Saturday, October 15, 2022

Stepping out beyond 80

October 13, 2022 Age, health and celebration: I haven’t smoked anything since January 2004; I can count my yearly intake of alcoholic drinks in single digits; I haven’t even been near a woman who wasn’t a nurse in about five years; my doctor calls me a fine specimen (but warns about a little too much sugar); I really can’t tolerate loud music; and today I am going to celebrate my 80th birthday — if only I can figure out how.
 Fortieth Birthday, exactly 40 years ago today, flying my Orca flag 1,000 miles off Cape Mendocino, California. I had finished a watch at 8 a.m.; slept until 11; and woke up to a cabin filled with balloons, a half rack of beer and a can of tomato juice (I went on a red beer kick for a while in those days.); and 24 hours off watch. Drank more beer that day than I have in the past five years.  To read more about that birthday follow this link and scroll down to October 13: Log of the Midnight Sun Part 2/

  • Jerrianne Lowther
    Tim Jones Still have that photo on my bulletin board. Unlike the rest of us, it never gets older! And even though the Orca flag wanted to fly upside down, it never seemed to matter. IIRC the Orca flag flew whenever your cruise passengers saw whales fro…
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  • Samuel Sly
    Tim Jones I couldn't help but think about how I'm the same age as you were in that picture.
  • Tim Jones
    Samuel Sly See what you have to look forward to?
    • 21 LIKES


Bonnie Moore

Happy birthday Tim

 

Louis Tex Edwards

And many, many more!

 

Paula Ann McCann

Happy birthday Tim!

 

Betty Sederquist

Happy birthday, friend. Lots of good memories.

 

Mary Fairley

Happy birthday Tim!

 

Mark Fuerstenau

And a very happy birthday to my old friend! May your next trip around the sun be your best bet!! ðŸ˜ŠðŸŽ‰ðŸ¥³ðŸŽ‚

Jeanne Passin

That’s awesome! Happy birthday!

 

Carrie Ann Nash

Hope you have a good day!

 

Eric Lopez

Happy birthday old friend. That’s a milestone!

 

Linda G Robinson

Happy day tim

 

Kristin Thoresen

Happy birthday, Tim!

 

Samuel Sly

Happy Birthday!

 

Marian Nattrass

Happy Birthday Tim! You will come up with a way to celebrate. I’m sure friends will remember. You have friends In Buffalo too!

 

Sharon Wright

Happy Birthday, Tim! Pleased to have met you 45 years ago. Wishing you a fine and lively milestone birthday year!

 

Joe May

Have a good one, Tim. It can be a little lonely out here beyond 80. I know I do. But you can feel a little uppity about managing the karma it took to get you here today.

 

Tim Jones

Joe May Love that phrase "out here beyond 80"

 

Patty Friend

Happy Birthday Tim . . .have a grand day!!

 

Emma Silver

Happy birthday Tim!

 

Drina Guest

Gefeliciteerd !! Congratulationsand Happy Birthday!! ðŸŽ‰

 

Carole Trombetta Thoresen

Happy birthday, Tim. I’m sure you’ll figure something out! Go find some delicious cake!

Tim Jones

Carole Trombetta Thoresen Settled for a Marie Callender mud pie.

 

Janine Oros Amon

Oh heavens, make me feel old! We were children when we met!

Tim Jones

Janine Oros Amon That's part of the secret, face the world with childish wonder.

 

Helen Haseley

Happy Happy Birthday Tim!

 

Karen Lachance

Happy Birthday Tim!!

 

Jim Swaney

Happy birthday mate

 

Rosemary Bassett

Happy Birthday Tim...Have a Great day celebrating YOU !!!

 

Stacey Smith Mitchell

Happy Birthday Orca!

Tim Jones

Stacey Smith Mitchell Thank you KBPB

 

Stacey Smith Mitchell

It’s hard to believe I met you 43 years ago!

 

Judy Youngquist

Happy Birthday!

 

Donna Fischer Happy birthday


Nikki Klinger >Tim Jones

  · 

Hope you had the best birthday ever! Wishing you many more years of peace, happiness and good health. You continue to bring love, laughter and joy to the world. Rock on, keep writing and live every day to the fullest, no matter where you are!

Tim Jones

Nikki Klinger I don't think anything can top that one 40 years ago as it marked achievement of three of my life goals, one of which was writing a book: I picked up the first copy of "Last Great Race" when we went through Seattle and I had just finished my third year as a professional boat operator, not to mention I was sailing the big ocean from Alaska to Hawaii. I had only one more of those idealistic goals to reach and I did that three years later when I built that cabin at the East Pole. But this birthday turned out to be pretty darned good, frankly I was overwhelmed by the well wishes, so, thank you.




Thank you, all the people who took the time to wish me well on this monument of a birthday. I was looking for a way to celebrate it and you all gave me one for which I will always be grateful. We too often use superlatives but this one truly fits: I am overwhelmed. My wish for you is that you can experience the same as life goes on. Again, Thank you all. And, onward …


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COMMENTS

Libby Riddles Happy Birthday, village time! ðŸ˜Ž all the Best!

