Thursday, June 3, 2010

Driver training


Talk about an obstacle course, last night driving home was like one of those layouts with a series of pylons you have to drive around, only these moved, slowly, but they moved, well, some of them moved. The porcupine bloom was late this year but it is in full flower now. In a distance of about 8 miles had to drive around three dead ones and another four alive and moving back and forth across the center line. They wobble and move so slowly, you have no idea which direction they might head into and dodging them becomes a guessing game. Every one I saw alive was still alive after I passed so, it's all good.

That said, today was the final planting and I now have the start of yet another flower garden. Sparse like last year but I kind of like knowing individual plants without losing them in a bunch. Some new varieties this year too, so we shall see how well they do.

So, I guess that pretty much has summer under way. Gathering up stuff and orcanizing for the wedding in a little more than two weeks. You have to love a venue where the operator keeps a shotgun by the door in case the occasional bear walks into the reception. A jokester said it should be white if the wedding is formal. I suggested white was all right but only between Memorial Day and Labor Day. Ramble on and ramble on.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

A fine example of Alaskans at their very best


How many times has there been an accident scene where everyone is standing around gawking, looking, but not getting involved? Yesterday a few Alaskans showed how it should be done. A small airplane, a Cessna 206, crashed into a building on a busy city street right at the beginning of rush hour. Not one, but 25 regular old people jumped up and ran to the rescue. They pulled four people from the flaming wreckage saving their lives. The story is here. Take a look at the photo gallery. In one picture you will see half a dozen people lifting an airplane wing while others reach into the cabin to pull the people out. There are flames coming from the airplane and keep in mind, that wing holds a full fuel tank. (The airplane was taking off, believed to be leaving Anchorage for Western Alaska.) Unfortunately one four year old child died in the flames. I can only imagine the people who saved the other four, thinking, wondering, wishing they could have reached that child somehow but police said the flames became too intense. The comments at the end of the story are interesting, too, many of them from family and friends of the people who were in the airplane. It was an amazing display, these people just passing by but stopping and rushing to the aid of people trapped in a burning airplane and saving lives, the kind of thing you expect from an Alaskan but also something to appreciate and never, ever, take for granted.

Originality part Deux.

A couple of nights ago we had a story about a fellow who is dying of leukemia. On his bucket list was a wish to rebuild an older Kawasaki motorcycle and run it at the local drag strip. His drag race on the bike was the featured story on the front page which means three headlines. The main two simply told the story and the third, above the picture, was to lead into the other two. This is what I wrote: "Sometimes the best medicine is a drag." Remember when it shows up on a bumper sticker, you saw it here first. And it's not an ad for medical marijuana.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Smoke screens, bad love and Lady GaGa



Fire season is full upon us now and it’s early. About 260 fires so far and 260,000 acres burned including the Farewell Lake lodge that the firefighters vowed to protect and then pulled their gear out of there to fight somewhere else. The original cabin had been there since the 30s. One fire is less than 20 miles from here and burning this way. It would have to jump the Knik River to get to this house but the smoke is all over the place. (That's the mountain in front of the house obscured by smoke.) I had to drive through it on the way to and from work yesterday.
Before work I was surfing the T and V and came across something called 19 hours of Lady GaGa and it made me a little curious. I have been aware of her and her outrageous outfits and somehow I think unconsciously I recognized a kindred spirit though I am pretty sure I have never heard a single song all the way through. So, interspersed among music videos, there was a fairly serious interview with her, done last November. No wild outfit, although a wild wig, and you could actually see her eyes, but she spoke very softly and very confidently. Over the years I have thought about and talked about with a few people, the creative process and the creative personality. Here is one. One thing a friend and I were discussing not too long ago was the sensitivity it takes to write. Her point was, considering how extremely sensitive you have to be to write, how can there be any writers with all the people in the world quite willing to criticize? So this Lady GaGa admitted to the interviewer that she often cries as she is writing her songs. That to me is artistic sensitivity. And I can understand the wild outfits in that context. My answer to it was develop an overwhelming, if false, ego and express it loudly. Hers is to generate outrageous outfits that draw critical attention away from what is really important to her and protect her sensitivity.
The interviewer kept trying to get off topic and she kept reminding him the agreement was to talk about her music. No romances, no sexual preferences, no catty remarks about other artists, she very deftly deflected those questions. One other moment struck me. She expressed an interest in Andy Warhol’s art, which seems obvious. But she spoke of looking at a Warhol in the Louvre. Get this, a wild rock star going to the Louvre. At any rate, she said the painting looked nothing like the Warhol works she was familiar with. At some point in this viewing she admitted to crying again. Then a curator explained to her Warhol painted the particular work early in his life, when he was 23. Her response at least during the interview was, wow, that’s how old I am now. I have so much more in me, I have so far to go.” This from a person who is at the top of her game and her genre already.
And, oh yes, the bad love in the title. In one song she sings I want your ugly, I want your pain and some other phrases along that line. The interviewer asked her what that meant, bringing up negative images in a song about love. And, her thought was, love is total, you don’t get to pick which parts of your partner you wish to love. You love the beauty, but you also have to love the ugly and you don’t have true deep love until you love the whole person.
Enough, I guess. I was just impressed with a very complex person who showed a fascinating creative intellect. And I bought two songs on iTunes. Ga Ga ooo la la
And the fires keep burning and life continues to be obscured within different kinds of smoke.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Sightings, criminals and solitude


