Friday, March 19, 2021

I get by with a little help from my friends. East Pole Journal V.II Ep. 14

My yard's a mess during wood gathering season.
Some years ago my friend Joe May sent me a gadget that measures the amount of moisture in wood. You can tell if your firewood is dry enough to burn, at least that’s how I figured it. As a result it sat unused for much of the year, often forgotten, at least until today.
     In my waking thought process today I decided to stick it out here as long as I can rather than run at the first sign of anything resembling the big thaw we call breakup. I am behind on firewood. At this point I’m about half a cord short. I have enough on the ground but there’s a lot of hauling and splitting and stacking to be done. On top of that, after the miserable January and February I spent out here I figure Nature owes me a few extra days.

     To confirm my resolve I heard a weather show on the radio where some expert says we are going through a March when the temperature never went above freezing, we have a deep compacted snow pack and it looks like winter will stretch on into April. So, I’m staying.

     One problem. I am running out of the seasoned birch firewood I cut last year. I have enough to just about make it to the end of March, which was all I planned for. What I’ve been cutting this year ain’t going to burn yet so I needed to take down one of the beetle-killed spruce around here. They are usually dry enough to give an adequate burn.

     I had picked out two that looked good but how do you choose? Wait, hey, let’s see which one is drier. And there comes Joe May’s General MMD4E Moisture gauge. So with the instrument in hand I headed for the first tree, slogging through thigh deep soft snow until I reach it to push in the probes. 20.56% moisture. Even a neophyte like me knows that’s not good. Too bad, that one was closer to the house and near one of the trails I’d made for hauling the wood up from the two birches I have been working on. More slogging through deep snow. I am not sure which spruce species I am looking at. The first one has a tight bark pattern and yellowish wood while the other has a ragged bark pattern and whitish wood. After another 100 feet of slogging, I jammed the probes into the second tree. First reading 16.4%, but a couple of other spots showed between 11% and 13%. That falls into the medium range and is probably burnable.

    Then I saw where another friend had helped. The song’s line and the headline say friends (plural). I’ve written about all the moose trails around here in the past week or so and look at this: there’s a moose trail that passes near the tree and continues on to my main uphill trail. That means pretty easy hauling once I get the moose trail packed down a little more.

Next step grab a chainsaw and within less than an hour I had the tree down and sections cut about halfway along the trunk. I pulled a couple of them up the trail in the sled and split them and some are burning in the stove right now. After nearly tearing my arms out of their sockets mangling birch, splitting light spruce is delightful, even fun. That whole process of felling the tree cutting up the trunk, hauling a couple pieces uphill and splitting them took less than an hour all told. And, that was on top of my normal hours put in handling the birch. 

     Like I said I get by with a little help from my friends. So, thank you Joe May and thank you anonymous moose. You made my day and take the pressure off so staying here a little longer than usual. And, there should be enough firewood in that spruce I took down to keep me warm this year with a lot left over for next year.  Winner, winner, wish I had some chicken for dinner. 


ADDENDUM: 

Treating wood for moisture


Upon awakening the next morning my wandering mind produced another epiphany regarding moisture content in wood. I have bragged for years how the March sun lights up my deck for four or five hours every afternoon sending the temperature in a thermometer that gets the full force of that sunlight into the stratosphere as high as 70 degrees or more. Why not, I thought, lay out a bunch of this new spruce I have cut on the deck and let the sun suck the moisture out of it. So, I cut and split some and laid it out. At the start a little after noon, I checked moisture in two chunks with my Joe May approved General™MMD4E moisture gauge. One chunk from the center of a larger piece read 18.9% moisture. The other, taken closer to the outer edge just under the bark read 15.9%. Sixteen percent is the breaking point between high and medium ranges on the meter. A couple of hours of overcast shortened the direct sunlight period, however when I checked them at 9 p.m., the deep wood read 17.6 on the gauge, a drop of more than 1%. The other showed a similar drop at 14.7%, more than 1%. That doesn’t sound like much, but it is a gain, making the wood more burnable. I have two or three weeks in that sunshine so I am going to leave it out in the sun and add to it. Now if I only had something that measures BTUs. Day by day drying progress: % moisture content

