
Naked pair fed LSD gummy worm to dog
Owners of a Noah's Ark replica file a lawsuit over rain damage
In Southcentral Alaska earthquake, damage originated in the ground, engineers say
A headline that could only be written in Alaska: At state cross country, Glacier Bears and Grizzlies sweep, Lynx repeat, Wolverines make history â and a black bear crosses the trail
Man kills self before shooting wife and daughter
Alabama governor candidate caught in lesbian sperm donation scandal
Sister hits moose on way to visit sister who hit moose.
Man caught driving stolen car filled with radioactive uranium, rattlesnake, whiskey
Man loses his testicles after attempting to smoke weed through a SCUBA tank
Church Mutual Insurance won't cover Church's flood damage because it's 'an act of God'
Homicide victims rarely talk to police
Meerkat Expert Attacked Monkey Handler Over Love Affair with Llama Keeper
GOP congressman opposes gun control because gay marriage leads to bestiality
Owner of killer bear chokes to death on sex toy
Support for legalizing pot hits all-time high
Give me all your money or my penguin will explode
How zombie worms have sex in whale bones
Crocodile steals zoo worker's lawn mower
Woman shot by oven while trying to cook waffles
Nude beach blowjob jet ski fight leads to wife's death
Woman stabs husband with squirrel for not buying beer Christmas Eve
GOPer files complaint against Democrat for telling the truth about Big Lie social posts
Man shot dead on Syracuse Street for 2nd time in 2 days
Alaska woman punches bear in face, saves dog
Johnny Rotten suffers flea bite on his penis after rescuing squirrel
The best way to know you are having an adventure is when you wish you were home talking about it." â a mechanic on the Alaska State Ferry System. Or as in my own case planning how I will be writing it on this blog.
"You can't promote principled anti-corruption without pissing off corrupt people." â George Kent
"If only the British had held on to the airports, the whole thing might have gone differently for us." â Mick Jagger
"You can do anything as long as you don't scare the horses." â a mother's favorite saying recalled by a friend
A poem is an egg with a horse insideâ â anonymous fourth grader
âMy children will likely turn my picture to the wall but what the hell, you only get old once." â Joe May
âAlways do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.â â Ernest Hemingway
When I write, I feel like an armless, legless man with a crayon in his mouth.â Kurt Vonnegut
âIf you wrote something for which someone sent you a cheque, if you cashed the cheque and it didn't bounce, and if you then paid the light bill with the money, I consider you talented.ââStephen King
The thing about ignorance is, you don't have to remain ignorant. â me again"
"It was like the aftermath of an orgasm with the wrong partner." â David Lagercrants âThe Girl in the Spiderâs Web.â
Why worry about dying, you aren't going to live to regret it.
Never debate with someone who gets ink by the barrel" â George Hayes, former Alaska Attorney General who died recently
My dear Mr. Frost: two roads never diverge in a yellow wood. Three roads meet there. â @Shakespeare on Twitter
Normal is how somebody else thinks you should act.
"The mark of a great shiphandler is never getting into situations that require great shiphandling," Adm. Ernest King, USN
Me: Does the restaurant have cute waitresses?
My friend Gail: All waitresses are cute when you're hungry.
I'm not a writer, but sometimes I push around words to see what happens. â Scott Berry
I realized today how many of my stories start out "years ago." What's next? Once upon a time?"
âThe rivers of Alaska are strewn with the bones of men who made but one mistakeâ - Fred McGarry, a Nushagak Trapper
Many people hear voices when no one is there. Some of them are called mad and are shut up in rooms where they stared at walls all day. Others are called writers and they do pretty much the same thing. â Meg Chittenden
A non-writing writer is a monster courting insanity. â Franz Kafka
We are all immortal until the one day we are not. â me again
If the muse is late, start without her â Peter S. Beagle
Substitute âdamnâ every time youâre inclined to write âvery;â your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be. ~Mark Twain Actually you could do the same thing with the word "really" as in "really cold."