There’s lots of traffic on the commute these days, but never as much as when I used to drive it early in the mornings. I saw the first moose in a while last night and at least one porcupine every night. Lots of birds flitting around, even saw an owl one night that I almost hit. A fox scampered across the road one night in that gait they have that is deceptively fast because they stay low and look like they are slinking with very little up and down motion. The one glaring exception is swans. No swans on the pond yet and it’s getting late now. I still wonder if the ones shot a week or so ago aren’t the ones that usually hang out on the pond I pass.
That criminal has been caught. Like the trooper said, we take our swans seriously. Someone had taken a picture around the lake where they were found and either accidentally or on purpose managed to photograph the license plate of the suspect’s car. Turns out he was a soldier on one of the bases here. He was arrested and two firearms confiscated. You just don’t mess with swans in Alaska. But, none of this is going to put two white birds on the pond I pass this year. I feel that loss and I expect others who pass the place do, too.
Another resident of the commute has been spotted as well. Though I often look, I haven’t seen the Solitary Man since that encounter in the movie theater parking lot a while back. But, a friend on a birthday picnic saw him the other day. Here in her words:
“Your solitary man was there too, just sitting with his gear at an isolated table. During the time we were there, he used the restroom, washed his hands in the river, and eventually gathered up his bed roll and other things. He walked under the bridge of northbound traffic, and climbed the hill to the area between the two highways - just like you said. The guy who is the park supervisor came around wanting money for the park use (yes, he was the real guy, not a sneaky panhandler), and he was collecting $5 for each car. He looked at the solitary man and ignored him. I am sure he has seen him often. As soon as Tess saw him, she said, ‘hey that guy was here when we were here last year.’ Interesting.”
Reassuring to know there is some constant in the world and that this fellow lives pretty much on his own and under the radar. But, curiouser and curiouser …
And there was a moon, an almost full moon, probably the last one we'll see until September or so,

Best headlines ever

Naked pair fed LSD gummy worm to dog

Owners of a Noah's Ark replica file a lawsuit over rain damage

In Southcentral Alaska earthquake, damage originated in the ground, engineers say

A headline that could only be written in Alaska: At state cross country, Glacier Bears and Grizzlies sweep, Lynx repeat, Wolverines make history — and a black bear crosses the trail

Man kills self before shooting wife and daughter

Alabama governor candidate caught in lesbian sperm donation scandal

Sister hits moose on way to visit sister who hit moose.

Man caught driving stolen car filled with radioactive uranium, rattlesnake, whiskey

Man loses his testicles after attempting to smoke weed through a SCUBA tank

Church Mutual Insurance won't cover Church's flood damage because it's 'an act of God'

Homicide victims rarely talk to police

Meerkat Expert Attacked Monkey Handler Over Love Affair with Llama Keeper

GOP congressman opposes gun control because gay marriage leads to bestiality

Owner of killer bear chokes to death on sex toy

Support for legalizing pot hits all-time high

Give me all your money or my penguin will explode

How zombie worms have sex in whale bones

Crocodile steals zoo worker's lawn mower

Woman shot by oven while trying to cook waffles

Nude beach blowjob jet ski fight leads to wife's death

Woman stabs husband with squirrel for not buying beer Christmas Eve

GOPer files complaint against Democrat for telling the truth about Big Lie social posts

Man shot dead on Syracuse Street for 2nd time in 2 days

Alaska woman punches bear in face, saves dog

Johnny Rotten suffers flea bite on his penis after rescuing squirrel

Memorable quotations

The best way to know you are having an adventure is when you wish you were home talking about it." — a mechanic on the Alaska State Ferry System. Or as in my own case planning how I will be writing it on this blog.