Start     Center     Outer rim

Begin     18.9%     15.9%

Day 1     17.6%     14.7% (Haze for part of day)

Day 2     15.8%     13.4% (Full sun)

Day 3     14.3%      9.2% (Full sun) 

Day 4     11.45%     7.45%  (Hazy all day)

Day 5     15.2%      15.9& (Full 12 hours plus snowing)    

 

AND: Here’s that “but.” I have been testing at the ends of the pieces to get the recorded numbers. Just as a “what if” tonight I tested in the middle of the chunk, the lengthwise middle.

No numbers even close to ”medium.” Synopsis: The sun has a noticeable effect, but it’s not as universally strong as first indicated. All the readings were between 17 and 20 percent, too moist to be effective fuel, But, yes, there’s another one. I learned how to burn it. By itself in the stove it tended to smolder and eventually go out. However if I get a good fire going at first, using the last of the precious birch from last year, and then built up a bed of coals and kept the fire blazing, it burned fine. It takes more tending to keep it going, but I have lots of that wood. Only one problem; it was 90 degrees in here last night when I went to bed.

East Pole Journal

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Memorable quotations

The best way to know you are having an adventure is when you wish you were home talking about it." — a mechanic on the Alaska State Ferry System. Or as in my own case planning how I will be writing it on this blog.

"You can't promote principled anti-corruption without pissing off corrupt people." — George Kent

"If only the British had held on to the airports, the whole thing might have gone differently for us." — Mick Jagger

"You can do anything as long as you don't scare the horses." — a mother's favorite saying recalled by a friend

A poem is an egg with a horse inside” — anonymous fourth grader

“My children will likely turn my picture to the wall but what the hell, you only get old once." — Joe May

“Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.” — Ernest Hemingway

When I write, I feel like an armless, legless man with a crayon in his mouth. Kurt Vonnegut

“If you wrote something for which someone sent you a cheque, if you cashed the cheque and it didn't bounce, and if you then paid the light bill with the money, I consider you talented.”Stephen King

The thing about ignorance is, you don't have to remain ignorant. — me again"

"It was like the aftermath of an orgasm with the wrong partner." – David Lagercrants “The Girl in the Spider’s Web.”

Why worry about dying, you aren't going to live to regret it.

Never debate with someone who gets ink by the barrel" — George Hayes, former Alaska Attorney General who died recently

My dear Mr. Frost: two roads never diverge in a yellow wood. Three roads meet there. — @Shakespeare on Twitter

Normal is how somebody else thinks you should act.

"The mark of a great shiphandler is never getting into situations that require great shiphandling," Adm. Ernest King, USN

Me: Does the restaurant have cute waitresses?

My friend Gail: All waitresses are cute when you're hungry.

I'm not a writer, but sometimes I push around words to see what happens. – Scott Berry

I realized today how many of my stories start out "years ago." What's next? Once upon a time?"

“The rivers of Alaska are strewn with the bones of men who made but one mistake” - Fred McGarry, a Nushagak Trapper

Many people hear voices when no one is there. Some of them are called mad and are shut up in rooms where they stared at walls all day. Others are called writers and they do pretty much the same thing. – Meg Chittenden

A non-writing writer is a monster courting insanity. – Franz Kafka

We are all immortal until the one day we are not. – me again

If the muse is late, start without her – Peter S. Beagle

Substitute ‘damn’ every time you’re inclined to write ‘very;’ your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be. ~Mark Twain Actually you could do the same thing with the word "really" as in "really cold."