Tammie Stoops  Happy birthday ðŸŽ‚

Louis Tex EdwardsGreat photo (and smile)!

Tim Jones It seemed like the right one for looking forward and racing headlong into your ninth decade.

Louis Tex Edwards Fair winds and following seas!

Tim Jones Hope for the best, prepare for the worst

Louis Tex Edwards Amen!

Tim Hale Happy birthday!

Cheryl FairHappy birthday, Tim!

Timothy Turner  Happy Birthday old friend, still cheating death I see.

Rebecca Johnson Nice picture

Michele Longenbach Happy Birthday Tim!

Joe May Did my annual VA physical last week. Was weighed, measured, (and maybe found wanting). Measured only 5' 7 1/2 " where before turning 80 I measured 5' 9" SO, if it seems you must reach "up" for your coffee now, that's it, you're probably condensing a little.

            Tim Jones Yeah, I'm down about three inches.

Steve Lindbeck  I love that photo, Tim. Happy birthday!




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Best headlines ever

Naked pair fed LSD gummy worm to dog

Owners of a Noah's Ark replica file a lawsuit over rain damage

In Southcentral Alaska earthquake, damage originated in the ground, engineers say

A headline that could only be written in Alaska: At state cross country, Glacier Bears and Grizzlies sweep, Lynx repeat, Wolverines make history — and a black bear crosses the trail

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Man loses his testicles after attempting to smoke weed through a SCUBA tank

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Meerkat Expert Attacked Monkey Handler Over Love Affair with Llama Keeper

GOP congressman opposes gun control because gay marriage leads to bestiality

Owner of killer bear chokes to death on sex toy

Support for legalizing pot hits all-time high

Give me all your money or my penguin will explode

How zombie worms have sex in whale bones

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Nude beach blowjob jet ski fight leads to wife's death

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GOPer files complaint against Democrat for telling the truth about Big Lie social posts

Man shot dead on Syracuse Street for 2nd time in 2 days

Alaska woman punches bear in face, saves dog

Johnny Rotten suffers flea bite on his penis after rescuing squirrel

Memorable quotations

The best way to know you are having an adventure is when you wish you were home talking about it." — a mechanic on the Alaska State Ferry System. Or as in my own case planning how I will be writing it on this blog.

"You can't promote principled anti-corruption without pissing off corrupt people." — George Kent

"If only the British had held on to the airports, the whole thing might have gone differently for us." — Mick Jagger

"You can do anything as long as you don't scare the horses." — a mother's favorite saying recalled by a friend

A poem is an egg with a horse inside” — anonymous fourth grader

“My children will likely turn my picture to the wall but what the hell, you only get old once." — Joe May

“Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.” — Ernest Hemingway

When I write, I feel like an armless, legless man with a crayon in his mouth.― Kurt Vonnegut

“If you wrote something for which someone sent you a cheque, if you cashed the cheque and it didn't bounce, and if you then paid the light bill with the money, I consider you talented.”―Stephen King

The thing about ignorance is, you don't have to remain ignorant. — me again"

"It was like the aftermath of an orgasm with the wrong partner." – David Lagercrants “The Girl in the Spider’s Web.”

Why worry about dying, you aren't going to live to regret it.

Never debate with someone who gets ink by the barrel" — George Hayes, former Alaska Attorney General who died recently

My dear Mr. Frost: two roads never diverge in a yellow wood. Three roads meet there. — @Shakespeare on Twitter

Normal is how somebody else thinks you should act.

"The mark of a great shiphandler is never getting into situations that require great shiphandling," Adm. Ernest King, USN

Me: Does the restaurant have cute waitresses?

My friend Gail: All waitresses are cute when you're hungry.

I'm not a writer, but sometimes I push around words to see what happens. – Scott Berry

I realized today how many of my stories start out "years ago." What's next? Once upon a time?"

“The rivers of Alaska are strewn with the bones of men who made but one mistake” - Fred McGarry, a Nushagak Trapper

Many people hear voices when no one is there. Some of them are called mad and are shut up in rooms where they stared at walls all day. Others are called writers and they do pretty much the same thing. – Meg Chittenden

A non-writing writer is a monster courting insanity. – Franz Kafka

We are all immortal until the one day we are not. – me again

If the muse is late, start without her – Peter S. Beagle

Substitute ‘damn’ every time you’re inclined to write ‘very;’ your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be. ~Mark Twain Actually you could do the same thing with the word "really" as in "really cold."

If you are looking for an experience that will temper your vanity, this is it. There's no one to impress when you're alone on the trap line. – Michael Carey quoting his father's journal

Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing. – Benjamin Franklin

It’s nervous work. The state you need to write in is the state that others are paying large sums of money to get rid of. – Shirley Hazzard

So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of intelligence -- Bertrand Russell

You know that I always just wanted to have a small ship to take stuff from a place that had a lot of that stuff to a place that did not have a lot of that stuff and so prosper.—Jackie Faber, “The Wake of the Lorelei Lee”

If you attack the arguer instead of the argument, you lose both

If an insurance company won’t pay for damages caused by an “act of God,” shouldn’t it then have to prove the existence of God? – I said that

I used to think getting old was about vanity—but actually it’s about losing people you love. Getting wrinkles is trivial. – Eugene O’Neill

German General to Swiss General: “You have only 500,000 men in your army; what would you do if I invaded with 1 million men?”

