Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Some measure of order has been restored

When last we left this convoluted tale, the little car was stuck at the end of the driveway and the Jeep was parked behind it. The temperature was about 20 degrees and snowflakes the size of pillows were falling. That was Friday. Saturday I made the better choice and took the Jeep to work and it was the right choice as through the night we watched the weather steadily deteriorate.
One of the last postings I made at work before I left was that winds in excess of 100 mph were expected in the higher elevations near Anchorage, along with driving rain. Rain! Thinking about driving 40 miles in that was at least intimidating. Jeeps aren't particularly aerodynamic and I wondered what that blunt, square shape would do if hit by a 100-mph-gust. Not sure, but I think I found out. I took a blast not too far along the road that rocked the Jeep. I'm not sure if the wheels came off the ground but I could definitely feel a change. That was the point where a new sound developed as well. One thing all those years on boats did to me was make me sensitive to any sound that is out of context. There can be a lot of noise on a boat with engines and generators and hydraulics running but anybody worth his salt will still hear that little ping that doesn't belong. It might as well be a siren because the response is the same. This was more like a whistle and as usual with a strange sound I immediately thought the whole thing was coming apart. Then I had a lucid moment and figured it out. In addition to a lack of aerodynamic integrity, Jeeps aren't exactly air tight either. That sound was wind whistling through cracks around the doors and windshield. Wow. That was a bit sobering.

So, with the vehicle under constant assault by wind and rain, and potentially ice road under the tires and Saturday night drunks on the road, I proceeded toward home at about 40 mph. I have never been so relieved to leave the new road and take the old road even through it was more of a mess and the wind and rain seemed more powerful. And, now I had to go through an avalanche area as well. Add to that the thought of crossing the river bridge broadside to that wind and it sill felt better than dealing with the drunks on the new highway.

For most of the road, the wind wasn't too bad but I still crept along not sure if the road was icy or not. Then I came around the curve out of the woods onto the river bank and it felt like a truck hit the Jeep. Talk about a hard wind. (There's one of those useless adjectives. How hard was it? Ummm. Well it felt like it stopped the Jeep cold, like it had been punched.) The bridge would be an adventure. But, I took a hard gust just as I rounded the curve that leads up onto it. Looking ahead, despite the rain, the wind had blown the bridge pavement totally dry, I mean it was normal concrete gray instead of black with moisture. As soon as the gust died, I floored it and raced across that bridge just as fast as that car would accelerate. Made it all the way across before any more gusts hit. Home now would be a piece of cake.

I backed into the driveway behind the little car and then walked up to the house, looking around for any cracking trees. The thermometer read 50 degrees. FIFTY in December in Alaska. That also meant the temperature had risen 70 degrees in the space of about four days.
At 3 a.m. the power went out.

Then came Sunday. For one thing look at the post below with the bird taking a bath in a puddle in the yard. Nice drive to work. But still some rain and you couldn't be sure whether the road was just wet or icy. Several vehicles were off the road stuck in the median and down the slope from the shoulder. Still people were passing me at 65 and 70. I always wonder what part of wet, icy road, winter, fairly heavy traffic and wind, don't these people get. Even all the vehicles off the road didn't phase them.

Windy and rainy but the roads seemed thawed. Reading the stories, there were several reports of gusts nearly 100 mph and one of 118. By Monday morning the police reported for Friday Saturday and Sunday: 177 vehicles in distress; 124 accidents, and 22 accidents with injuries.
Hmmm Haven't gotten to the restoring order part yet. Well, today: Both vehicles are where they should be, parked near the house and so much snow was melted out of the driveway, no problem getting in and out. First snowmachine is started and running fine. Four-wheeler that was out because the stalled snowmachine was blocking the garage is back inside safe again. The temperature is back in the 20s where it belongs and the birdbaths are frozen over like they should be. And other things are in progress, including the next immersion.

So, as the saying goes: Cheated death one more time.

