker’s “The Seventymile Kid”

You can have your own opinion but you can’t have your own science.—commenter arguing on a story about polar bears and global warming

He looks at three ex wives as a good start—TV police drama

Talkeetna: A friendly little drinking town with a climbing problem.—a handmade bumper sticker

“You’re either into the wall or into the show”—Marco Andretti on giving it all to qualify last at the 2011 Indy 500

Makeup is not for the faint of heart—the makeup guerrilla

“I’m going to relax in a very adult manner.”—Danica Patrick after sweating it out and qualifying half an hour before Andretti

“Asking Congress to come back is like asking a mugger to come back because he forgot your wallet.”—a roundtable participant on Fox of all places

As Republicans go further back in the conception process to define when life actually begins, I am beginning to think the eventual definition will be life begins in the beer I was drinking when I met her.—me again

Hunting is a “critical element for the long-term conservation of wood bison.”—a state department of Fish and Game official explaining why the state would not go along with a federal plan to reintroduce wood bison in Alaska because the agreement did not specifically allow hunting

Each day do something that won’t compute – anon

I can’t belive I still have to protest this shit – a sign carriend by an elderly woman at an Occupy demonstration

Life should be a little nuts or else it’s just a bunch of Thursdays strung together—Kevin Costner as Beau Burroughs in “Rumor has it”

You’re just a wanker whipping up fear —Irish President Michael D. Higgins to a tea party radio announcer

Being president doesn’t change who you are; it reveals who you are—Michelle Obama

Sports malaprops

Commenting on an athlete with hearing impairment he said the player didn’t show any “uncomfortability.” “He's not doing things he can't do."

"… there's a fearlessment about him …"

"He's got to have the lead if he's going to win this race." "

"Kansas has always had the ability to score with the basketball."

"NFL to put computer chips in balls." Oh, that's gotta hurt.

"Now that you're in the finals you have to run the race that's going to get you on the podium."

"It's very important for both sides that they stay on their feet."

This is why you get to hate sportscasters. Kansas beats Texas for the first time since 1938. So the pundits open their segment with the question "let's talk about what went wrong." Wrong? Kansas WON a football game! That's what went RIGHT!

"I brought out the thermostat to show you how cold it is here." Points to a thermometer reading zero in Minneapolis.

"It's tough to win on the road when you turn the ball over." Oh, really? Like you can do all right if you turn the ball over playing at home?

Cliches so embedded in sportscasters' minds they can't help themselves: "Minnesota fell from the ranks of the undefeated today." What ranks? They were the only undefeated team left.

A good one: A 5'10" player went up and caught a pass off a defensive back over six feet tall. The quote? "He's got some hops."

Best homonym of the day so far: "It's all tied. Alabama 34, Kentucky 3." Oh, Tide.

"Steve Hooker commentates on his Olympic pole vault gold medal." When "comments" just won't do.

"He's certainly capable of the top ten, maybe even higher than that."

"Atlanta is capable of doing what they're doing."

"Biyombo, one of seven kids from the Republic of Congo." In the NBA? In America? In his whole country?

"You can't come out and be aggressive but you can't come out and be unaggressive."

"They're gonna be in every game they play!"

"First you have to get two strikes on the hitter before you get the strikeout."

"The game ended in the final seconds." You have to wonder when the others ended or are they still going on?

How is a team down by one touchdown before the half "totally demoralized?"

"If they score runs they will win."

"I think the matchup is what it is"

After a play a Houston defender was on his knees, his head on the ground and his hand underneath him appeared to clutch a very sensitive part of the male anatomy. He rolled onto his back and quickly removed his hand. (Remember the old Cosby routine "you cannot touch certain parts of your body?") Finally they helped the guy to the sideline and then the replay was shown. In it the guy clearly took a hard knee between his thighs. As this was being shown, one of the announcers says, "It looks like he hurt his shoulder." The other agrees and then they both talk about how serious a shoulder injury can be. Were we watching the same game?

"Somebody is going to be the quarterback or we're going to see a new quarterback."

"That was a playmaker making a play.”