If you are looking for an experience that will temper your vanity, this is it. There's no one to impress when you're alone on the trap line. â Michael Carey quoting his father's journal
Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing. â Benjamin Franklin
Itâs nervous work. The state you need to write in is the state that others are paying large sums of money to get rid of. â Shirley Hazzard
So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of intelligence -- Bertrand Russell
You know that I always just wanted to have a small ship to take stuff from a place that had a lot of that stuff to a place that did not have a lot of that stuff and so prosper.âJackie Faber, âThe Wake of the Lorelei Leeâ
If you attack the arguer instead of the argument, you lose both
If an insurance company wonât pay for damages caused by an âact of God,â shouldnât it then have to prove the existence of God? â I said that
I used to think getting old was about vanityâbut actually itâs about losing people you love. Getting wrinkles is trivial. â Eugene OâNeill
German General to Swiss General: âYou have only 500,000 men in your army; what would you do if I invaded with 1 million men?â
Swiss General: âWell, I suppose every one of my soldiers would need to fire twice.â
Writing is the only thing that when I do it, I donât feel I should be doing something else.âGloria Steinem
Exceed your bandwidthâsign on the wall of the maintenance shop at the West Coast/Alaska Tsunami Warning Center
One thing I do know, if you keep at it, you usually wind up getting something done.âPatricia Monaghan
Do you want to know what kind of person makes the best reporter? Iâll tell you. A borderline sociopath. Someone smart, inquisitive, stubborn, disorganized, chaotic, and in a perpetual state of simmering rage at the failings of the world.âBrett Arends
It is a very simple mind that only knows how to spell a word one way.âAndrew Jackson
3:30 is too late or too early to do anythingâRene Descartes
Everything is okay when itâs 50-below as long as everything is okay. â an Alaskan in Tom Walkerâs âThe Seventymile Kidâ
You can have your own opinion but you canât have your own science.âcommenter arguing on a story about polar bears and global warming
He looks at three ex wives as a good startâTV police drama
Talkeetna: A friendly little drinking town with a climbing problem.âa handmade bumper sticker
âYouâre either into the wall or into the showââMarco Andretti on giving it all to qualify last at the 2011 Indy 500
Makeup is not for the faint of heartâthe makeup guerrilla
âIâm going to relax in a very adult manner.ââDanica Patrick after sweating it out and qualifying half an hour before Andretti
âAsking Congress to come back is like asking a mugger to come back because he forgot your wallet.ââa roundtable participant on Fox of all places
As Republicans go further back in the conception process to define when life actually begins, I am beginning to think the eventual definition will be life begins in the beer I was drinking when I met her.âme again
Hunting is a âcritical element for the long-term conservation of wood bison.ââa state department of Fish and Game official explaining why the state would not go along with a federal plan to reintroduce wood bison in Alaska because the agreement did not specifically allow hunting
Each day do something that wonât compute â anon
I canât belive I still have to protest this shit â a sign carriend by an elderly woman at an Occupy demonstration
Life should be a little nuts or else itâs just a bunch of Thursdays strung togetherâKevin Costner as Beau Burroughs in âRumor has itâ
Youâre just a wanker whipping up fear âIrish President Michael D. Higgins to a tea party radio announcer
Being president doesnât change who you are; it reveals who you areâMichelle Obama
Commenting on an athlete with hearing impairment he said the player didnât show any âuncomfortability.â âHe's not doing things he can't do."
"⊠there's a fearlessment about him âŠ"
"He's got to have the lead if he's going to win this race." "
"Kansas has always had the ability to score with the basketball."
"NFL to put computer chips in balls." Oh, that's gotta hurt.
"Now that you're in the finals you have to run the race that's going to get you on the podium."
"It's very important for both sides that they stay on their feet."
This is why you get to hate sportscasters. Kansas beats Texas for the first time since 1938. So the pundits open their segment with the question "let's talk about what went wrong." Wrong? Kansas WON a football game! That's what went RIGHT!
"I brought out the thermostat to show you how cold it is here." Points to a thermometer reading zero in Minneapolis.
"It's tough to win on the road when you turn the ball over." Oh, really? Like you can do all right if you turn the ball over playing at home?
Cliches so embedded in sportscasters' minds they can't help themselves: "Minnesota fell from the ranks of the undefeated today." What ranks? They were the only undefeated team left.
A good one: A 5'10" player went up and caught a pass off a defensive back over six feet tall. The quote? "He's got some hops."
Best homonym of the day so far: "It's all tied. Alabama 34, Kentucky 3." Oh, Tide.
"Steve Hooker commentates on his Olympic pole vault gold medal." When "comments" just won't do.
"He's certainly capable of the top ten, maybe even higher than that."
"Atlanta is capable of doing what they're doing."
"Biyombo, one of seven kids from the Republic of Congo." In the NBA? In America? In his whole country?
"You can't come out and be aggressive but you can't come out and be unaggressive."
"They're gonna be in every game they play!"
"First you have to get two strikes on the hitter before you get the strikeout."
"The game ended in the final seconds." You have to wonder when the others ended or are they still going on?
How is a team down by one touchdown before the half "totally demoralized?"
"If they score runs they will win."
"I think the matchup is what it is"
After a play a Houston defender was on his knees, his head on the ground and his hand underneath him appeared to clutch a very sensitive part of the male anatomy. He rolled onto his back and quickly removed his hand. (Remember the old Cosby routine "you cannot touch certain parts of your body?") Finally they helped the guy to the sideline and then the replay was shown. In it the guy clearly took a hard knee between his thighs. As this was being shown, one of the announcers says, "It looks like he hurt his shoulder." The other agrees and then they both talk about how serious a shoulder injury can be. Were we watching the same game?
"Somebody is going to be the quarterback or we're going to see a new quarterback."
"That was a playmaker making a play.â
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