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Best headlines ever

Naked pair fed LSD gummy worm to dog

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A headline that could only be written in Alaska: At state cross country, Glacier Bears and Grizzlies sweep, Lynx repeat, Wolverines make history — and a black bear crosses the trail

Man kills self before shooting wife and daughter

Alabama governor candidate caught in lesbian sperm donation scandal

Sister hits moose on way to visit sister who hit moose.

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GOP congressman opposes gun control because gay marriage leads to bestiality

Owner of killer bear chokes to death on sex toy

Support for legalizing pot hits all-time high

Give me all your money or my penguin will explode

How zombie worms have sex in whale bones

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Memorable quotations

The best way to know you are having an adventure is when you wish you were home talking about it." — a mechanic on the Alaska State Ferry System. Or as in my own case planning how I will be writing it on this blog.

"You can't promote principled anti-corruption without pissing off corrupt people." — George Kent

"If only the British had held on to the airports, the whole thing might have gone differently for us." — Mick Jagger

"You can do anything as long as you don't scare the horses." — a mother's favorite saying recalled by a friend

A poem is an egg with a horse inside” — anonymous fourth grader

“My children will likely turn my picture to the wall but what the hell, you only get old once." — Joe May

“Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.” — Ernest Hemingway

When I write, I feel like an armless, legless man with a crayon in his mouth. Kurt Vonnegut

“If you wrote something for which someone sent you a cheque, if you cashed the cheque and it didn't bounce, and if you then paid the light bill with the money, I consider you talented.”Stephen King

The thing about ignorance is, you don't have to remain ignorant. — me again"

"It was like the aftermath of an orgasm with the wrong partner." – David Lagercrants “The Girl in the Spider’s Web.”

Why worry about dying, you aren't going to live to regret it.

Never debate with someone who gets ink by the barrel" — George Hayes, former Alaska Attorney General who died recently

My dear Mr. Frost: two roads never diverge in a yellow wood. Three roads meet there. — @Shakespeare on Twitter

Normal is how somebody else thinks you should act.

"The mark of a great shiphandler is never getting into situations that require great shiphandling," Adm. Ernest King, USN

Me: Does the restaurant have cute waitresses?

My friend Gail: All waitresses are cute when you're hungry.

I'm not a writer, but sometimes I push around words to see what happens. – Scott Berry

I realized today how many of my stories start out "years ago." What's next? Once upon a time?"

“The rivers of Alaska are strewn with the bones of men who made but one mistake” - Fred McGarry, a Nushagak Trapper

Many people hear voices when no one is there. Some of them are called mad and are shut up in rooms where they stared at walls all day. Others are called writers and they do pretty much the same thing. – Meg Chittenden

A non-writing writer is a monster courting insanity. – Franz Kafka

We are all immortal until the one day we are not. – me again

If the muse is late, start without her – Peter S. Beagle

Substitute ‘damn’ every time you’re inclined to write ‘very;’ your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be. ~Mark Twain Actually you could do the same thing with the word "really" as in "really cold."

If you are looking for an experience that will temper your vanity, this is it. There's no one to impress when you're alone on the trap line. – Michael Carey quoting his father's journal

Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing. – Benjamin Franklin

It’s nervous work. The state you need to write in is the state that others are paying large sums of money to get rid of. – Shirley Hazzard

So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of intelligence -- Bertrand Russell

You know that I always just wanted to have a small ship to take stuff from a place that had a lot of that stuff to a place that did not have a lot of that stuff and so prosper.—Jackie Faber, “The Wake of the Lorelei Lee”

If you attack the arguer instead of the argument, you lose both

If an insurance company won’t pay for damages caused by an “act of God,” shouldn’t it then have to prove the existence of God? – I said that

I used to think getting old was about vanity—but actually it’s about losing people you love. Getting wrinkles is trivial. – Eugene O’Neill

German General to Swiss General: “You have only 500,000 men in your army; what would you do if I invaded with 1 million men?”