If you are looking for an experience that will temper your vanity, this is it. There's no one to impress when you're alone on the trap line. – Michael Carey quoting his father's journal

Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing. – Benjamin Franklin

It’s nervous work. The state you need to write in is the state that others are paying large sums of money to get rid of. – Shirley Hazzard

So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of intelligence -- Bertrand Russell

You know that I always just wanted to have a small ship to take stuff from a place that had a lot of that stuff to a place that did not have a lot of that stuff and so prosper.—Jackie Faber, “The Wake of the Lorelei Lee”

If you attack the arguer instead of the argument, you lose both

If an insurance company won’t pay for damages caused by an “act of God,” shouldn’t it then have to prove the existence of God? – I said that

I used to think getting old was about vanity—but actually it’s about losing people you love. Getting wrinkles is trivial. – Eugene O’Neill

German General to Swiss General: “You have only 500,000 men in your army; what would you do if I invaded with 1 million men?”

Swiss General: “Well, I suppose every one of my soldiers would need to fire twice.”

Writing is the only thing that when I do it, I don’t feel I should be doing something else.—Gloria Steinem

Exceed your bandwidth—sign on the wall of the maintenance shop at the West Coast/Alaska Tsunami Warning Center

One thing I do know, if you keep at it, you usually wind up getting something done.—Patricia Monaghan

Do you want to know what kind of person makes the best reporter? I’ll tell you. A borderline sociopath. Someone smart, inquisitive, stubborn, disorganized, chaotic, and in a perpetual state of simmering rage at the failings of the world.—Brett Arends

It is a very simple mind that only knows how to spell a word one way.—Andrew Jackson

3:30 is too late or too early to do anything—Rene Descartes

Everything is okay when it’s 50-below as long as everything is okay. – an Alaskan in Tom Walker’s “The Seventymile Kid”

You can have your own opinion but you can’t have your own science.—commenter arguing on a story about polar bears and global warming

He looks at three ex wives as a good start—TV police drama

Talkeetna: A friendly little drinking town with a climbing problem.—a handmade bumper sticker

“You’re either into the wall or into the show”—Marco Andretti on giving it all to qualify last at the 2011 Indy 500

Makeup is not for the faint of heart—the makeup guerrilla

“I’m going to relax in a very adult manner.”—Danica Patrick after sweating it out and qualifying half an hour before Andretti

“Asking Congress to come back is like asking a mugger to come back because he forgot your wallet.”—a roundtable participant on Fox of all places

As Republicans go further back in the conception process to define when life actually begins, I am beginning to think the eventual definition will be life begins in the beer I was drinking when I met her.—me again

Hunting is a “critical element for the long-term conservation of wood bison.”—a state department of Fish and Game official explaining why the state would not go along with a federal plan to reintroduce wood bison in Alaska because the agreement did not specifically allow hunting

Each day do something that won’t compute – anon

I can’t belive I still have to protest this shit – a sign carriend by an elderly woman at an Occupy demonstration

Life should be a little nuts or else it’s just a bunch of Thursdays strung together—Kevin Costner as Beau Burroughs in “Rumor has it”

You’re just a wanker whipping up fear —Irish President Michael D. Higgins to a tea party radio announcer

Being president doesn’t change who you are; it reveals who you are—Michelle Obama

Sports malaprops

Commenting on an athlete with hearing impairment he said the player didn’t show any “uncomfortability.” “He's not doing things he can't do."

"… there's a fearlessment about him …"

"He's got to have the lead if he's going to win this race." "

"Kansas has always had the ability to score with the basketball."

"NFL to put computer chips in balls." Oh, that's gotta hurt.

"Now that you're in the finals you have to run the race that's going to get you on the podium."

"It's very important for both sides that they stay on their feet."

This is why you get to hate sportscasters. Kansas beats Texas for the first time since 1938. So the pundits open their segment with the question "let's talk about what went wrong." Wrong? Kansas WON a football game! That's what went RIGHT!

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Cliches so embedded in sportscasters' minds they can't help themselves: "Minnesota fell from the ranks of the undefeated today." What ranks? They were the only undefeated team left.

A good one: A 5'10" player went up and caught a pass off a defensive back over six feet tall. The quote? "He's got some hops."

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"First you have to get two strikes on the hitter before you get the strikeout."

"The game ended in the final seconds." You have to wonder when the others ended or are they still going on?

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"That was a playmaker making a play.”