"You can't promote principled anti-corruption without pissing off corrupt people." — George Kent

"If only the British had held on to the airports, the whole thing might have gone differently for us." — Mick Jagger

"You can do anything as long as you don't scare the horses." — a mother's favorite saying recalled by a friend

A poem is an egg with a horse inside” — anonymous fourth grader

“My children will likely turn my picture to the wall but what the hell, you only get old once." — Joe May

“Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.” — Ernest Hemingway

When I write, I feel like an armless, legless man with a crayon in his mouth.― Kurt Vonnegut

“If you wrote something for which someone sent you a cheque, if you cashed the cheque and it didn't bounce, and if you then paid the light bill with the money, I consider you talented.”―Stephen King

The thing about ignorance is, you don't have to remain ignorant. — me again"

"It was like the aftermath of an orgasm with the wrong partner." – David Lagercrants “The Girl in the Spider’s Web.”

Why worry about dying, you aren't going to live to regret it.

Never debate with someone who gets ink by the barrel" — George Hayes, former Alaska Attorney General who died recently

My dear Mr. Frost: two roads never diverge in a yellow wood. Three roads meet there. — @Shakespeare on Twitter

Normal is how somebody else thinks you should act.

"The mark of a great shiphandler is never getting into situations that require great shiphandling," Adm. Ernest King, USN

Me: Does the restaurant have cute waitresses?

My friend Gail: All waitresses are cute when you're hungry.

I'm not a writer, but sometimes I push around words to see what happens. – Scott Berry

I realized today how many of my stories start out "years ago." What's next? Once upon a time?"

“The rivers of Alaska are strewn with the bones of men who made but one mistake” - Fred McGarry, a Nushagak Trapper

Many people hear voices when no one is there. Some of them are called mad and are shut up in rooms where they stared at walls all day. Others are called writers and they do pretty much the same thing. – Meg Chittenden

A non-writing writer is a monster courting insanity. – Franz Kafka

We are all immortal until the one day we are not. – me again

If the muse is late, start without her – Peter S. Beagle

Substitute ‘damn’ every time you’re inclined to write ‘very;’ your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be. ~Mark Twain Actually you could do the same thing with the word "really" as in "really cold."

If you are looking for an experience that will temper your vanity, this is it. There's no one to impress when you're alone on the trap line. – Michael Carey quoting his father's journal

Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing. – Benjamin Franklin

It’s nervous work. The state you need to write in is the state that others are paying large sums of money to get rid of. – Shirley Hazzard

So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of intelligence -- Bertrand Russell

You know that I always just wanted to have a small ship to take stuff from a place that had a lot of that stuff to a place that did not have a lot of that stuff and so prosper.—Jackie Faber, “The Wake of the Lorelei Lee”

If you attack the arguer instead of the argument, you lose both

If an insurance company won’t pay for damages caused by an “act of God,” shouldn’t it then have to prove the existence of God? – I said that

I used to think getting old was about vanity—but actually it’s about losing people you love. Getting wrinkles is trivial. – Eugene O’Neill

German General to Swiss General: “You have only 500,000 men in your army; what would you do if I invaded with 1 million men?”

Swiss General: “Well, I suppose every one of my soldiers would need to fire twice.”