Swiss General: “Well, I suppose every one of my soldiers would need to fire twice.”

Writing is the only thing that when I do it, I don’t feel I should be doing something else.—Gloria Steinem

Exceed your bandwidth—sign on the wall of the maintenance shop at the West Coast/Alaska Tsunami Warning Center

One thing I do know, if you keep at it, you usually wind up getting something done.—Patricia Monaghan

Do you want to know what kind of person makes the best reporter? I’ll tell you. A borderline sociopath. Someone smart, inquisitive, stubborn, disorganized, chaotic, and in a perpetual state of simmering rage at the failings of the world.—Brett Arends

It is a very simple mind that only knows how to spell a word one way.—Andrew Jackson

3:30 is too late or too early to do anything—Rene Descartes

Everything is okay when it’s 50-below as long as everything is okay. – an Alaskan in Tom Walker’s “The Seventymile Kid”

You can have your own opinion but you can’t have your own science.—commenter arguing on a story about polar bears and global warming

He looks at three ex wives as a good start—TV police drama

Talkeetna: A friendly little drinking town with a climbing problem.—a handmade bumper sticker

“You’re either into the wall or into the show”—Marco Andretti on giving it all to qualify last at the 2011 Indy 500

Makeup is not for the faint of heart—the makeup guerrilla

“I’m going to relax in a very adult manner.”—Danica Patrick after sweating it out and qualifying half an hour before Andretti

“Asking Congress to come back is like asking a mugger to come back because he forgot your wallet.”—a roundtable participant on Fox of all places

As Republicans go further back in the conception process to define when life actually begins, I am beginning to think the eventual definition will be life begins in the beer I was drinking when I met her.—me again

Hunting is a “critical element for the long-term conservation of wood bison.”—a state department of Fish and Game official explaining why the state would not go along with a federal plan to reintroduce wood bison in Alaska because the agreement did not specifically allow hunting

Each day do something that won’t compute – anon

I can’t belive I still have to protest this shit – a sign carriend by an elderly woman at an Occupy demonstration

Life should be a little nuts or else it’s just a bunch of Thursdays strung together—Kevin Costner as Beau Burroughs in “Rumor has it”

You’re just a wanker whipping up fear —Irish President Michael D. Higgins to a tea party radio announcer

Being president doesn’t change who you are; it reveals who you are—Michelle Obama

Sports malaprops

Commenting on an athlete with hearing impairment he said the player didn’t show any “uncomfortability.” “He's not doing things he can't do."

"… there's a fearlessment about him …"

"He's got to have the lead if he's going to win this race." "

"Kansas has always had the ability to score with the basketball."

"NFL to put computer chips in balls." Oh, that's gotta hurt.

"Now that you're in the finals you have to run the race that's going to get you on the podium."

"It's very important for both sides that they stay on their feet."

This is why you get to hate sportscasters. Kansas beats Texas for the first time since 1938. So the pundits open their segment with the question "let's talk about what went wrong." Wrong? Kansas WON a football game! That's what went RIGHT!

"I brought out the thermostat to show you how cold it is here." Points to a thermometer reading zero in Minneapolis.

"It's tough to win on the road when you turn the ball over." Oh, really? Like you can do all right if you turn the ball over playing at home?

Cliches so embedded in sportscasters' minds they can't help themselves: "Minnesota fell from the ranks of the undefeated today." What ranks? They were the only undefeated team left.

A good one: A 5'10" player went up and caught a pass off a defensive back over six feet tall. The quote? "He's got some hops."

Best homonym of the day so far: "It's all tied. Alabama 34, Kentucky 3." Oh, Tide.

"Steve Hooker commentates on his Olympic pole vault gold medal." When "comments" just won't do.

"He's certainly capable of the top ten, maybe even higher than that."

"Atlanta is capable of doing what they're doing."

"Biyombo, one of seven kids from the Republic of Congo." In the NBA? In America? In his whole country?

"You can't come out and be aggressive but you can't come out and be unaggressive."

"They're gonna be in every game they play!"

"First you have to get two strikes on the hitter before you get the strikeout."

"The game ended in the final seconds." You have to wonder when the others ended or are they still going on?

How is a team down by one touchdown before the half "totally demoralized?"

"If they score runs they will win."

"I think the matchup is what it is"

After a play a Houston defender was on his knees, his head on the ground and his hand underneath him appeared to clutch a very sensitive part of the male anatomy. He rolled onto his back and quickly removed his hand. (Remember the old Cosby routine "you cannot touch certain parts of your body?") Finally they helped the guy to the sideline and then the replay was shown. In it the guy clearly took a hard knee between his thighs. As this was being shown, one of the announcers says, "It looks like he hurt his shoulder." The other agrees and then they both talk about how serious a shoulder injury can be. Were we watching the same game?

"Somebody is going to be the quarterback or we're going to see a new quarterback."

"That was a playmaker making a play.”