Swiss General: “Well, I suppose every one of my soldiers would need to fire twice.”

Writing is the only thing that when I do it, I don’t feel I should be doing something else.—Gloria Steinem

Exceed your bandwidth—sign on the wall of the maintenance shop at the West Coast/Alaska Tsunami Warning Center

One thing I do know, if you keep at it, you usually wind up getting something done.—Patricia Monaghan

Do you want to know what kind of person makes the best reporter? I’ll tell you. A borderline sociopath. Someone smart, inquisitive, stubborn, disorganized, chaotic, and in a perpetual state of simmering rage at the failings of the world.—Brett Arends

It is a very simple mind that only knows how to spell a word one way.—Andrew Jackson

3:30 is too late or too early to do anything—Rene Descartes

Everything is okay when it’s 50-below as long as everything is okay. – an Alaskan in Tom Walker’s “The Seventymile Kid”

You can have your own opinion but you can’t have your own science.—commenter arguing on a story about polar bears and global warming

He looks at three ex wives as a good start—TV police drama

Talkeetna: A friendly little drinking town with a climbing problem.—a handmade bumper sticker

“You’re either into the wall or into the show”—Marco Andretti on giving it all to qualify last at the 2011 Indy 500

Makeup is not for the faint of heart—the makeup guerrilla

“I’m going to relax in a very adult manner.”—Danica Patrick after sweating it out and qualifying half an hour before Andretti

“Asking Congress to come back is like asking a mugger to come back because he forgot your wallet.”—a roundtable participant on Fox of all places

As Republicans go further back in the conception process to define when life actually begins, I am beginning to think the eventual definition will be life begins in the beer I was drinking when I met her.—me again

Hunting is a “critical element for the long-term conservation of wood bison.”—a state department of Fish and Game official explaining why the state would not go along with a federal plan to reintroduce wood bison in Alaska because the agreement did not specifically allow hunting

Each day do something that won’t compute – anon

I can’t belive I still have to protest this shit – a sign carriend by an elderly woman at an Occupy demonstration

Life should be a little nuts or else it’s just a bunch of Thursdays strung together—Kevin Costner as Beau Burroughs in “Rumor has it”

You’re just a wanker whipping up fear —Irish President Michael D. Higgins to a tea party radio announcer

Being president doesn’t change who you are; it reveals who you are—Michelle Obama

Sports malaprops

Naked pair fed LSD gummy worm to dog

Owners of a Noah's Ark replica file a lawsuit over rain damage

In Southcentral Alaska earthquake, damage originated in the ground, engineers say

A headline that could only be written in Alaska: At state cross country, Glacier Bears and Grizzlies sweep, Lynx repeat, Wolverines make history — and a black bear crosses the trail

Man kills self before shooting wife and daughter

Alabama governor candidate caught in lesbian sperm donation scandal

Sister hits moose on way to visit sister who hit moose.

Man caught driving stolen car filled with radioactive uranium, rattlesnake, whiskey

Man loses his testicles after attempting to smoke weed through a SCUBA tank

Church Mutual Insurance won't cover Church's flood damage because it's 'an act of God'

Homicide victims rarely talk to police

Meerkat Expert Attacked Monkey Handler Over Love Affair with Llama Keeper

GOP congressman opposes gun control because gay marriage leads to bestiality

Owner of killer bear chokes to death on sex toy

Support for legalizing pot hits all-time high

Give me all your money or my penguin will explode

How zombie worms have sex in whale bones

Crocodile steals zoo worker's lawn mower

Woman shot by oven while trying to cook waffles

Nude beach blowjob jet ski fight leads to wife's death

Woman stabs husband with squirrel for not buying beer Christmas Eve

GOPer files complaint against Democrat for telling the truth about Big Lie social posts

Man shot dead on Syracuse Street for 2nd time in 2 days

Alaska woman punches bear in face, saves dog

Johnny Rotten suffers flea bite on his penis after rescuing squirrel