Writing is the only thing that when I do it, I don’t feel I should be doing something else.—Gloria Steinem

Exceed your bandwidth—sign on the wall of the maintenance shop at the West Coast/Alaska Tsunami Warning Center

One thing I do know, if you keep at it, you usually wind up getting something done.—Patricia Monaghan

Do you want to know what kind of person makes the best reporter? I’ll tell you. A borderline sociopath. Someone smart, inquisitive, stubborn, disorganized, chaotic, and in a perpetual state of simmering rage at the failings of the world.—Brett Arends

It is a very simple mind that only knows how to spell a word one way.—Andrew Jackson

3:30 is too late or too early to do anything—Rene Descartes

Everything is okay when it’s 50-below as long as everything is okay. – an Alaskan in Tom Walker’s “The Seventymile Kid”

You can have your own opinion but you can’t have your own science.—commenter arguing on a story about polar bears and global warming

He looks at three ex wives as a good start—TV police drama

Talkeetna: A friendly little drinking town with a climbing problem.—a handmade bumper sticker

“You’re either into the wall or into the show”—Marco Andretti on giving it all to qualify last at the 2011 Indy 500

Makeup is not for the faint of heart—the makeup guerrilla

“I’m going to relax in a very adult manner.”—Danica Patrick after sweating it out and qualifying half an hour before Andretti

“Asking Congress to come back is like asking a mugger to come back because he forgot your wallet.”—a roundtable participant on Fox of all places

As Republicans go further back in the conception process to define when life actually begins, I am beginning to think the eventual definition will be life begins in the beer I was drinking when I met her.—me again

Hunting is a “critical element for the long-term conservation of wood bison.”—a state department of Fish and Game official explaining why the state would not go along with a federal plan to reintroduce wood bison in Alaska because the agreement did not specifically allow hunting

Each day do something that won’t compute – anon

I can’t belive I still have to protest this shit – a sign carriend by an elderly woman at an Occupy demonstration

Life should be a little nuts or else it’s just a bunch of Thursdays strung together—Kevin Costner as Beau Burroughs in “Rumor has it”

You’re just a wanker whipping up fear —Irish President Michael D. Higgins to a tea party radio announcer

Being president doesn’t change who you are; it reveals who you are—Michelle Obama

Sports malaprops

Commenting on an athlete with hearing impairment he said the player didn’t show any “uncomfortability.” “He's not doing things he can't do."

"… there's a fearlessment about him …"

"He's got to have the lead if he's going to win this race." "

"Kansas has always had the ability to score with the basketball."

"NFL to put computer chips in balls." Oh, that's gotta hurt.

"Now that you're in the finals you have to run the race that's going to get you on the podium."

"It's very important for both sides that they stay on their feet."

This is why you get to hate sportscasters. Kansas beats Texas for the first time since 1938. So the pundits open their segment with the question "let's talk about what went wrong." Wrong? Kansas WON a football game! That's what went RIGHT!

"I brought out the thermostat to show you how cold it is here." Points to a thermometer reading zero in Minneapolis.

"It's tough to win on the road when you turn the ball over." Oh, really? Like you can do all right if you turn the ball over playing at home?

Cliches so embedded in sportscasters' minds they can't help themselves: "Minnesota fell from the ranks of the undefeated today." What ranks? They were the only undefeated team left.

A good one: A 5'10" player went up and caught a pass off a defensive back over six feet tall. The quote? "He's got some hops."

Best homonym of the day so far: "It's all tied. Alabama 34, Kentucky 3." Oh, Tide.

"Steve Hooker commentates on his Olympic pole vault gold medal." When "comments" just won't do.

"He's certainly capable of the top ten, maybe even higher than that."

"Atlanta is capable of doing what they're doing."

"Biyombo, one of seven kids from the Republic of Congo." In the NBA? In America? In his whole country?

"You can't come out and be aggressive but you can't come out and be unaggressive."

"They're gonna be in every game they play!"

"First you have to get two strikes on the hitter before you get the strikeout."

"The game ended in the final seconds." You have to wonder when the others ended or are they still going on?

How is a team down by one touchdown before the half "totally demoralized?"

"If they score runs they will win."

"I think the matchup is what it is"

After a play a Houston defender was on his knees, his head on the ground and his hand underneath him appeared to clutch a very sensitive part of the male anatomy. He rolled onto his back and quickly removed his hand. (Remember the old Cosby routine "you cannot touch certain parts of your body?") Finally they helped the guy to the sideline and then the replay was shown. In it the guy clearly took a hard knee between his thighs. As this was being shown, one of the announcers says, "It looks like he hurt his shoulder." The other agrees and then they both talk about how serious a shoulder injury can be. Were we watching the same game?

"Somebody is going to be the quarterback or we're going to see a new quarterback."

"That was a playmaker making a play.”